Page 19 of Make Me

I tell Aunt Mae about Candace coming out of his bedroom naked. She puts a hand on her chest, gasps, and says, “These young girls these days.”

“That just brought me back to reality. I don’t need or want any drama in my life, and I know she’s not going to go away quietly. I’m finally in a good place, you know? I don’t want to complicate it. I’m happy being alone. My life is mine and Ivy’s. I don’t want to have to answer to anyone. I can pay my own bills. I’m not giving up my independence for anyone, Aunt Mae. Freedom is priceless. And let’s be honest. The only adult I’ve ever had a good relationship with is you, and I’m fine with keeping it that way.” I cross my arms and shake my head to make my point.

She uncrosses my arms, grabs my chin, and tilts my head to look at her. “Oh, baby,” she says, shaking her head. “Your mama’s done a number on you—first by making you go back to Chicago and then forcing you to marry that fool. May he rest in peace,” she adds, crossing herself. “But I always knew that boy and his entire family were no better than trash.”

I nod my head sadly as she continues, “Not every relationship is going to be what you had with Brian. He’s dead, baby. Let him go. Your mom isn’t here. Don’t let her have any more power over you. Now, if you don’t like that Cooper boy, fine. Tell him to hit the road, but if there is any part of you that does, then you give yourself a chance to have a healthy relationship with a man. Trust me, it’s worth it when you find the right one.”

“And what if he’s not the right one? You were almost forty when you met Uncle Hank,” I remind her.

“I kissed a lot of frogs. Made a lot of mistakes, but they weremymistakes. Mine. Your mistakes were your mama’s doing. You were barely twenty-one years old, and you needed your mom’s comfort, not her pushing you down the aisle when you were barely old enough to drink.” My mother is Aunt Mae’s younger sister, and no one can get my aunt upset more than my mother.

“Aunt Mae,” I say, getting her attention. “I don’t want to talk about my mom right now.”

She raises both hands and nods in agreement. “Fair enough. What’s the harm in getting to know Cooper, Laci? In the future, if you decide you don’t like him, fine. But you just admitted to me that you do. Don’t write him off because of what other people did to you, okay.” She grabs my chin again and shakes it gently. “Promise Aunt Mae you won’t let your mama or Brian control you anymore.”

“It’s hard. I know that in my head, but my heart is a whole other story, Aunt Mae. It’s a constant struggle, but this really isn’t about them. I don’t think I’m ready. And what about Candace?” I ask her.

“I think you’re more scared than anything. Let me ask you something. Do you believe that Cooper broke things off with Candace?” She reaches over and runs a hand through my hair. She leaves her hand on my shoulder.

“I do,” I admit. “I don’t think he’d lie to me about that.”

“Then she doesn’t matter. He ended things, and before you came to town, I might add. If she tries anything, I’ll kick her ass all up and down this strip mall. So,” she says, holding on to one of my hands. “You believe Cooper. We both know this isn’t about Candace. And we’ve already established that you’re doing your best not to let your mama and Brian control you. So, what is it?” She cradles my face with both hands and holds me in place. I hold her gaze, but quickly look away. I pull my face away and sigh.

“Look at me.” I stand up and gesture at my body.

“I’m looking,” she says. “You’re as pretty as a picture. Always have been.”

“You’re my aunt, so you’re biased. I’m not sexy, Aunt Mae. I have wide hips, saggy tits, and a big ass. Cooper’s had Candace. I can’t compete with that, and to be honest, I don’t want to.”

Aunt Mae stands up straight and takes both of my hands in hers.

“Girl, I’d kill for your figure. And if you want to see saggy tits, I’ll show you mine.” Her words surprise me, and we start to laugh. She puts an arm around me, and we walk back to the register. “You are beautiful. Inside and out. Always have been.” I blush as I remember those are almost the same words Cooper said to me. “And your body is perfect the way it is. I’ll tell you a secret.” She leans closer and whispers, “A lot of men like big butts and wide hips. And I’m not even going to comment on Candace since we already said this isn’t about her.”

“But what if he decides I’m not worth it? What if he gets to know me and thinks I’m nothing, just like Brian did? Even my own mother—” Aunt Mae puts a finger to my lips and tells me to hush.

“Then he’d be the biggest fool who ever walked this earth. Trust me, Laci, no one who knows you will think that of you. You’re beautiful and simply amazing. Promise me you won’t hide and let life pass you by. Any man would be lucky to have you. You’re smart and beautiful with a killer body. And you are the best mom there ever was. You’re the total package, so promise me.”

I look into her eyes and nod. “I promise.” She practically pulls me into her arms and hugs me so tight. I feel my eyes fill with tears. This is what I’ve always wanted from my own mother. I will my tears away and wrap my arms around my aunt.

“I love you, Aunt Mae,” I whisper.

“I love you too, baby.” When she pulls away, she quickly wipes a few stray tears. “Now, get out of here and go get your daughter. I’ll see you on Monday.” I hug her again, this time resting my body on hers, absorbing her warmth.

Chapter 12

Laci

He was right.He came home very late last night. It was close to midnight when the familiar truck pulled into his driveway. Too chickenshit to walk across the front yard and talk to him, I stood in front of my window, peeking through the blinds. He came out a few minutes later with Sam. Like a coward, I watched through the window while he walked Sam right by my house. He had to pull on the leash to keep his dog from running to my door. After they left, I gave up and went to bed.

I haven’t seen him at all today. His truck was gone when I looked out the window this morning, and he hasn’t been back all day. I’ve had a great day, though. Ivy had a great time at the park, feeding the ducks the stale pieces of bread we brought. We even ran into one of her friends from daycare and had an impromptu playdate at the park. But nothing distracted me enough to stop me from thinking about Cooper.

Even now, as Ivy is running around in the yard while I grill chicken for our dinner, I’m thinking of him. My stomach drops at the memory of his face when I told him that lie yesterday. Aunt Mae is right, and I refuse to hide. But I’m still afraid. Afraid of rejection.

A thick layer of clouds has covered the sun, and the hot summer day has turned cool. The wind has picked up in the past hour, and Ivy shrieks in delight when the wind hits, making her stumble.

She runs some more, lies on the grass, and rolls around. Just as the chicken is finished cooking, I hear a clap of thunder. Almost immediately, the temperature drops several more degrees, and the strong wind causes the awning above to angrily beat against the side of the house. I quickly put the chicken on a plate and turn off the grill.

“Ivy!” I yell, right before we are both startled by a clap of thunder. Ivy looks up at the sky, opens her arms, squeals, and starts to spin around. Knowing she’d never come in on her own, I run down the few steps, grab my spinning child, and run to the deck. I barely have time to grab the chicken and walk through the sliding glass door before the sky opens and the heavy rain crashes against the house.

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