Page 114 of Almost Paradise

Drake picks Carter up and takes him upstairs. After giving him a bath, he puts him in our bed and tells him he can watch television. Pixie lies at the foot of our bed.

This time, when Drake goes into the bathroom, I follow him. He’s at the sink with his head hanging down. I wrap my arms around his waist and put my face in the middle of his back. I plant several kisses there, but I get nothing back.

“He’s okay, baby,” I reassure him.

He turns around and looks down at me. I look into his eyes, and they seem pained.

“It’s my fault,” he finally says. He looks away as if he can’t look at me.

“It’s not—”

“It is. Maybe you don’t see it yet, but it is. And I’m so afraid that tomorrow or the next day, you’ll realize this is my fault and you’ll take him and leave. I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose you again.”

I almost take a step back at that admission. I reach for his face and hold his cheeks until he looks into my eyes.

“I got involved with Scarlett. I brought her into my life. I proposed marriage and never set a date. Then I marry you before breaking things off with her. I did all those things. I pushed her into kidnapping Carter. Me.” He points at himself. “I’m supposed to protect my family, and I’ve failed in every single way, Nia. In every way. The first time I failed you and Carter was when I allowed my father to tear us apart.”

I walk into him and wrap my arms around him. He does the same to me, but he’s still distant.

“I dropped him,” I admit. “When he was five months old. I was home alone with him, and he had a major diaper explosion. I’m talking about the kind that went all the way up his back.”

“Um, does that mean what I think it means?” he asks. I look up into his eyes, and for the first time since we got home, I see some playfulness in them.

“Yup. It was the green kind and it got as far as the nape of his neck. I was horrified. I think the explosion scared him because he was screaming his little ass off. By the time I got him to the changing table, I was frazzled. I put him down, but there were no wipes nearby. I was so out of it, I left him on the table to go to the bathroom to get the wipes. Before I could get back, I heard a loud thud, followed by more screaming. I thought for sure he had broken something or given himself a concussion. By the time, I got to him, I was crying too. And instead of calling nine-one-one or his pediatrician, you want to know what I did?”

“What?” he asks.

“I called my mother,” I say with a chuckle. “While I’m holding a screaming baby who was oozing green poop and probably had an injury, I called my mommy.”

“What did she say?” He put his chin on my forehead.

“She told me to calm down, and by the time she talked me down, Carter was smiling.”

Drake laughs at the story, and so do I. “I appreciate what you’re doing, baby girl, but it’s not the same thing. You were a first-time mother who panicked. I brought Scarlett into—”

“Remember I told you I had a boyfriend a couple of years ago?”

His jawline ticks, but he doesn’t say a word. He just nods.

“He was a single dad to a little boy, and I thought he and I would be a good fit. His son was a little older than Carter, but he was a great kid.” I feel him tense in my arms. “One night he suggested I let my parents or Ray raise Carter so I could devote all my time to him andhisson. I ended it on the spot. He acted like he was kidding, but I left and never spoke to him again.”

“What’s his name, baby girl?” he asks much too quietly.

“That doesn’t matter. My point is, I almost brought someone into Carter’s life who didn’t have his best interests at heart either. You’re not responsible for Scarlett’s actions just like I wasn’t responsible for my ex’s. You ended a relationship. That’s something people do every day. You’re allowed to end an engagement. You’re allowed to change your mind and walk away. That does not give her license to kidnap our son as revenge. She’s an adult. The only person responsible for Scarlett’s actions is Scarlett.”

“But—”

“You are not responsible for what she did,” I repeat a little louder. “All we can do is make sure she pays for her crimes.”

“I will make sure of it,” he says. “I was so worried you’d blame me,” he whispers, his words choked.

“Drake, I know firsthand how much you love Carter. You’d die before hurting him. I don’t blame you. I love you, and you are never losing me again. Never.” I tilt my face up and he smiles down at me. This smile is real, and I feel him exhale with relief. “Now kiss your wife.”

And he does just that. He wraps his arms around me and gives me a kiss that sets my body ablaze. I press my body into his and immediately feel how much he wants me. I rub against him, and he groans in my mouth.

“I’m going to put Carter in his bed, and then my husband is going to make love to me,” I say against his mouth. I kiss the corner of his lips and run my hands down until they land on his ass.

“I told him he could sleep with us,” he reminds me.

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