Page 92 of Red Hot Roaster

Yep. My height, so small. Not real, of course—bet Mamma got it on sale. We made paper chains & a foil star for the top.

Rose

Other things you remember about Christmas with your mom?

Me

Cookies & singing.

Monday * 7:33 a.m.

Rose

Still there? Tell me more.

Monday * 7:41 a.m.

Me

Yeah. Sorry. Had to check on a roast. On Christmas Eve, we sang—mostly carols—while we made sugar cookies out of the box. Cut them in shapes, frosted them green & red. Ate them on the spot.

Rose

LOL sugar high. How did you ever fall asleep?

Me

Don’t know. Remember putting out 1 cookie on a plate, water for the reindeer. Conked by the window. Waiting for Santa.

Rose

Good memories, right, Rafe?

Monday * 7:53 a.m.

Me

Yes. More than good. After that, Christmas was hit or miss. Didn’t believe any longer. So no expectations.

Me

Babe, know it’s hard without your mom. Trusting you to take care of yourself, warm yourself with your memories.

Rose

That’s lovely, Rafe. Thank you. And, yes, big strong army-boxer-soccer-roaster guys can be lovely. Get over it.

Me

Rose. Babe. Gotta go deal with the roaster. Later tonight?

Me

Later. That’s a promise.

Wish I could be there to keep you warm.Except you fucking fucked it up, didn’t you?

Monday * 11:42 p.m.

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