Page 25 of Takedown

14

I take a deep breath, but I don’t turn away from her. She smiles at me, but I don’t smile back.

“I’m going to mop the water now. Be careful if you need to go into the kitchen.” I turn around and walk away. I pull the mop from the small closet behind the pantry and start to mop the water.

“Melanie,” my mother says from behind me. “I was hoping we could talk.” I mop the floor with more effort than necessary. I can’t remember the last time I was alone with my mother, and even now, I feel uneven, like I’m floating above my body, but not in a good way.

After her conversation with my aunt, our relationship has gone only two ways. Either we argue or I ignore her. The latter being the case more so since I moved to Boston. I ignore her calls, and only do the bare minimum. Sending a card on her birthday or signing my name to whatever gift Jason sends for Mother’s Day.

For years she doubled down, and any mistakes I made, she’d highlight, almost as if I was proving her point. It used to hurt, but now it’s like a stab wound that’s healed. The pain is gone, but it’s scarred and numb to the touch.

“I can’t talk right now,” I say. “Addy and Adam are waiting for me.” She walks over and opens the blinds. I smile when I see Addy on Adam’s shoulders while he runs around the yard in the falling snow.

“Right. Your husband. Listen, whatever this is,” she points at Adam. I brace myself and wait for the insult. “It’s obviously an act. Did you two get drunk and get married? I wouldn’t put it past you to put on this act just to get away from me. I’m not buying whatever you’re selling.” I pause halfway through pushing the mop around on the now dry floor.

There’s no way Jason told her that, and I know Alex didn’t, so I school my features before looking at her again. “Why? Because no sober man would want to be with me? And why would I need to pretend to be married to get away from you? That makes no sense.”

She exhales and breaks eye contact, but she steels her spine and looks at me again. “I didn’t mean it like that, Melanie.” She puts a hand to her forehead as if she’s doing her best to calm down. “Why do you twist everything I say and make it into an insult?”

I let out a snort and say, “I think you know why.” I walk past her, put the mop away, and walk to the door.

“That was a private conversation that I never meant for you to hear. I was venting to my sister. Don’t you vent to Jason or Alex? People talk. They say things. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“The problem is that I did hear it, and you can’t erase it. It’s fine. Let’s not try to be something we’re not. I’m fine with who I am, and if you’re not fine with me, that’s not my problem. I accept that. It’s not my goal in life to become someone you like.” I reach for the doorknob, so ready to leave this conversation behind, but she walks fast and grabs my free hand.

Other than a few awkward hugs when we’re together, I don’t remember the last time she touched me. I pull my hand away as if burned.

“I’ve made mistakes, Mellie. I admit that. I know I’ve hurt you, and part of the reason why I’m here is to try and fix things between us.”

I let out a humorless laugh. “We both know that’s not true. Jason told me why you’re really here, and it has absolutely nothing to do with me.” She looks away as if ashamed, and for a split second, I feel bad for her. I know what it’s like to make mistakes.

“Before things took a turn with the house, I was planning on coming here. I want to be close to my children and grandchildren. There’s really nothing for me in New Jersey.”

I can hear the hopefulness in her voice, but then my mind goes back to the morning of my high school graduation, and I don’t know how I can ever recover from that. I don’t know why she wants us to recover now. There was never an apology beyond not meaning for me to hear her private conversation, but when your worst fears are confirmed, you can’t turn back time. I always suspected that was how she felt about me, but to hear her so callously say those words to her sister is a hole that can never be filled.

“I’m sure Jason and his family will love having you here. As for you and me, don’t bother.” There’s nothing but silence after my statement. I don’t look back. I open the door and walk out.

15

“Again!” Addison orders, so I do what any good uncle would do. I run around the yard with her on my shoulders while she sticks out her tongue to taste the snowflakes.

I’m distracted because Mellie’s been inside longer than I thought she would. I run to the back steps, ready to check on her, but she comes out. She has a smile on her face, but I can tell it’s fake. She pulls her hand out of her pocket and reveals a handful of buttons.

“Snowman!” Addison yells again, and I put her down. She runs to the middle of the yard and starts to make snowballs.

“You okay?” I ask my wife, taking a step closer to her.

She nods but won’t meet my eyes. “Yeah,” she says while trying to step around me, but I step closer to her. I hold onto her chin. I can see sadness in her eyes, but she blinks as if that would remove her sorrow.

“Did you see your mom in there?” I ask, ready to go inside and undo whatever her mother might have said.

“Yeah. It’s fine. It’s bound to happen since she lives here now.” She starts to walk away, but I hold her wrist. “God, I hate that she’s here.”

“Let’s move.” I repeat the same words I said last night and hope she’ll agree. “That way, you won’t have to worry about seeing her every time you step out of here. We can get a house, or get another apartment. Whatever you want.”

Her eyes widen at my words, and her mouth opens. I can practically hear her mind spinning. I shouldn’t have come on so strong about getting a house so soon.

“I don’t want to involve you in my family drama, Adam,” she says.

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