Page 65 of Almost Paradise

She gives me her back. She puts the sandwich down and goes to the pantry. She comes back with a bag of chips.

“Then why didn’t you eat? And why were you so cold to everyone? They were a lot nicer and a lot more gracious and welcoming than your family has been to me.” She slams the chips down on the counter and faces me. I guess she’s ready to give me that fight now. That didn’t take long.

“You think my family should be gracious to you? After you abandoned—”

“I warned you about accusing me of that. I did no such thing.” I do my best to keep my voice low so Carter doesn’t hear, but I don’t think I succeed. She puts her finger to her lips, signaling for me to be quiet.

“I don’t care about your warning,” she whisper shouts. “Fine. If you want to rewrite history and say you didn’t abandon us, fine. What about all your other dirty deeds? And I didn’t eat or drink at your dysfunctional family’s stick-up-the-ass little lunch because I don’t trust them not to poison me.”

Of all the things she’s said, the last one is the most surprising, not to mention the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard.

“Out of the two of us, you’re the only one who’s ever had anything up their ass.” That statement shocks her so much, she takes a step back.

“Thanks for continuing to remind me of all my life’s mistakes,” she says.

“Really? Which time was it a mistake? I seem to remember you’re the one who asked for it. Again and again,” I add, pushing down the twinge of pain her words cause me. When she purses her lips and refuses to answer, I say, “And poison you? Have you gone mad? You know damn well no one was going to poison you. You did that to be petty and to get back at me.”

“To get back at you for what?” She finishes her sandwich and waits. “Which one of the many awful things have you done to me that I’d want to get back at you for? And yes, I don’t put anything past anyone with the name Paradise. Oh, God. The irony of your last name. Paradise,” she scoffs with a heavy dose of disdain. “It should be purgatory, do you know that? You poison me, take my son, and blame it on Solomon.”

I let out a snort at the absurdity that just came out of her mouth. “You watch way too many true crime documentaries. You sound deranged, baby girl. I’d hate to commit you to a mental institution. However you might feel about my father or me, my mother and siblings had nothing to do with it. All they want is to get to know Carter. Believe it or not, they want to get to know you too. You’re part of the family now.” I eye her left hand and she’s not wearing her ring. She hasn’t worn it in days. I have no idea where it is, and I wonder if she made good on her threat and flushed it down the toilet.

“Well, I don’t believe it, and I never will. You walk around with blinders on about your father, and I’m supposed to trust your judgment about the rest of them? To be clear, I don’t want to be a part of your family. I’m done with yet another pointless conversation with you. I have a headache, and I’m going upstairs to get the hell away from you.” She walks past me and disappears from my sight, not bothering to clean up the mess she left on the counter first.

After making sure the kitchen is back in order, I find her in Carter’s room. She’s in his bed while he plays in the corner. She has that same vacant look in her eyes like she had her first night here. When she sees me, she turns and gives me her back. I sit on the edge of the bed and put my hand on her waist. She doesn’t move away, but I might as well be touching an iceberg.

“Just so you know, I love having you and Carter here. We had something good once. It was better than good for me if I’m being honest. I want us to get back to that. I never had anything close to what we shared before you or since. I hate that you’re unhappy. I hate this hostility. I hate this tension and this wall between us. I’ve missed you, Nia. I think you’ve missed me too.”

She doesn’t say anything, and I don’t expect her to. I reluctantly move my hand and stand up.

“Why don’t we let Mommy nap?” I say to Carter. “Come watch cartoons with me.” He’s up and out of the room in no time.

Chapter 36

Drake

If the circumstances were different, I’d be annoyed at my mother showing up at my home without calling first, but not tonight. I’m mildly relieved. As far as I know, this is the first time she’s left the property since Dad’s funeral. She’s been holed up at home for months with Langley, her grief, and unlimited alcohol.

I might not be irritated, but I’m worried about why she’s here. I saw her two days ago for that strained lunch. We talked briefly on the phone yesterday, but she did not mention coming over. I don’t even know how she knows where I live. I certainly never told her about this place, but it would only take a moment to talk to my security team to know where I am at any given moment. Another perk of being a Paradise.

Nia’s right. Sometimes it’s like being in purgatory. I’ll never admit that to her though.

The elevator dings and my mother steps into the penthouse. She’s impeccably dressed in a tailored pantsuit, but I can see the sadness in her eyes. She looks like she’s aged ten years in the past nine months. She has crow’s feet at the corners of her eyes and mouth, and she has gray hair at her temples.

I walk to her, and she kisses my cheeks. After helping her with her coat, I gesture for us to sit on the couch, but she takes her time walking around the first floor of the penthouse.

“This is nice,” she says once she gets to the kitchen. Her fingertips trail along the marble island and she finally takes a seat. I pour us each a glass of red wine. She pats the stool next to hers, and I sit. “I’m sorry,” she says as she sips her wine.

My heart sinks at her words. I put my own glass down and wait for her to say more. I stare into her eyes, wondering if I read things wrong all those weeks ago when I went to see her and found her drunk.

“I’ve been checked out, and it started way before your father—” she lets the word hang, “—left us,” she concedes. “I’ve been out of it since his diagnosis. Maybe even longer because he was sick for a while before he went to see the doctor.” She blows her breath upward.

“You’re grieving. You don’t have to apologize for that.” I put a hand on hers. As always, her skin is warm.

“I haven’t been able to be your mother, Drake. You need a mom regardless of how old you are.” She finishes her wine, puts down the glass, and grabs both my hands. “Even when you’re married,” she says looking right in my eyes. “Where is your family, by the way? I was hoping to see my grandson.” She exhales and smiles at the mention of Carter. Her eyes light up, and in this moment, I’m positive my mother did not conspire with my father.

“They’re at her family’s. They’ll be home soon,” I tell her.

“Why aren’t you with them? Her family is your family too now.” We stare at each other, but no words come out of my mouth. I can’t tell my mother that my in-laws hate me, and I’m giving my wife a gift by not barging into their house. “Let me say something,” she says.

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