Page 71 of Cherish

“I love you, Jason. I’m yours. Always.”

“Me too, angel. Let me show you how much I love you.”

“What’s the matter, babe? You’re off in la-la land.”

“Hmm?” I ask as I pull on my pants. “Go back to sleep. It’s early.”

She sits in the middle of the bed and gestures for me to come to her. When I get there, she pulls me down in front of her and rubs my shoulders.

“You’re all tense. Do you have a big surgery scheduled for today? It’s like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.” She rubs the base of my neck, all the way down my back.

“The test results are back. They’ve been sitting in my inbox since before dinner last night.” The gentle ministrations of her hands immediately cease. I hold my breath as I wait for her to speak.

“You’ve known about this for over twelve hours and you didn’t say a word?” She moves away from me, her touch now a distant memory. “You said we would be a team. How the hell are we supposed to be a team when you keep things from me, Jason?”

She jumps off the bed and paces, her brow furrowed and one hand on her hip.

“We were having dinner with our family, Alex. I wasn’t going to bring it up there.” She opens her mouth to speak, but I speak first. “And when we got home, I wanted to be with you. I hadn’t seen you all day. I wanted to hold you against me one more time before things potentially changed.”

She reaches for her robe that was strewn against the bed and puts it on, pulling and tying the sash with a little bit more force than necessary.

“Open the email. I don’t want to go the rest of the day wondering. I need to know now.” She grabs my phone from the dresser and forces it into my hand.

The little bubble of bliss we were in a few minutes ago is a memory. With a shaky hand and a suddenly dry mouth, I open the phone and find the email. I take a deep breath before opening it. Beside me, Alex is as still as a statue. If I tried, I could probably hear her heart beating.

I put in my information, along with the passcode they gave me at the lab.

I scroll all the way to the bottom and read the words that will change my life forever.

CHAPTER 47

ALEX

The urge for a cigarette is strong today. The smoke of a cigarette in my lungs as the stress leaves my body when I exhale is something I need desperately. I’m so tense, my neck is hurting, but every time I move a muscle, Mellie’s eyes follow me.

Ananda is not too far away. They are watching me from both sides of the room, but I ignore them. I close my eyes and rub the bottom of my hands over my eyes, but no matter what I do, the words on the computer make zero sense.

All I can think about are the words I read this morning. Words I will never forget.

The alleged father cannot be excluded. I will think about those words and the numbers that followed for the rest of my life. Probability of paternity. Ninety-nine point nine. A bunch of nines.

My fiancé is having a baby, and it’s not with me.

I drop my head on my desk, numb to the pain to my forehead.

“Alex, you want me to get you some water?” Mellie’s usual in your face manner is absent today. She and Ananda have been tiptoeing around me, asking to do my bidding as they exchange worried glances and whispers when they think I can’t hear.

“Water won’t fix this.” I stand up abruptly and grab my coat from the coat hook adjacent to my desk. “You know what will, though? Vodka. Vodka fixes everything.”

I don’t give them a chance to speak. I don’t tell my manager I’m taking off an hour early. I simply grab my jacket and my purse and walk out of the office.

I know they both get up at the same time, but the door is shut before they can get to me. I ignore their calls, and luckily for me, the elevator door opens as soon as I step in front of it.

It takes me a full ten minutes to have the first vodka martini placed in front of me. It only takes two minutes for my glass to become empty.

I thought I had prepared myself for this, but I was unprepared to see those words, dashing my hopes. Damning me to a lifetime of dealing with Natalie and all the bullshit I know she’ll throw at us for the next eighteen years or longer.

I smile at the bartender as he puts my next drink in front of me. I take my time with this one as I look around the bar. There’s a couple in the corner, sharing the same seat in a booth. She has her head on his shoulder, and he kisses her forehead every few seconds. The scene is sweet and makes me miss Jason, but the last thing I need right now are kisses.

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