Page 38 of Crave

“I shouldn’t have hit you. Just please leave me alone.” Her voice is small, and I hate that I’ve done this to her.

I take a small step forward.

“I’m sorry, Dee.”

“Stop. Just stop.”

This time, when she shoves me, I take a step back. She takes that opportunity to climb inside the car and speed out of the parking lot.

I watch her leave, now more determined than ever to have her in my life.

The minute I climb into the driver’s seat of my car, JD attacks.

“Boy, you really know how to fuck a good thing up before it even begins, don’t you? I warned you. That girl is not just a face, man. She’s guarded, but when she opens up, she’s smart, funny and has kind of a wicked sense of humor. You know what she did? She ordered every appetizer on the menu and entrees for her sister, brother-in-law and their kids. And we had some good wine on you. She even ordered a bottle for a couple at the next table.” Hearing that they’ve been drinking, I start driving in the direction Sandy took off in, the opposite of where I need to go. She didn’t get far and is stuck at a red light. I’m also resentful that JD now knows more about her than I do.

“What are you doing?”

“Just following her to make sure she gets home okay. Why the hell did you let her drink if you knew she had to drive?”

“You’re something else, do you know that? And I don’t mean that in a good way. Don’t ever do some shit like that to me again. What the hell got into you? You were arranging roses and shit just hours ago.” I debate not telling him anything, but I decide to let it all out. The light turns green and I follow Sandy through the intersection.

“I fucked up. I let some shit get into my head. Remember Samantha from a few years ago?”

“The girl from Cape Cod? The weekend when Troy saved your ass from the DUI?”

“Yeah. I saw her when I went to Stop and Shop. She had a husband and a baby, and it brought that shit back. She called me toxic and told me that I’d destroy anything I’d touch. I didn’t want to hurt Sandy. The first thing my mother said when she saw her was that she’d be perfect for you. She never even considered me, so I let all of that shit fuck with my head.”

“You’re really stupid, you know that? Your mother tries to fix me up with every black woman she meets who’s under forty. As for you, you’ve made it clear to everyone who would listen that you’re not available. Your mother was respecting your wishes. So, now, not only do you let the shit that Troy and Tracy did control you, you’re letting some random chick from years ago control you too? That’s fine if that’s how you want to live your life, but don’t drag me into your shit.”

We sit in silence for the rest of the ride to Sandy’s house. I'm unable to find words to defend my actions and lost in my own head thinking about how I’m going to fix things. The ride from the restaurant to Sandy’s house is a short one, and soon we’re turning onto her street. She parks in her driveway, grabs the food she brought back from the restaurant, and cuts across the lawn of the duplex and walks right into her sister’s house.

“They don’t lock doors around here?” I mutter out loud. I stop and watch the house, unsure of what to do.

“I wouldn’t go in there right now if I were you.” JD doesn’t even bother to look up from his phone when he utters those words. “She’s too upset right now. Not to mention embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed? She told you that?”

“She thought she had a date with one guy, but that guy tries to pass her off to another guy. It’s not exactly rocket science, man. Get your head out of your ass.” I hang my head in shame at the thought of causing her embarrassment.

“I didn’t mean to embarrass her, JD.” I run my fingers through my beard and pull on it as I think of my next move.

“You don’t think sometimes, Jake. What the fuck goes through your head? If you changed your mind about her, you should have just canceled the date, not try to pass her off on someone else. Just leave the girl alone. Let’s go.”

I make no move to drive away as I sit in the car and stare at Tash’s house, willing someone to come out and invite us inside so I can explain.

“I fucked up.” I barely whisper the words, unsure if JD even heard me.

“Yeah, you did. Come on.”

Instead of driving away like I know I should, I pull over, park and continue to stare at the house.

“Don’t do it. I know you never listen to advice, but now is not the time for you to go in there. She’s too hurt and humiliated. I told your ass not to bring your baggage into this, but you never fucking listen.”

I don’t respond to JD right away, but for once I take his words to heart and pull away from the curb.

CHAPTER 9

SANDY

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