Page 95 of Take Two

She’s no longer in the bedroom when I return, but I hear her downstairs. I dress quickly and go to her. She’s in the kitchen standing by the coffee maker. She’s in a short robe and has her hair in a messy bun. Her back’s to me and the atmosphere in the kitchen is heavy. She would have been in my arms by now, but she still hasn’t turned around.

I approach and rest my hands on her shoulders. She tenses but she doesn’t move away. She pours two mugs of coffee and adds cream and sugar to mine before finally turning around to hand it to me.

She doesn’t meet my eyes, but she blows on her coffee and sips.

“Can we sit, please?” I gesture to the small table and chairs. I pull out a chair for her, and I sit across from her pretty face. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

She looks into my eyes and swallows but doesn’t say anything. I can sense the fear and uncertainty coming from her, so I reach across the table and wait for her to take my hand. I let out a breath when she does.

“The last time I was in New York, I heard from Holly,” I begin.

“Holly? Who the hell is Holly?” She quickly moves her hand away from mine. “Your ex-girlfriend Holly? The one you were with when you were both drinking?”

“She was never a girlfriend.”

“Oh right. Your hookup then,” she says. She looks away, and I can see she’s holding her breath until I say more.

“When she called, she said she had a three-year-old child.” The mug stops halfway to her mouth. She looks at me, eyes wide and lips pursed tight. She puts the mug down and stares into my eyes. “When I got back,” I say, clearing my throat, “I met up with her and got a DNA test. I got the results yesterday a few hours before I picked you up.”

With each word, her eyebrows rise higher on her forehead. Her nostrils are now flared. She takes a deep breath and says, “And?” I open my mouth to speak, but she goes first. “Do you have a child, Charlie? Answer the fucking question.”

“No,” I say and her body bends in relief. “The paternity test was negative.”

“Start with that next time,” she snaps. Her chair scrapes against the floor, and she gets up. She goes to the sink, pours her coffee down the drain, and throws the mug in. I’m pretty sure it breaks from the sound it makes. “Excuse me.” She practically runs out of the kitchen and out of my sight.

I follow her upstairs. She’s in the bedroom pulling clothes out of her suitcase. When she tries to walk past me, I wrap my hand around her wrist.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, but I wanted to know if she was mine before putting this on you. I didn’t want to tell you without answers.” She yanks her wrist from me and tries togo around me, but I block her. “Talk to me. Please.” I reach out to touch her, but she moves away.

“If Italkto you right now, Charlie, you won’t like what I have to say. I need to shower. Move.”

“No. I thought you’d be relieved. Why are you so angry when—”

She puts her palm to my face, but I take it and put it down. “Why am I so angry? Really?” she hisses. “For over a week you knew there was a possibility you had a child, and you told me nothing. I’ve asked you at least three times if something was bothering you, and you lied to me.”

“I didn’t lie. Each time you asked that, I told you I missed you. That’s the truth,” I say quickly. “I’ve never lied to you.”

“Now you stand here and say it’s because you wanted answers first. Tell me, Charlie, am I a part of this relationship, or am I a bystander? Do I not get to know things as they are happening, or only when you determine it’s time for me to know?”

I close my eyes as I absorb her words. She tries to push me, but I don’t budge. “You’re right, but that was the decision I made at the time. I should have told you, but I was scared, Lettie. I was so scared I was going to lose you, and if that was going to be the case, I wanted to hold on to you for as long as possible.”

“Lose me? You think that little of me that I would dump you over a child you conceived before you knew I existed? That’s how you see me? No, I wouldn’t have left you. I would have hugged you and told you that any kid would be lucky to have you as a father. I would have gone with you to get tested, and I would have been by your side when it was time for you to read the results, but you didn’t give me a chance. You decided for me.” She puts a hand to her forehead and puts it down. “I mean, what the hell am I doing right now? Do you even want me here?”

“Of course, I do. How can you ask that? This is our home.”

“And you tell me now. Three hours before I’m supposed to meet your mom and Vickie to go shopping so we can make your favorite dinner, and I’m so irritated with you. Move.” She pushes me twice. The pushes have no impact, but I get out of her way and let her out of the bedroom.

She needs a few minutes, and maybe a shower will help her clear her head, but at least she didn’t leave. While she’s in the shower, I decide to make the bed and put her clothes away. She comes back twenty minutes later with a towel wrapped around her.

Our eyes lock, but she quickly looks away. She sits on the side of the bed, and I sit next to her. She doesn’t flinch when I put my hand on her bare shoulder, so I inch closer.

“I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I can see how you would be upset.” I lean down and kiss her exposed skin. “Please, don’t be mad at me. I’m still learning how to be in a relationship, and I messed up this time, but I never intended to hurt or upset you.” I take the lotion bottle from her and take her hands in mine. “Forgive me, Lettie.” I kiss the back of her hands.

She looks at me and gives me a sad smile. She pulls one hand from mine and runs it through my hair. “You carried this on your own?” she asks, and I nod.

“The only people I told were Colt and my sponsor. Colt told me to tell you, and I was going to, but it was the same day Spence showed up at your gym. I also didn’t want to add more stress on you, and I convinced myself I could handle this on my own until I had answers. But I never wanted to deceive you. I thought I was saving you from unnecessary stress. This was my issue, and I didn’t want to bring this to you without knowing the facts.”

“Part of this relationship thing is that we’re supposed to lean on each other. I could have been there for you.” She puts her head on my chest, and I wrap an arm around her. “Did the thought of taking a drink go through your head?”

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