Page 35 of Make Me

“Mama! Daddy! My kitty!” She hops off the chair and runs to us with the cat in her arms. “I gonna name her Midnight,” she declares. She holds the cat out toward me, and I take it from her. The rest of the kids follow, eager to see the new pet, and when they crowd around me, I temporarily forget our unwanted guests.

When I look up again, Ivy’s in Cooper’s arms and my mother and Doris are in a heated discussion. Aunt Mae grabs my mother’s arm and pulls her away. That’s when Doris goes around her and goes to Ivy.

“I’m your grandmother.” Doris tries to take Ivy from Cooper, but Ivy sticks her face in Cooper’s neck and Cooper steps back. I drop the cat, and Jackie, who must sense the tension in the room, directs the kids back to the kitchen. She grabs Ivy from Cooper and flees.

I go and stand directly in front of Doris. Her dark eyes are like little slits shooting fire at me. She raises her hand again, and before I can grab her wrist, Cooper does.

“I’ve never hit a woman before. Don’t force me to change that.” Cooper’s voice is low, and when he shoves her wrist, she stumbles back.

I step in front of her and slap her hard across the face. She stumbles and bumps into the wall. My mother looks at me, stunned, and before she can react, I slap her across her face too.

Taken aback, she grabs her cheek and looks at me wide eyed. I grab the bag from my mother, open the door, and throw it out. I grab her wrist and physically pull her out of my house. Doris quickly follows before I get a chance to grab her too, but I still manage to shove her when she steps outside. I follow them with Cooper shadowing me, and he closes the door behind us.

“Haven’t you done enough to me, Mother? You had to come here after I told you I wasn’t ready to talk to you. And you had to bring her?” I say pointing at Doris.

“I’m your mother, Laci. I didn’t raise you to shack up with some man like a common whore,” my mother says. Doris nods in agreement.

“Oh, that’s rich. I’m not the least bit surprised that you’re a hypocrite.” In a craze, I take a step closer to her, but she backs up, afraid of me for the first time in her life. “Tell me, Mother. Who is my father?” When she stays quiet, I add, “Who’s the whore now?”

“Honor thy mother,” Doris reminds me.

“Shut up,” I hiss before I turn back to my mother. “And who the hell are you to come in here and judge me?” I ask through clenched teeth. “Who the hell are you, really, Mother? You have no fucking idea who you are. As soon as you get a new man, you change. You’re like a chameleon, ready to become whoever to please the man in your life. Your boyfriend doesn’t want a kid around? Great. You send me here with Aunt Mae. He dumps you, and you get a new one. You drag me back to Chicago so I can be a glorified babysitter for his kid. You find some religious zealot, and you force me to marry a man I don’t love because it’s what your new man wants. That’s who you are. An empty woman who has no mind of her own.” My mother makes a choking sound. She opens her mouth and leaves it hanging. Tears pool in her eyes, but I’m not done. In a blind rage, I step closer to her. I pick up her gift bag and slam it against her chest with enough force to knock her on her ass.

Cooper grabs my hand to stop me, but I yank my hand from his and continue my approach on my mother. I haul her from the ground, and when she stands on wobbly legs, I shove her down again, surprising her.

“This is the last thing I will ever say to you, so you better listen well. You will not contact me ever again. After today, you can forget you have a daughter and granddaughter. You are cold and empty inside. I came to you for support, and you threw me to the wolves, you selfish bitch,” I yell. “Get out of my life.” My mother finally manages to stand up, but she doesn’t run away like she should. She looks at me with tears running down her face.

“I thought I was doing the best thing in the situation,” she whispers. “I thought I was doing right by you.”

“Bullshit,” I tell her. “You’re a damn liar. If I thought even for a second that was true, I might find it in my heart to forgive you. You did what was best foryou. For your image. You’ve never given a damn about me because if you did, you would have been the mother I needed. And why are you here really? What did they dangle in front of you? I know your husband left you. Maybe he realized what I already know. That you’re empty and incapable of loving anyone, not even yourself.”

She lets out a choking sound and starts to weep. She looks at Aunt Mae, who only crosses her arms and nods in agreement with me.

“And you,” I say, turning to Doris, who is now backing away from me. I step toward her and point a finger in her face. “If I ever see you again, I’m going to kick your bony ass, and then, I’m going to let Cooper deal with you. You no longer have a son, and you don’t have a granddaughter. As soon as she’s old enough, I’m going to tell her exactly who you are.” When Cooper steps forward, Doris gasps and runs away.

I let out a breath once they’re gone. I put both hands on my knees and wait for my heart to calm down. Cooper puts a hand on my shoulder, and I tense, unable and unwilling to look at him. Aunt Mae walks down the stairs, and she opens her arms to me. I run to her and let the tears fall. She rubs my back, but the rubbing stops much too soon.

“I’m proud of you, baby. You’re like a lioness protecting your cub. Let Cooper be here for you,” she whispers so that only I can hear. She lets me go and walks back inside. As soon as she’s gone, Cooper takes both of my hands and kisses them. Then, he pulls me into his strong, broad chest.

The tears that I thought I was holding in come rushing out, pouring out of my eyes and onto his shirt. He kisses my temple and soothes me, but the tension won’t leave my shoulders. The world and life I thought I left behind just raised its ugly head, and if Cooper and Aunt Mae weren’t here, I don’t know what I would have done.

“I’m sorry you had to see that, Cooper.” He pulls away, but I can’t find the strength to meet his eyes. Despite knowing that I need to be happy for my daughter’s party, I can’t help the hunch of my shoulders and the defeat in my heart.

“Don’t ever apologize to me for something like that.” When I still refuse to look at him, he gently holds my chin and forces me to look at his face. “You didn’t cause any of that, but Laces, you’re a mama bear. You protected our Ivy so fiercely. I’ve never loved you more. You just did for Ivy what your mother never did for you.” He holds me to him, shielding me from the cold. “Let’s go back inside.” He puts an arm around me, and we walk back inside the house.

You’d never think there was an ugly scene just minutes ago. The living room is littered with wrapping and tissue paper. Ivy is in the middle of the room doing her best ballerina moves while Aunt Mae records the entire thing on her phone. Jackie and Margie are throwing away left over food, but when Jackie sees me, she drops the trash bag and pulls me into her big bosom.

“Do you need me to go outside and finish what you started?” I look at her, shocked by her words. For the first time since my mother crashed the party, I smile and hug her back.

“Thanks, Jackie,” I say.

“Don’t thank me. We’re all a family around here.” She squeezes me one last time and goes back to cleaning my kitchen.

When the bell rings again, I tense, but Cooper tells me to stay put, and he goes to get the door. I exhale in relief when I see a little boy from Ivy’s daycare class. He’s holding the hand of a tall, blond man, and when he sees Ivy and the rest of the kids, he says, “My daddy,” as he points to the man.

“My daddy,” Ivy says, pointing at Cooper. The man comes over and shakes Cooper’s hand before he shakes mine. Jackie calls him by name, and he goes into the kitchen for a beer.

I haven’t breathed since Ivy said those words, but Cooper didn’t so much as flinch. Right now, he’s smiling and laughing at Sam running away from the new cat. The cat that he went and bought, surprising even me with it today. He told me he’d keep the cat at his house until we move in, knowing full well Ivy would want her cat with her.

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