Page 17 of Almost Paradise

By the time I return, she’s sitting up in the bed. Her dirty blonde hair is a mess. She tries to run her fingers through it, but they get caught in the tangles. I take her glass, return to the bathroom, rinse it, and fill it with water.

“Drink this,” I say to her when I return. She takes a few sips before the glass slips from her hand and lands on her white down comforter.

“Drakey,” she slurs, “come lie down with me.” She pats the space next to her. “Remember how you’d fall asleep here when you were a kid? Daddy would carry you to your bed, but some nights, I’d tell him to let you stay,” She smiles sadly at the memory, but I don’t remember any of it. “Why did he have to leave us?” She starts to sob. I sit on the bed and pull her into my arms.

I hold her until her cries subside. I run my hand down her back as I try to soothe and comfort her. I know she feels lost, just like I do. Just like Langley and Hannah, but unlike everyone else, I don’t have the luxury of checking out. I have to keep going.

“Get me another drink. I just need to do this today, Drake.” She shifts and grabs me by my collar. “I promise I’ll do better tomorrow, but today, I drink.” Mom’s never been much of a drinker outside of a glass of wine or champagne at a party. She’s always been poised and well put together. The perfect wife for Donald Paradise. My entire life, they’ve been in sync, whether it was through charity work, raising us, or something as simple as the family vacation; they always decided together.

At least that’s how I saw it. I still can’t believe this story that my father conspired to keep my child from me because of skin color. He didn’t care about that. It’s not only something he said, but it was in things that he did. He hired everyone regardless of race. There are high-level black executives at Paradise. He’s worked with minority and women-owned contractors. What Nia is saying doesn’t make sense, but on the rare chance that it’s true, did my mother know?

Her sobs subside and she pulls away from me before grabbing my face. She looks into my eyes and I stare back into hers. Her eyes are just like mine, only loving and warm. They’ve always been.

“There’s so much on you, Drakey. We’ve always had high expectations, but I had hoped you’d have more time. Maybe fall in love. You don’t love Scarlett,” she says, surprising me. “You’re not happy. I wish you’d—”

“Mom,” I say, cutting her off. She stops speaking but tears flood her eyes again. “Listen to me.” I decide I’m going to ask. She’s drunk, and drunk people tend to tell the truth. “Do you know about my son?” I wait for her to either admit or deny it. I wait for her tell, but her thumbnail doesn’t go anywhere near her mouth.

She hiccups, drops my face, wipes her nose with the back of her hand, and drops herself on a mountain of pillows.

“You mean Bluey?” she says with a bit of nostalgia. Bluey was a stuffed blue whale I took with me everywhere when I was a kid. It was perfect until Langley ripped it and pulled out the stuffing.

“No, not Bluey, Mom. My son. A boy named Carter.” She groans and puts a hand to her head. “Dad knew and kept me from finding out.” I still don’t fully believe the words, but I have to know if they’re true and if Mother knew.

“What are you going on about, Drakey? Bluey will be good as new. I have the best doctors working on him.” She sits up and cups my face again. She had someone fix Bluey for me. She made it seem like he was having surgery and would be good as new, and he was. Langley was never allowed near him again.

She drops herself back onto the bed and pulls the duvet on top of her. She rolls to her side, sighs, and closes her eyes. I sit there until her breathing evens out. I refill her glass of water and put an Advil bottle next to it. I kiss her forehead, but she doesn’t stir, and moments later, she starts to snore.

Chapter 12

Drake

Scarlett still isn’t home by the time I arrive, and I’m forced to think about the conversation I just had. The only little bit of good news out of this, other than my son, is that Mother didn’t know. If my father was behind this, she wasn’t a part of the deception. That little bit of knowledge gives me such relief.

I pull the papers Nia gave me out of my jacket pocket, but I can’t bring myself to look at them now. I put them in my safe. One thing at a time. Right now, I need to deal with my fiancée. Then I need to get to Howard, but there’s a part of me that’s relieved not to have the answers. At least not yet.

I stare out the window and look at the big house just a few feet away. The house where I grew up. The house where my parents raised us all to be kind and tolerant human beings. Those weren’t just words. Donald Paradise wasn’t the type of man who would actively work to keep my child from me. And for what? Because Nia is black? He would never. He believed that any two consenting adults can love and marry whoever they want. He donated money to politicians who also believed that.

I eye the safe, and I’m grateful those papers are in there and away from me. They felt heavy inside my jacket pocket. My dead father can’t be behind this. Not the man that I still mourn and miss every single day. Not the man whose counsel I still yearn for. There’s got to be another explanation.

I stay in the office until Scarlett’s voice pulls me out of my dark thoughts. I’m still standing in the same spot, more confused now than when I saw my son two weeks ago at that arcade.

“Honey,” Scarlett’s soft voice calls to me. “Where are you, and why are you home right now?” I remain quiet, totally unprepared for what I’m going to tell her.

She finds me two minutes later when she opens the door to my office. My back is to her while I stare out the window at my family home as if I’ve never seen it before.

“Oh, God, you’re scaring me, honey.” With rushed steps, she crosses the room and grabs both of my hands. She lifts them and puts them to her face. “You’re ice cold. What is it?” She drops my hands and grabs my face. She’s tall. She has a few inches on Nia, and despite being a tall man, I never felt comfortable with it. It feels unnatural to have her eyes closer to mine. It feels as if I’m not supposed to be with her, but that doesn’t make sense. “Are you sick?” I can hear the panic in her voice and given what we’ve been through with my father, I put her at ease by shaking my head no. She exhales in relief. She takes my hands again and waits.

That’s one of the things I appreciate about Scarlett. It’s her ability to listen to an explanation. I take a deep breath and begin. “I don’t know quite how to say this, so I’m just going to get to the point.” Some of her color disappears. That’s hard for her to do since she’s so pale already. I brush back her strawberry blonde hair and run my finger over the freckles on her nose. She doesn’t giggle like she normally does. “I found out that I have a son.” Any remaining color she had in her face is now wiped away. Her mouth hangs open and she lets out a small sound. “He’s three years old, so this happened long before we got together. You know I’m not the type of man who would do that. I’m not a cheater.”

She drops my hands and looks around the office. Then one of her hands flies to her hair and she pulls on it. It’s a nervous habit of hers that I’ve noticed.

“What do you mean you have a son? With whom?” Her voice gets higher with each word.

“It’s with a woman I had a relationship with a little over four years ago. She worked at Paradise. Things ended and she left the company.” She waits for more, but there’s nothing more I want to say about my relationship with Nia. That’s something only me and her share. That year was the best time of my life. Better than anything I’ve experienced with Scarlett. If things had worked out differently, it would be Nia here with me. Her and our son. Together.

“And she never told you she had your child? Why did she seek you out now? For money? Is she blackmailing you? How do you even know the child is yours?” She bites her thin bottom lip. I wait for her to meet my eyes like she normally does when we’re having a discussion, but she won’t. In fact, she gives me her back as she runs a shaky hand through her hair.

“It’s my child. There was a paternity test, but honestly, Scarlett. I didn’t need it. He looks like me. I felt something when I saw him.”

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