Page 80 of Take Two

We’re alone seconds later, and I sigh in defeat. Today is just not my day. “I thought you’d be in Tuscanyby now,” I say. “I really like the idea of us being on two different continents.”

Since I fired the first shot, I expect him to respond in kind, but all he does is smile. That makes me even more depressed because he looks so much like Charlie when he smiles.

“The trip’s been delayed.” He puts the vase on my desk and I eye it. They’re beautiful, and there must be two dozen of them. “That’s for you. Apology flowers. My wife says yellow roses mean friendship.”

“In that case, I suggest you give them to a friend.” That was bitchy even though he deserves it, but despite what I tell myself and what I told Charlie, those things he said about me sting.

“Can we talk in private?” he asks, and when I gesture around the office, he says, “Upstairs. Please.”

“Why? You want to check under my bed this time?” When all he does is grin, I say, “Fine. Follow me.” He takes the flowers and follows me outside the gym and into the elevator. We don’t speak at all. After we get inside my apartment, he puts the flowers on my counter. I open the fridge, grab two bottles of water, and give him one.

“I want to apologize again for what happened a few days ago. I told Charlie I’d make it right with you, and that’s why I’m here. Look, I was a jerk, but I’ve spent a lot of years worrying about him and those words were spoken out of fear. It really has nothing to do with you, but that doesn’t excuse anythang. I—”

“You say it wasn’t about me, but you were talking aboutme. You don’t trustme. You think I’m going to cause Charlie to relapse. All of those things you said were about me, so please don’t stand here and say otherwise.”

“Let me explain. What I meant was—”

I hold my hand up and interrupt him by saying, “I find that a little odd because you had no trust issues with me before Igot involved with your brother. You let me in your home. You were fine with me being close to your wife. I’ve been around your children, but as soon as you learn about me and Charlie, I become untrustworthy. More than that, you accusedmeof being a schemer, which makes no sense at all given how I met your family. And you’re right. It hurts because all I’ve ever done is care for your brother. But you know what, your opinion of me doesn’t matter because I know who I am. So, I accept your apology because I promised Charlie that you and I won’t have a problem, unless you bring a problem to me,” I warn. “If you do that, I’m gonna handle it. If not, we’re good.”

“So, we’re friends?” he asks.

“No, because I don’t like you,” I toss out. “You cantrustthat.”

I expect him to scowl or storm out of my apartment. I expect that to be the end of it, and that any interaction we have after this will be a little awkward, but cordial, but that’s not what happens. He gives me a smile that looks so much like Charlie’s, and instead of walking out of my front door, he grabs a stool at the kitchen island and sits. His legs are too long for them to fit underneath the island, so he swings them around.

“Is it safe to assume that you didn’t grow up in a home with someone with substance abuse problems?” he asks.

“I didn’t,” I admit. My parents drank socially. We had parties, and there was always alcohol present. I even snuck drinks as a teenager, but no one in my immediate family ever had a drinking problem.

Colt Chastain has the audacity to gesture for me to sit in my own home. “Please,” he says when I just stand there and stare at him. Eager to have this over with, I take the stool as far away from him as possible. “Charlie said he told you everythang,” he says, and I nod in confirmation. “Well, it affected the wholefamily. It consumed us. There have been times when he’s been sober before. Sometimes it would be three months. One time it lasted an entire nine months, and I was so hopeful that time, but it didn’t last. He went to a bar one night with some old drinkin’ buddies, promisin’ he wouldn’t drink. I begged him not to go. When begging didn’t work, I threatened to cut him off, but he didn’t listen. He said he had it under control. He went and he drank. When I confronted him about it, he got mean and violent.”

I sit up and bristle, ready to defend Charlie because the man I know and love couldn’t be mean even if he tried, but I bite back my sharp words. I don’t know that version of him, but he’s told me about him.

“I imagine it was hard for all of you,” I admit before I purse my lips shut, unwilling to say anything negative about Charlie.

“It was. This started when I was sixteen. When he fell off that tree and broke his leg, the life of our entire family changed. He went from happy and hopeful to angry and bitter. It was like walking on eggshells being around him, especially when I was recruited by Alabama. This version of Charlie that you know is what he was like before that day. Only younger and less mature, but this man, he’s just like my daddy was.” He smiles wistfully. “That’s the brother that I grew up with. The one that I love. The one I’ve missed. This is the version of him I want to keep around always. I know I’ve made mistakes with him too. I wonder if cutting him out of my life was the right thing to do, but at the time, I thought it was. I thought that would be his wake-up call, but now I’m not so sure. Maybe that caused him more distress. Now, imagine having him back for three years, and everything is great. Then you’re thrown a curveball.”

I arch my eyebrows at him. “I’mthe curveball?”

“Yes. A woman. A romantic relationship. The thing that either completes us or sends us spiraling into the pits of despair.” I roll my eyes and wave him off. “Bear with me. My wife claims I’m dramatic.”

“Wherever would she get that idea?” I ask, smiling at him for the first time.

“And Mama says I’ve now turned into the man who can’t go five minutes without sayin’ my wife.” He laughs. “Don’t tell my wife I mentioned my mama. Anyway, I was scared that if thangs didn’t work out, or if you broke up with him, he’d soothe himself by drinkin’, and the past three years would go out the window. That’s what you heard. My fear, and I know it sounded like it was about you, but it wasn’t. Vickie says I projected my fear onto you, and you’ve done absolutely nothing to make me not trust you. But I love my brother, Violet. Maybe that love comes out as bossy or controllin’, but it’s love. He loves you, and I believe you love him too. He told me what you did.” He looks into my eyes, and I wait for him to explain, but he doesn’t.

“What did I do?” I ask, totally confused.

“You told him you weren’t going to drink anymore so you could be a safe space.”

I feel a blush spread across my face. “I don’t want to beasafe space. I want to behissafe space. And I didn’t do that for a pat on the back. I did that because that’s what he needs.” I shrug. “And don’t be weird about it. It’s nothing, and I wish he didn’t tell you because the idea of suddenly becoming trustworthy or acceptable by you now because I’ve done this thing pisses me off. We do things for the people we care about. If this is something that makes him feel safe in an unsafe world, and I’m able to give it to him, I will. I don’t judge him. He has his issues. We all do, and he’s doing the best that he can to be healthy. That’s all we can ask of him.”

“What you did is not nothing. It’s everything. It’s beyond generous. We can all be generous when it doesn’t cost us anything. What you’re doing is selfless. It’s love.”

“That’s because I do love him. I want him to be healthy and happy because I love this version of him. I love the man I know. Look, you’re right. I get that you have different experiences with him. He told me about that. He’s not perfect, and the alcohol made him do things he’s ashamed of, and I know most of it was directed at you,” I reluctantly admit. “But I think we want the same thing. For the record, I’m not going to walk away from him, but I don’t think he would drink again if I did. He has too much to lose. He doesn’t want to hurt his mom or lose you, Vickie, and the boys. He loves you guys so much, but he also loves his sobriety and everything that has brought him. He understands his weaknesses, and he's determined not to let them overtake him again. He figured all this out before he met me. He’s not going to throw it away.”

He stands and so do I. He smiles again and lets out a breath of relief. “Really?” he asks. “He’s said all of that to you?”

“He has, and maybe it’s easier for him to open up to me this way because I’ve never seen the other side of him. You should see me as another person who loves and supports him.”

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