Page 58 of Cherish

I let myself imagine a world where the last few hours never happened. Where Natalie did not show up with a swollen belly and shatter my world. It’s just me and Jason again, in our little bubble of bliss and love that we’ve created.

“If it’s not?” I ask, wanting to hear the words.

“Then she’s out of my life for good. I’ll never see or speak to her again. It’s just you and me, angel, from here on out. I want you to move in with me, or if you’re not ready to leave this place, I’ll move in here. I just want to be with you every single day.”

A single tear falls down my cheek. I can’t even bother to wipe it away because I know it’s only the first of many.

“And if it is?” I can see the firm set of his jaw and the stiffening of his body. He’s preparing to tell me something I don’t want to hear.

“I can’t give up my kid, Alex. If it’s mine, we will co-parent. The three of us. I know it’s a lot to ask. I know it’s a fucked-up situation, but I want you to be a part of this.”

More tears fall, blurring my vision. I shrug out of his touch, and he takes the hem of his T-shirt and wipes my face.

“How naïve are you? Is this how that bitch was able to manipulate you all these years? Do you honestly think she’ll let me be a part of anything? No, she won’t!” I scream the last part in his face, reminded of everything I’ve lost in the span of just a few hours. I move away from him and storm out of my bedroom. Just as I’m putting on my shoes so I can get the hell out of this house and away from him, he grabs me and spins me around again.

“She won’t have a choice.”

“She’s going to spend the next eighteen years using that innocent child to manipulate you, Jason. That’s what’s in store for you. If she can’t control you, she’ll poison that poor baby against you. She will make me the villain, the reason why mommy and daddy can’t be together. She’ll lawyer up. She will do everything in her power to cut me out, so she can get the ultimate prize. You. I’m just a minor inconvenience. I’m nothing.”

“Wrong. You’re everything. Always have been. Always will be.”

I shake my head at him as more tears fall. “Jason, go home. You’re living in a fantasy.” I’m suddenly exhausted. I take my shoes off, no longer willing to cede my house. All I want now is my bed, but then the tears fall harder as I remember that’s the same bed where he held me on the anniversary of my mother’s death. That’s the day I believed that I could have a future, a family. I took him to my mother’s grave and introduced them. We sat on the grass, and he held me while I cried. He didn’t take his eyes off me the entire day.

“And you’re giving up on us for no reason. I’m not going to—”

“For no reason?” I yell, angry all over again. “You might be having a baby, Jason. A damn baby! What kind of fantasy world are you living in where you think that’s not a big deal? Go pick out names or cribs or whatever the hell it is expectant parents do. I’ll be here, alone, like always. Look around you! This is my life. I lost my mother. I’ve never met my father. For a small amount of time, I thought I could have some happiness with you. I was stupid enough to believe we could be a family, but guess what? That ain’t about to happen. You’re already going to be a family with someone else, leaving me out. That’s the story of my life. I had a mom, and she was taken away. I thought I had you and Mellie. I had this twisted fantasy that I would be part of your extended family. The dangerous fantasy where you, me, Sandy, and Jake would take vacations together and have kids around the same age. That’s dangerous for someone like me. Obviously, I’m meant to be alone, so go make plans with your baby mama! Get out!”

I attack him again, punching his chest and kicking his ankles. I stop the kicks because that only hurts my bare feet, but I keep raining hits on his body. He grabs both wrists and pulls me against him while I sob.

“Marry me!” My body freezes as I look up in his face, confused. “Let’s get married. We’ll go to city hall tomorrow.” He swings his wrist about and checks his Apple Watch. “We can get a marriage license and make it to the courthouse before I have to go to work. You’ll be my wife, my partner. This is how serious I am about you and me doing this as a team. It’s selfish of me to drag you into this, but I can’t do it without you, angel. I need you by my side. Please, baby.”

“You’re asking me to marry you because you’re afraid of losing me. I love you so much, Jason. If you had asked this a few hours ago, I would have happily said yes. But if I say yes now, it will be because I’m afraid of being alone.”

Instead of punches like the ones I just subjected him to, he rains kisses on top of my head and forehead. More tears fall. I cry hard as he cradles me against his chest for support. I’m still weeping when a clap of thunder brings back all of my fears and forces me to jump into his arms. He holds me against him as if I’m a fragile piece of glass he’s afraid will break and carries me back to the room. The rain comes pouring down, each sound of thunder louder than the one before. With just one hand, he turns down my bedspread and lays me down. Another bout of thunder has me screaming, but he’s on the bed in the next instant, holding me against him, soothing me with not just his strong arms around me, but with his words.

CHAPTER 38

JASON

“If it’s yours, which I doubt, you should just sue that bitch for full custody.” It’s not the first time Mellie has expressed those sentiments, but I can’t think of that right now. I can’t think of anything but Alex.

After crying for what seemed like hours, exhaustion took over. Despite not giving me a final answer to my proposal, I was relieved when she fell asleep. Even in her sleep she was restless. She tossed and turned and even cried until I calmed her by rubbing her back.

“Mellie, not now.”

“Listen to your sister,” Jake says.

“Oh my God. Don’t you have a new wife to go home to?”

“I do, so hurry up and get your head out of your ass.”

“I don’t need this from you two.”

“Bullshit!” Mellie hisses. “Why are you even here sitting down as if everything is fine? The sky is falling, Jason!”

“And what’s with this bullshit about giving her space? Get your ass over there now and get in her face, JD. She needs you fighting for her, not giving her space.” I give Jake a look, which would scare most people into shutting up, but he is not most people.

“Like I was saying,” Mellie says, “sue that bitch and get that baby away from her. You’ll have a wife, a stable home. You’re a surgeon for goodness sakes, and Alex looks like a Pollyanna. No judge in their right mind would hand over a baby to that psycho bitch.” I tune her out after that, but Mellie and Jake continue to talk at me.

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