Page 92 of Take Two

“You will if I kill you,” I tease. Dad’s thankfully quiet until he pulls into the arrival section of the airport. He jumps out of the car and retrieves my carry-on from the trunk.

“Be safe,” he says while hugging me. “I love you.” He pulls away, cups my face, and kisses my forehead like he did when I was a kid. “Talk some sense into Charlie or I’ll have to take matters into my own hands. No one wants that.”

Chapter 50

Charlie

“Are you okay, honey?” Mama asks me for about the tenth time today. “You’re not nervous about seeing Violet tonight are you?” She leaves the stove, puts a hand between my shoulder blades, and sets a glass of lemonade in front of me. Four years ago, I would have waited until she turned her back, and I would have poured about a cup of vodkain it.

This week is the closest I’ve come to wanting to take a drink in years, and I had to dig deep within myself to fight the urge. Getting blind drunk has always been my coping mechanism. I’d drink because I’d want to forget. It always worked. I’d pass out and give myself a temporary reprieve, but all the ways I’ve screwed up would come rushing back the instant I opened my eyes.

Wash, rinse, repeat. I can’t do that anymore. I’ve lost enough, and I have too much to lose now. Before, I had nothing, and I knew Mama would never abandon me. In the back of my mind, I knew Colt would be there too, even if it was through Mama. If I take a drink now, I could lose everything, including the love of my life.

I can survive losing the business, but not my family or Violet.

But you might lose her anyway. I check my phone, but I refuse to let myself believe that.

Really? Because things have always come so easy to you?

No. Everything I’ve tried to attain, I’ve lost. Maybe Violet came into my life too easily. She was the first woman I met after deciding to start dating, and she’s perfect. How could I possibly be that lucky on my first try?

I check my phone and there’s no email from the lab. There’s a text from my sponsor reminding me to breathe and to call her again if I need her. She’s the only other person who knows, and she’s been in touch with me more than usual since I dropped the news. The meeting this morning helped too. It was a reminder that there’s no way I want to lose all the years of hard work only to start over. I’ve come too far.

With shaking hands, I pick up the glass and bring it to my lips. It’s tangy just the way Mama knows I like it.

“Thanks, Mama,” I say to her. She touches my shoulder again, and I put my hand on hers.

“What’s going on? You’re a nervous wreck, Son?” Then she gasps, drops her hand, and pulls the chair next to me. “Are you proposin’ this weekend?” She puts both hands to her cheeks. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I put thoughts of marriage on the back burner when Holly called and blew my world apart. I need to figure this out before I can ask her to spend the rest of her life with me. It might not only be me anymore.

“No. At least not yet,” I say.

She scowls in disappointment. “Then what’s wrong? Is the distance gettin’ to you?” I put the cold glass to my forehead and take a deep breath. “Are you sick?” She checks my glands, and I move away.

“I feel fine,” I tell her. “Just some stuff I have to talk with Lettie about.”

“Oh good,” she says, smiling now. She holds out her hand to me, and I take it. She puts it on her face. “You don’t have to wait, Charlie. If it feels right, do what you need to do to be with that girl full-time. If you’re worried about me, I’m thinkin’ it might be time for me to spend half the year here and half in New York. I love it there, and I want to be around my grandkids. I want to watch them grow up. The restaurant will be here, and you can come back once a month to check on it. You’ve done a great job with it, and you’ll continue to do so, but it’s a thing. Violet is a person, and you need each other.”

She pats my hand as if everything is settled.

“I know,” is all I say.

I’ve thought of all that. It makes more sense for me to move. Violet’s client base won’t be so easily reachable here, and in the past month since I’ve been back, I realize I’m happier in New York City than in Birmingham. There are so many ghosts here. Each time I drive by my old high school, I’m reminded of whatI’ve lost. When I was away this summer, I didn’t think about that nearly as much.

“Good,” Mama says. “We’ve had so much sadness in this family. It started when your daddy passed.” Dad had a massive heart attack when I was sixteen. He said goodbye to us that morning, and he was gone a few hours later. That was the beginning of the end for me. “You. Colt has had his fair share. It’s our time now, Son,” she says.

“It is, isn’t it?” I say. It should be. It should be my time. But maybe getting a woman like Violet came too easily to me. Maybe I’m not supposed to be happy. Maybe I’m supposed to suffer. What better way to suffer than to have your happiness snatched away from you? Violet will be replaced by the toxic mess that is Holly. She’ll use that little girl to get her way. I look at Mama, and she’s smiling sadly at me. She looks like she did when I was a little kid, and she would give me a pep talk to make me feel better. The only difference now is that she has a few crow's feet around her eyes and mouth. “You’re the best mom in the world. Did anyone ever tell you that?”

She lets out a laugh and tears stream from her eyes at the same time. She leans over and hugs me. “You and your brother make it easy.”

I let out a good belly laugh. She laughs too.

“Maybe Colt, but definitely not me,” I say. “I love you for saying that though,” I tell her.

“It’s true, and I love you too.” She takes my hand and kisses the back of it. “I have something for you. Give me a minute.” She leaves me in the kitchen and returns a few short moments later. She sits next to me.

“Put out your hand and close your eyes.” When I do, I feel a small box in my hand. Even with my eyes closed I know what itis, and I’m proven right seconds later. I open the box, and in it is the diamond ring my dad gave her when he proposed.

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