Page 86 of Take Two

“I know,” is all I say. “What can I do for you, Holly?” Saying her name sounds odd, and even though I haven’t done anything wrong, I feel as if I’ve somehow betrayed Violet.

“Are you around? I need to talk to you,” she says with a trembling voice. The memories I have of her don’t include nerves.

“I’m not. I’m out of town,” is all I say. “And I’m sober now. I don’t—”

“I am too,” she says, cutting me off. “This isn’t about that.”

“Then what is it?” I ask, losing some of my patience. This weekend is about me and Violet, not about my past, which is littered with nothing but bad decisions. The last thing I want to think about are my past mistakes with my future only a few feet away.

“I’d rather say it in person.” I think back. I barely remember what Holly looks like other than she has dark hair and dark eyes with pale skin.

“That’s never going to be possible, and I’m not going to take any more of your calls. That part of my life is over, and I don’t associate with anyone—”

“I had a child,” she says, and I feel as if the ground has opened up and will swallow me whole. I don’t respond. I stand there, barely breathing as I wait to hear what she says next. “A daughter.”

“Okay,” is all I can think to say. There are more questions I need to ask. More questions I should ask. How old is she? Am I the father? But those words get stuck in my throat. I refuse to ask. I think back. I know there was sex. I don’t remember any of it, and I don’t know if protection was used. Once I got sober, I was tested for STDs and was clear. Violet was the first person I’vebeen with since I stopped drinking. In a way, she was my first because I remember every experience with her. I live for our times together. What I don’t need is the shit from years ago creeping into my life now.

“Is that all you have to say? Okay?”

“What else, Holly?” That’s the closest I’m going to get to asking if the kid is mine.

“I don’t know if she’s yours,” she admits. I let out a breath. That’s not exactly what I want to hear, but there’s a chance that my life won’t get blown up to hell. “I can’t find the other guys, so I need you to get tested.”

“How many other guys?” I ask.

“Two or three. I don’t know,” she admits. “Look, I’m trying to do what’s right for my kid, and you have a restaurant now. Not to mention your brother—”

“You’re after money?” I ask.

“I’m after giving my daughter a halfway decent fucking life!” she yells. That’s another thing I remember. She always yelled, and the drunker she was, the more belligerent she became. I hear her take a deep breath, then she softly counts to ten. “I didn’t mean to yell. I’m still working on that. I’ll send you a picture. Please get in touch with me so I can have some answers.” The call ends, and all I can do is stare at the screen.

It vibrates seconds later with a text message. I open it, it’s a picture of a toddler. She looks to be about three, which would match the timeline, but she looks nothing like me. The child is blonde and has very pale skin. Her eyes are blue. My hair is dark and curly, and my eyes are brown.

Holly Smith: Her name is Charlene

I shut the phone off and slide it into my pocket, knowing damn well I need to be available in case the restaurant manager needs to get in touch with me, but I don’t give a damn about any of that right now. I leave the locker room, uncertain of what I’m supposed to do. Unsure of how my life has unraveled in less than a day. Yesterday was full of optimism. I was with the woman I love, and she was with me. We made love and talked and laughed and touched. We were up until after one in the morning, naked, and wrapped in each other’s arms.

There’s still half an hour until yoga is done, and Violet has to work for about an hour until she’s free for the rest of the day. I turn my phone back on long enough to send her a text.

Me: Going to see Colt. I’ll see you back at your place soon.

I add a kiss emoji and leave the gym. When I get to Colt’s, he has the boys literally on him. Evan’s on his back, and Johnny is wrapped around one of his legs.

“Unco Tarley.” Johnny runs to me. I pick him up, toss him in the air, and kiss his cheek. After I put him down, I do the same to Evan.

Colt eyes me, and he must sense my mood because he says, “Evan, take your brother into my room and watch cartoons.” Evan does as he’s told. He takes Johnny’s hand and the two of them leave us alone. “What happened?” he asks. I expect him to come and smell me, but he doesn’t.

I take out my phone, turn it back on, and show him the picture of the little girl. He stares at it, shrugs, and hands me back the phone. I shut it off again. “Who’s that?”

“Remember Holly?”

“No,” is all he says, so I tell him everything. I tell him how she was the closest thing to a girlfriend I had before Violet. I explainwe were intimate, though I don’t remember it at all. I tell him how we weren’t exclusive. Then I drop the bomb.

“She says she might be mine. Her name is Charlene,” I whisper, and all the air goes out of the room. Colt’s eyes widen and his mouth opens. He crosses his arms and takes a step back before he runs his hands over his face.

“First, that’s not the end of the world. If she’s yours, you have a child. So what? I mean, it sucks you missed out on three years, but it doesn’t have to change anythang with you and Violet. I know that’s what you’re worried about.”

“You’re damn right, I’m worried about it. I don’t want to lose her. We already have all this long distance between us. We live a thousand miles apart. She has a business and so do I. Now this? What if it becomes too much? What if she doesn’t want to share the little time she has with me with a child? Who could blame her?”

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