Page 15 of Bully

“Okay. Can you just… tell me if we have a chance?”

Her head shook as she took another step back. “It’s not that simple. I don’t… trust you anymore. I don’t feel like my heart is safe with you anymore. You just… left me.” More tears fell. “You made me have our baby alone.”

“Angel…” I tried to hold her, but she lifted her hands and took another step back.

“Your friends, our family, they couldn’t replace you, Bully. I conceived her withyou. She was our love child. I’ve had her for the last six months alone. Do you know how hard this has been for me? To feel alone in a room full of our loved ones just because I didn’t have you?”

My hand wrapped around her neck and I pulled her into my chest, whether she wanted me to or not. Her fists swung wildly until she tired herself out, then she held me again as she sobbed. I picked her up and carried her to her room, where I held her until she cried herself to sleep. As much as I didn’t want to leave, I did.

She wouldn’t want to deal with the vulnerability of the moment in front of me after she woke up. When I made it to the car, I sent her a text so she wouldn’t think I abandoned her.

Me: I’m gone but I’m only a call away if you want me to come back. I’ll pick princess up tomorrow and bring her home. If you want to talk more I’ll be ready but I can also give you space. Just know I’m not giving up on our family. On you. I will earn your trust back and be the man you once felt safe and secure with. I love you baby and I want you and you alone. Please don’t ever doubt that.

After sending the text, I pulled out of her driveway. We’d made some kind of progress but it wasn’t as much as I wanted us to. I’d take things slow because she was worth it—we were worth it.

That I was sure of.

8

Innvy

Brunch with Neowasn’t going as expected. She admitted to telling Bully where we lived, and I didn’t fault her for that. I was sure he and Merc hadn’t taken it easy on my girl. Learning that he’d taken a week to get his professional affairs in order so he could devote all of his attention to me and Innah was kind of sweet. I wasn’t expecting to break down in tears last night but what I’d said to him was true. Unfortunately, I didn’t trust him anymore. I knew he was a man of his word, but there was a part of me that was waiting for the day he’d disappear again.

Maybe it was my ego or an unhealthy, dependent version of love, but I couldn’t understand how he’d been able to go nine months without talking to me. I’d just said that to Neo, and she carefully considered my words before responding.

“Well… men aren’t wired like us. We use time to detach and communication to gain clarity. Men use solitude to find clarity. The less they have us, the more they want us. I would imagine not a day went by that didn’t make Bully want you more. While you, on the other hand, spent that time trying to want him less.”

There was no denying that, so I didn’t even bother to. Instead, I took a sip of my mimosa.

“If it makes you feel better, Merc said he spent their guys’ night last night pouting and looking at pictures of you and Innah.”

Thatdidmake me blush. “He did?”

“Yep. They stayed out for like an hour before they all went home to their women. Bully was pissed because he didn’t want to hang with the wild ass single men after they left.”

I could only imagine. Karrington and Eyela had a new baby boy and Aspen and Malaysia had a little girl. Beethoven wanted to have a second baby with Whiskee but now that he was working in Memphis with Karrington, they decided to hold off on expanding their family. Asylum and Dauterive were content with True and Shiloh for now, and Neo was ready to get the rest of her babies with Merc out of the way. That had been my plan too—to have my babies with Bully back to back so they could grow up together and so I could enjoy traveling and living my life without having to take so many breaks because I was pregnant.

Now, I wasn’t sure what the future held for us. I heard Bully when he said he wanted me and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want him too, but I didn’t want to feel like I made it too easy for him to come back. I didn’t want him to think he could do something like this again and I’d take him back. If there was no fear of losing me, what reason would he have to treat me right?

“I wonder why he didn’t call me. Well, I guess because I never texted him back.”

“Any why didn’t you?”

I shrugged and fought my smile. “Just… not trying to fall back into that habit with him.”

Neo sucked her teeth as she sat back in her seat. “Girl, bye. You know you want that man. Ain’t no point in you playing hard to get.”

“I’m not trying to play hard to get,” I said through my light laughter. “I just don’t want him to think what he did was okay. I don’t want him to think he can treat me any kind of way and there will be no consequence. That I will just accept it.”

“Have you told him that?”

“No. Last night was the first time we really talked about anything other than Innah. Usually when he pops up she’s all we talk about.”

“So maybe you should tell him that. There’s no point in punishing yourself if you want to be with him just to prove a point.”

“Who said I want to be with him? What makes you think not talking to him is me punishing myself?” The skeptical look she gave me made us both burst into a fit of laughter. “Okay, okay, so maybe I do want to be with him. But I can’t make it easy, Neo. I just can’t.”

“Then don’t but be mature and communicate. Make him work for you but actually let him work for you. He can’t apply pressure if you keep him at arm’s length.”

---