Page 12 of Bully

“Trust you?” I repeated with a laugh, smacking his hand away. “You left me on our wedding day. You weren’t here for the birth of our baby! I haven’t seen or heard from you in nine months, and you expect me to just…trustyou?”

“Yes, because other than that, I’ve never done anything to make you feel as if you couldn’t trust me.” My eyes rolled and head shook as I took a step back, but he gripped my shoulders and pulled me forward. “Innvy, you know it had to be something drastic to make me leave you. All I’m asking for is the grace and space to explain what and why. If after that you don’t want to be with me… I’ll give you that.”

“Fine,” I agreed, willing to say just about anything to get him out of my house so I could think and breathe.

“Are you free tomorrow?”

My head shook as I reached around him to open the door fully. “No.”

“Wednesday?”

“That won’t work either,” I declined, pressing my palms together. “I have a really busy week and I don’t want to have this kind of conversation after dealing with clients all day.”

“Then this weekend?” he confirmed. “Saturday evening?”

I thought it over, and when I was unable to come up with an excuse, I agreed with, “That’s fine.”

“What time do you want me to come over?”

“Can you just meet me when I take Innah to your parents?”

His jaw clenched and I could tell he wanted to say no but he agreed. When he left, I got mad at him all over again. How dare he give up on me so easily? All I could do was groan as I headed toward the kitchen for a glass of wine. While I washed my sleeping beauty up, I drowned in thoughts of her father. One minute I wanted him to leave me alone, and the next I wanted him to fight for me. Regardless, as long as he was consistent with Innah, that was the most important thing.

7

Bully

That Weekend

From Tuesday to Friday,I stopped by and saw my girls every morning. Innvy would roll her eyes and rush me out, but I saw her smile when she didn’t think I was paying any attention. I always brought her and baby girl something because I didn’t feel comfortable showing up empty handed. I knew gifts wouldn’t make up for my absence, but giving them something made me feel like I was offering more than my presence until it was enough.

Innah was my heart in human form. She was my joy. My princess. Such a happy baby. Innvy and our tribe had been doing well with her, and I was grateful for my brothers stepping in while I had to be away. Her room had a princess theme, so I’d been bringing something new for the room or her some princess themed clothes every day.

For Innvy, it was always Starbucks, flowers, and a card with a handwritten note that expressed my gratitude for her giving me the chance to see my princess even with things being up in the air with us. I told her if she didn’t want me after the talk that I’d leave her alone but that was a lie. The first one I’d ever told her, and I was sure it would be the last too.

I was supposed to meet up with the crew tonight, so I needed me and Innvy to make progress today. I needed the time away to be worth it. I needed to be able to look them in the eyes the with confidence that came from knowing I hadn’t destroyed my family.

As I left the house, I shot Innvy a text to confirm she was still good with us talking. I knew she wanted to talk at my parents’ house, but I didn’t want them there as a buffer. Pops would want to protect her from me and Ma would want her to forgive and forget.

When my phone vibrated, I paused starting the car to see if it was her.

My Wife: Yeah tonight is still fine.

Me: Can I meet you at your place after you drop baby girl off? Or for dinner somewhere?

My Wife: Don’t push it ??

Me: ??You gotta eat. Can I at least bring something?

Her dots bounced around for a while before she finally agreed. Innvy was a foodie. A good meal with good company was comfort for her. If I could feed her, that would automatically relax her for our conversation.

I could say even with her being distant we’d made progress this past week. We agreed to me spending time with Innah with her and our parents for the next couple of weeks just to make sure our princess was comfortable with me. She was still in that clingy stage and preferred her mother and people she was comfortable with, but when I had her, she was always in good spirits. I didn’t want to be cocky and think if I had her alone for hours it would stay that way, so I was cool with being with her around others while we continued to learn each other’s temperament.

She was a goofy little baby and loved to laugh. Innah could roll around and sit upright. She could say Ma, bye, and other one syllable words. When she couldn’t outright ask for something, she pointed and babbled until you figured it out. If you were wrong, she’d say no, and when you got it right, she would say yes and clap and cheer. It was the cutest shit I’d ever seen. I loved that little girl before she was born, but being in her presence now… all I could say was she was literally my heart in human form. I didn’t think there was a love that could mirror the love I had for Innvy, but the love I had for our daughter was certainly it.

It made me get teary eyed when I found out my parents were showing Innah pictures of me and telling her I was her daddy. That explained why she smiled when she saw me. Now, I was trying to get her to call me Daddy because her petty ass could say Ma. But she would say Ma and laugh hysterically. The closest we’d gotten was Duh and I was cool with that. At this point, I felt like she thought it was a game and wouldn’t say it even if she could because I would toss her in the air and tickle her when she said Ma.

My thoughts and affections for my girls carried me for the drive to Innvy’s favorite sushi spot. I grabbed two different kinds of sushi and the chicken katsu she used to eat once a week then took the short drive to her home. I saw her bitch ass neighbor checking his mail and chuckled. Apparently, he told her what happened between us. She was upset but he said it was his fault because he wasn’t prepared for the verbal sparring to turn physical, so he didn’t have a chance to defend himself. I respected his admission and would gladly give him the chance to square up again if he wanted to… though the end result wouldstillbe the fucking same.

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