Page 95 of Crave

“All you had to do was tell the hostess she made a mistake. Tell her you don’t have a wife, you’re here with your girlfriend. She would have apologized, and we could have just gone on with our lives. You didn’t have to make a scene. So, yeah, I’m not fine.”

“Dee, that’s my default when dealing with her. I know that’s a shitty excuse, but that’s how it’s been for five years. I’m trying, baby. I really am.” I lift our joined hands and kiss hers.

“If you love me—” she begins, but I quickly interrupt her.

“If? No ifs, Dee. I fucking love you.”

“Then shouldn’t I be enough for you to stop—” The loud shrieking of my phone silences her. I give her an apologetic look.

“It’s about the business trip. I have to take it.” She nods, and I reluctantly remove my hands from hers. The rest of the brief ride from the restaurant back to my office is spent with Sandy looking out her window and me talking on the phone.

She doesn’t bother to wait for me to open her door. She unbuckles her seatbelt and practically jumps out of the car. I end the call and walk around to where she’s standing.

“Hey. Come here.” I pull her to me, but hold her at arm's length, searching her face. “Are we fighting?”

For the first time since we arrived at that damn restaurant, she smiles.

“If you have to ask, then no. We’re not fighting.”

“Everything is fine?” I try my best to mimic her voice when I say the word fine.

“Yup.”

“I know I haven’t done the whole relationship thing in a while, but from my experience, when your woman is giving you one word answers, I’m smart enough to know something’s wrong.”

That must have been the wrong thing to say because her smile disappears as she pulls her hand from mine and crosses her arms over her chest.

“Your experience with Tracy? Is that what you’re talking about?”

“No,” I say slowly. “I’ve had other relationships.”

“Yeah, but that’s the one you can’t let go, right?” She spins on her heels and starts walking towards her car, leaving me no choice but to follow her. I grab her elbow.

“What the hell is going on, Dee? Why are you bringing up Tracy? I already told you I handled it all wrong at the restaurant. I’m sorry.”

She throws both hands up in the air, turns her back on me, and starts walking towards her car again.

“It’s fine,” she says.

I grab her elbow again and spin her around to face me.

“Stop fucking saying fine! You’re blowing this way out of proportion.”

“Yeah, I’m blowing it out of proportion. It’s all my fault. Imagine if I got this upset whenever Derek comes around, Jake. And I was never even in love with him.” She turns her back on me again and starts walking towards her car. I quicken my pace, pass her, and stand in front of her car door.

“That’s unfair, Sandra. I don’t do that. Since we got together, I’ve been cordial, but today I lost my patience with the hostess. I felt it was insulting to you, so I reacted.”

“Insulting to me? You have no idea. Move away from my car.”

“No! You’re acting ridiculous. And I’d really fucking appreciate it if you wouldn’t mention that Derek asshole.” I know my neck has turned red.

“Mentioning him bothers you? That’s funny, not to mention hypocritical. You don’t have to worry about him showing up at my mother’s house for Sunday brunch. And at least I don’t act like he’s the one who got away.”

“No, but you were the one who got careless and got pregnant by him.” I regret the words the minute they come out of my mouth. Her head rolls back as if slapped. She opens her mouth to speak but quickly shuts it. I see the tears pool in her eyes. I reach for her, but she puts her hand up, shaking her head.

“No.” Her voice is soft, and I know she’s seconds away from bursting into tears.

“I’m sorry, baby. God, I’m so sorry.” I take a tentative step towards her, but she pushes me away.

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