“Francine.” He drops my hand at that, but he doesn’t move out of my way.
“How old are you?” I don’t answer him. I walk around him and run out of the restaurant, saying a rushed goodbye to Tina as I open the door. Luckily, he doesn’t follow me. I don’t think I breathe the entire walk to the hospital. As soon as I step inside, I find a bathroom and lock myself in the stall, taking several deep breaths to calm myself down.
I channel Tina’s words about me being strong and a fighter. When I step out of the stall, I splash cold water on my face. As I’m wiping the moisture with a paper towel, I look at my reflection, noting the similarities between my face and my mother’s. Everything’s the same except for our skin complexion and my nose.
I drop the paper towel in the trash and walk out. Head held high and chest sticking out, I make my way to my office, no longer dreading seeing my friends. I’m earlier than usual, knowing I would need some time before they barge in on me, but no amount of time would have prepared me for seeing Jason standing outside the office.
He hasn’t noticed me yet because he’s looking in the other direction, the direction I normally come from. I’d know his stance anywhere. The tallest person on the floor with broad shoulders. He looks down and types something on his phone, and I feel my phone vibrate in my purse. He makes a one-eighty turn and finally sees me. My footsteps falter as I look at him.
Tina was right. He looks horrible. His eyes are sunken, and his beard has grown longer than I’ve ever seen it. He’s not smiling, and his eyes are not playful as usual. His eyes leave mine as he looks over my body. Even with everything going on, my body becomes alive, and right now, at this moment, I want him. His body sags in relief, as if a ton of weight has been lifted off his shoulders, but when he looks at me again, it’s like a thundercloud blocking his usual light.
He doesn’t walk to me. He yanks the door to our department open and gestures for me to walk inside.
“Get in before I make a scene in this hallway.” I don’t move. I saw him angry the other night, but his anger has never been directed at me. “Now.”
I square my shoulders and walk inside, and he follows behind me, closing the door. Beth’s here and her door is open. Jason notices that too because he grabs my shoulder and takes me to the small kitchen on the opposite side of Beth’s office.
“Are you out of your goddamn mind, Alex? I’ve been going crazy for four days! Four fucking days, I had no idea where you were. Mellie had no idea, and neither did Ananda. I thought something happened to you, you know that! I was this close to filing a missing person report on your ass. The only reason I didn’t is because Beth told me you’d be taking a few days off.” I open my mouth, but he puts his hands up. “No, you don’t get to speak right now, because if you say anything ridiculous, I might just lose it on you. I get it. You’re angry. Hell, I’m angry, but I’ve never done anything to hurt you. All this shit is from before, and yes, it’s unfair of me to ask you to volunteer for this mess, but I am, Alex. I need you. I need you with me, and this running away and hiding ends right now. It ends. Yell at me. Cuss at me. Hit me, but don’t you dare run from me. And I’m not letting you go. You wanted time? You’ve had it. Now, I’m going to tell you what’s going to happen.” Surprised by his words, I widen my eyes and pull my head back as he continues with his tirade.
“I will get a paternity test. If the kid’s not mine, I’ll never see or talk to Natalie again. If the baby is mine, I’m going to share custody and you and I will parent the baby the best way we can, but what’s absolutely not going to happen is you walking away.” He comes closer and is pointing his finger at me. I slap his hand away.
“And just who the hell do you think you’re ordering around, Jason?”
“You, Alex!” he thunders while pointing a finger in my face, stunning me into silence. “I’m talking to you!”
I don’t stay quiet for long. “Last time I checked,” I say, finding my voice again, “I’m an adult. One who comes and goes as she sees fit. I needed some time, so I took some time. I don’t have to answer to you or anyone else, so you can stuff it.”
If I thought he couldn’t get any angrier, I was wrong. He steps away from me, turns his back and rubs the back of his head. When he faces me again, his gaze is practically murderous.
“Wrong.” He’s no longer yelling, but his quiet tone is even more dangerous than his shout. “I love you, Alex, and I know you love me. Put yourself in my shoes. If I just disappeared for four days, and you couldn’t get ahold of me. I was worried sick. I couldn’t sleep or eat. I could barely pull myself together just to be able to function at work. I thought I had lost you, but then I realized that losing you is not a possibility.”
He looks tortured now that he’s no longer yelling at me. The cornered animal look is gone, and what’s left are his haunting eyes. He’s still the same height and size, but he looks smaller to me right now.
“I’m sorry. Not about needing time, but about how I went about it. I wanted to punish you, Jason. You dangled this life in front of me, and now it’s gone. Put yourself inmyshoes.”
He rubs the back of his head, a nervous tic I’ve noticed he has.
His voice is more forceful than I’ve ever heard it when he speaks again. “Everything I promised you is still on the table. Family, vacations, holidays. Everything. Nothing has changed. Everything we talked about is still there.”
“Including a baby that’s not mine.” The room goes silent once I address the elephant in the room. He walks to me and takes both of my hands in his.
“That’s a possibility, yes. I’m asking you to do this with me. I can’t do it without you, Alex. It’s a lot to ask, but I’m asking.”
He reaches for me and I don’t pull away. He holds on to my hands, neither one of us saying a word. He squeezes my hands in his and smiles sadly at me. His eyes are sunken in, causing my heart to ache knowing I’m partly to blame for his distress. I smile back and kiss his hand. He lets out a strangled laugh at the gesture, and I watch as his shoulders sag in relief.
“Did you mean the other thing you said the other night?” I didn’t think he’d know what I was talking about, but he lets go of one of my hands and pulls something out of his pocket. He slams a box on the counter and drops down on both knees.
“Marry me, Alex. I love you so much. I need you so much. It’s been torture without you. Please, angel. Please.” In the middle of the tiny kitchen right off our office, he puts his head on my stomach, holding me close to him. I run my fingers over his head and down the back of his neck, stroking his soft skin.
“Stand up, Jason.” He does. He towers over me, looking into my eyes. “I was so scared. It was always my mom and me. And then she was gone. By some act of fate, we found each other. I fell in love with you right away, and then you introduced me to this whole other world. Your sister, your friends. I thought I could lose that. I won’t lose that. I love you, and this is just a curveball. We’ll deal with it. Whatever the test results, we’ll deal. So, I want everything you’ve promised me. My answer is yes. I will marry you.”
He doesn’t kiss me. He holds me so tight against his body; I don’t know where mine ends and his begins. Then I feel a vibration against my body. It takes me a minute to realize he’s laughing. He picks me up and spins me around the small space, laughing the entire time. His happiness is infectious, and I soon join him.
“Give her the damn ring, Jase! She’s going to puke if you keep spinning her around like this.” Uncaring that Mellie, Ananda, and Beth are watching, Jason puts me down. He finally kisses me while holding my face with both hands. The kiss is gentle and sweet, just like the man. He pulls away and opens the box, revealing a diamond solitaire with smaller diamonds on both sides. It’s a perfect fit as he places it on my finger. When we step out of the kitchen, the three women engulf us in hugs. Mellie and Ananda are crying as they admire the ring.
“You know he wouldn’t let me see it?” Mellie says. She lets out a loud whistle. “Damn, my brother has taste. And money, because this is huge.”
“The jeweler told me this is a halo diamond ring, which is perfect because you’re my angel.”