Page 15 of Crave

“The planet where I mind my own fucking business. You should move there.” I turn my back and grab my coffee.

“What are you going to do? Remain like this for the rest of your life? You’ll only end up hurting yourself the most.” He tries to lay a hand on my shoulder again, but I shrug it away.

“I’m fine. Get off my back. You should go give this talk to Troy and Tracy, not me.”

“Troy’s not the one who called a pregnant woman a whore.”

“She is a fucking whore. Now drop it.”

“She made her choice, Jake. Acting out is not going to change that.”

“Thank you for the clarification, Dr. Dupree. Did you get that smart in medical school?”

“Keep being a dick, and I’ll kick your sorry ass.” He slaps me on the shoulder and steers me towards the living room. “Your ass has been spiraling since Friday night. You never bring strangers home. I should have been there to keep you on a short leash.”

“Fuck off,” I say it with a lot less hostility this time.

“I’m not here to lecture you, but it’s time you let this go, man. Find yourself a girl. You’re such a sap when you’re in love. Women love that. She can come over here, help you water that ginormous plant over there. What is that? A fern?”

“It’s a peace lily, you ignoramus.”

“Peace lily? Good. Give everyone some peace while you get yourself a piece. Get a woman to take care of this rainforest you call a house. She can sit on your couch and you can braid her hair or whatever boring shit you like to do.”

Sandy immediately comes to mind.

I looked for her after the fiasco with Troy, but she was gone, leaving me with nothing butmemories of our time together. Another thing Troy has taken from me.

Instead of making plans to see her later, or trying to track her down, I have to deal with JD lecturing me, and lord knows who else will be stopping by today.

“I’m not boring just because I prefer to live outside the city.”

“That’s the definition of boring. You live in a house in the suburbs. You decorate for Halloween.”

“Fuck off. The neighborhood kids love it.”

“My point is you just have to find a woman as boring as you.” The dark brown eyes filled with so many secrets, and the plump lips promise to be anything but boring. “I have a twelve hour shift soon. The least you can do is buy me a decent breakfast. Let’s go.”

I should stop and take a breath, but I don’t. I jog for much longer than I normally would. My lungs burn, and I feel the ache in my legs. My shins are begging me to stop, to pause and catch my breath, but I can’t. If I stop, I’ll think about last night. If I think about last night, I might have to admit I went too far, and that’s the last thing I want to do. I block out my thoughts and continue to run. I run until my body is coated in sweat, and I’m forced to take my shirt off in the chilly April New England weather. I run until my hair is dripping water, and my heart threatens to beat out of my chest. I push one foot in front of the other until my legs force me to slow down.

As I pass my house, the car parked in my driveway is the only thing that makes me stop. I shake the sweat out of my hair and walk up the long driveway. I let myself into the house, and instead of finding my father, I find an empty house.

I make my way through the living room and kitchen, grab a bottle of water and find him throwing a ball to the dogs in the backyard. He sees me through the sliding glass door, but he makes no move to come back inside. I stand there and watch him play fetch with the dogs. If he has something to say, he’s going to have to come to me, not the other way around. It’s not long before he comes inside, the dogs at his heels. He says nothing to me for some time, busying himself with getting water for the dogs instead.

“Sit,” he finally says to me.

I pour each of us a mug of coffee and join him at the round kitchen table and meet his brown eyes. Eyes that are void of their usual warmth.

“Explain to me what you were thinking last night, Jacob.”

“I’m not the one who threw the first punch, Dad. Why are you here giving me a lecture?” I rise from my seat at the table and start to walk away from my father and his judgment. I don’t make it far before I feel his hand on my shoulder as he spins me around. Dad might be in his mid-sixties, but he’s a giant of a man, tall with broad shoulders. He works out with a personal trainer weekly. He’s intimidating when he wants to be, but he doesn’t intimidate me.

“I said sit, Jacob! Don’t think you can walk all over me like you do your mother.” We eye each other for several seconds before I walk back into the kitchen.

“Son, I know you’re hurt and angry, but you can’t hold on to this shit for the rest of your life. You have to find a way to make peace with the way things are. You have—”

“Why is it that I always have to do shit? They get to ride off into the sunset, and I have to just accept it? I really don’t need this right now, Dad. I’ll come over later and apologize to Mom. I already got shit from JD. I don’t need it from you too.”

“Too fucking bad, Son. I’m here and we’re going to talk. I’m worried about you, Jake. So is your mother. It’s been five years.”

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