Page 54 of Crave

Chris was right, as usual. Jake’s feelings go beyond just not liking his sister-in-law. He’s been dealing with betrayal for years. Betrayal that’s thrown in his face every single day. He works with his brother, and even though he avoids them at his parents’ house, I’m sure there are times that avoiding them is not an option.

“I know you must have concerns,” he says, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“I do.”

“Tell me what they are.”

“My concerns aren’t important. How you deal with this is what’s important.” I continue to run my fingers through his hair and he instinctively pulls me closer.

“You’ve seen how I deal with it.”

“Well, if you want my opinion, that can’t continue. For your sake.”

“I know. I’m trying. I really am. I’m ready to let this go.” I kiss his temple and stroke his hair again.

“Why now?”

“Because it would be unfair to you to involve you in this mess.”

“Don’t make this about me.” I disentangle myself from his body and stand up. “This has nothing to do with me, and this,” I say as I gesture between us, “doesn’t have to be anything more than what it was. I can walk out of here, and we don’t ever have to see each other again.”

He stands up from the couch and comes to stand in front of me.

“Is that really what you want?”

“No, it’s not. I really like you, and that’s not something I say lightly, but if you’re not ready, you’re not ready.” I try to walk past him, but he blocks me in.

“Look at me.” I look up into his brown eyes. “I want to be with you, Sandy. That’s why I’m telling you everything.”

“This happened five years ago. Have you had any girlfriends since then?” I ask him.

“No.”

“You’ve been celibate until last night?” I ask in disbelief.

“No, Dee. One night stands on occasion.”

“Then why now, and why me?”

“There’s just something about you, Dee. From the moment I saw you talking to my mother, I felt this connection to you. I haven’t been able to stay away from you since.”

“Except you did,” I remind him, remembering the events of that night. “You left me standing in the middle of the dance floor, so you could go after your brother and his wife. I understand how betrayed you must feel, Jake, but I’m not going to put myself in a position where you lose it every time you see them. Your lives are too intertwined for you to ever get away from them. I told you before that I don’t like drama.”

“You want to know why I started that fight? Because he stabbed me in the back and ends up with everything. What did I end up with? Anger and bitterness.”

“But it doesn’t have to be that way.” I grab both of his hands in mine

“I know it doesn’t. I wasn’t ready to believe that, but I am now. Yes, I do need to end this for my sake, but I’ve never had a reason before. You’re my reason now. You think I want to carry around all of this hate and anger?”

“I don’t.”

“We can have something good here, Dee. This thing with Troy and Tracy—”

“You did love her once.”

“A very long time ago, I thought I did. It seems like a lifetime ago that I ever could have had feelings for someone capable of that.”

I don’t speak anymore. I simply nod and look out of the bay window. I turn my back to him, but he comes up and stands behind me, putting his arms around my waist and pulling my back to his chest.

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