Page 64 of Almost Paradise

“Uncle Ray never lets me use his phone.” He looks up at his uncle and waits. Langley pulls his phone out of his pocket. Carter practically bounces on his heels.

“Let’s go download your favorite games.”

“I can get you whatever you want to eat and drink,” I whisper to Nia a few minutes later. She hasn’t eaten any appetizers yet either.

“I’m not hungry or thirsty,” she says.

“But you haven’t eaten all day.”

“I’m not a child,” she whispers. “When I get hungry or thirsty, I’ll do something about it.”

From the corner of my eye, I notice Langley watching us, but Carter starts to talk to him, so he looks away. Minutes later, we’re called for lunch. Nia tries to take Carter’s hand, but my mother gets him first.

Meals at home have always been formal affairs. The chef cooks and servers bring it to us. Today’s no different, and I regret not asking my mother to make this more casual, but she probably has no idea what that means. To her, this is a small lunch with the family.

Carter eats everything and talks nonstop to my mother and siblings. They laugh at everything he says, and every few moments, Mom’s eyes will fill with tears. Nia just pushes her food around on her plate. She doesn’t take one single bite. I’m sure Hannah and Mom don’t notice, but Langley does. His eyes dart to her every few minutes. To his credit, he tries to talk with her and ask her questions, but Nia will only give him one or two-word answers.

After lunch, he offers to take Carter for a walk on the property. Nia offers to go too, but I know it’s not because she’s interested in my family estate. A home that is partly hers now. I’m sure she just wants to keep her eyes on Carter to protect him from my family’s immediate threat.

“I want to swim in the pool,” I hear Carter say.

“Honey, you don’t know how to swim yet,” Nia reminds him.

“Yes, I do,” Carter insists.

“I’ll teach you this summer,” Langley volunteers.

“Oh, yes. I’ll get you an instructor,” Mom says. She wraps her arm through mine. “I’m looking forward to summer barbeques and pool parties.”

Nia doesn’t say a word, but I can tell she’s not happy about that by the way her nostrils flare with irritation. As much as I don’t want to fight anymore, I guess we’ll have to fight tonight about her behavior.

After our walk, Langley and Hannah let Carter drive his new car in the driveway. The temperature has dropped so they are not out there for long. Nia stands out with them and watches the entire time. After loading his new presents in the car, it’s time for us to leave. Nia is stiff when my family hugs her goodbye.

We don’t speak on the way home. She looks out the window. Carter’s exhausted and falls asleep in his car seat almost immediately. When we get to the building, I carry him. He’s wide awake by the time we take the elevator to the penthouse. After promising to get his new presents from the car later, he says he’s going to color in his room.

Nia still hasn’t said a word to me. She’s already in the kitchen, pulling out contents from the fridge to make a sandwich.

“Hungry?” I ask. I get a bottle of water and hand it to her. For the first time today, she looks at me, but it’s over much too quickly. She takes the water bottle, opens it, and drinks half in a few gulps. “You know, the chef is pretty good. Maybe you should have eaten instead of pushing the food around on your plate.”

She ignores me and cuts a baguette. She puts cheese and turkey in it, closes it, and takes a huge bite. She stares at me as she chews, uncaring about the crumbs falling from her mouth. After she swallows, she says, “I thought you said you didn’t want to fight.”

“I don’t.” I hold both hands up. Actually, I do. For now, an argument will be the only way for me to know what she’s thinking or feeling.

“I don’t either,” she says right before she takes another big bite. I wait for her to chew and say more. “Unlike you, I’m not toxic, Paradise.”

Hearing her call me toxic shouldn’t bother me. She’s angry at me, and she’s lashing out. My head knows this, but my heart breaks a little each time she says it. “I’m toxic?” I snort as if the idea is absurd. “What about you?” I ask before I can think better of it. “You’ve called me every name in the book. You’ve hit me. You’ve pulled a knife out on me, and you stand there in all your hypocrisy and callmetoxic?” Her head rolls back as if I just struck a physical blow. “Pot, meet kettle.”

“None of those things have ruined your life like you’ve ruined mine,” she says while pointing at herself. “Am I just supposed to sit back and take it? Fuck that,” she says. “Me calling you a few names and slapping you across the face like you deserve doesn’t come close to what you’ve done.”

“Ruined your life?” I give her a fake laugh. “Look around you, baby girl. Your life is hardly ruined, but I find it telling how you left out the part where you tried to kill me.”

“If I wanted to kill you, you’d be dead,” she says dismissively.

This time, my laugh is genuine. This is the same woman who cried for an entire weekend about her neighbor’s dog being put down four years ago.

“Okay, tough guy,” is all I say.

“As I was saying,” she says. “I don’t like chaos. I don’t want Carter to know how I’m feeling. I don’t enjoy fighting either, believe it or not.”

---