Page 72 of Almost Paradise

Audrey’s phone rings before she can say any more, and she excuses herself to go outside.

“I don’t know what to do, Ray,” I whisper to him now that Audrey is gone. “He told me he meant his vows. It would be easier if he was indifferent, but he’s acting like we’re a real family. That doesn’t make sense because he told me the marriage is all about Carter, and I’m a means to an end.” I don’t tell Ray how much that hurt. I’ve always dreamed of a relationship like the one my parents have, or the one Ray had with his wife before she passed away. I never thought I’d be blackmailed into my own marriage.

“I never believed the marriage was about Carter. If the man wanted access to Carter, he could have it without being in a marriage he doesn’t want. Come on, Nia. Think.”

I shake my head, unwilling to allow Ray’s words to take root in my brain. He stands and grabs a beer from the fridge for himself and pours me another glass of wine. “Obviously, you two had something four years ago, right?” He sits and raises his hands. “I don’t need details, but it couldn’t have been bad. Before things went to hell, what was it like? No details about the nasty stuff. Be honest about how you felt about him. You know you can be honest with me.”

I look outside, and Audrey is still talking on the phone. She throws her head back and laughs at something. Audrey is the only one I told about Drake while we were together. She had warned me to be careful. When things went to hell, she let me cry on her shoulder while she cussed him out, but she never said I told you so.

“It was great,” I admit. “I was crazy about him, and I thought it was mutual. I thought about him day and night. We were together almost every day, and it wasn’t just physical. No man has ever treated me as well as he did. He was funny, sweet, and so damn romantic.” He makes a face, but I continue. “It was really special and beautiful. The man I remembered didn’t have a mean bone in his body. At least when it came to me, but there was always this nagging feeling in the back of my head. Like it could all be gone in an instant, and it was. Maybe that’s why I kept him all to myself. Maybe deep down I knew it wouldn’t last, and I didn’t want to share our time together with anyone else.”

The only person I talked about the breakup with was Audrey, but Ray was the first person I told about being pregnant. I confessed everything to him that day, and even though he was still grieving his wife’s death and was the single parent of two young kids, he held me while I cried on his shoulder.

“He still cares about you,” Ray says just as Audrey walks in. She snorts. “He does. He’s always making eyes at you.”

“Making eyes at me? That sounds like something Mom would say,” I tell him.

“I know when a man cares about a woman. All I’m saying is, if you cared about him once, you can care about him again. Maybe the man from all those years ago is still there. You don’t have to sentence yourself to a life of loneliness because you’re mad. In other words, talk to your husband. Really talk and maybe listen too.”

“How long was I outside?” Audrey asks. “Care about him again? Are you crazy, Ray? After all he’s done? Listen, my plan will work if yo—”

“Audrey, remember when that family of raccoons got into Grandma’s basement?” I giggle, and Audrey crosses her arms and looks away. “You cried and begged the adults not to kill them. You did a whole report on how raccoons benefit the ecosystem.”

“And? What is your point?” she asks Ray.

“My point is you are no killer. Take several seats. Now, I don’t want Nia to be filled with resentment, hate, and anger, do you?”

“Of course, I don’t.” Audrey softens and reaches for my hand. I meet her halfway, and she squeezes it.

Ray turns to me and says, “Just talk to him.”

I stick my finger in my mouth and pretend to gag.

Chapter 39

Drake

I track her location every few minutes, but I don’t need to. She’s at her old house and was driven there by one of the drivers. I’m pleasantly surprised that she did that. I would have sworn she would have called a ride-sharing service just to avoid using anything of mine. She’s never called for her driver before even though I gave her his information the night she moved in. She’s only ever ridden with me in the mornings to drop Carter off.

It was with great reluctance that I left the house today. I made up my mind that when Nia and Carter moved in, I would not work on the weekends, but with both being sick this week, I need to play catch up today. I left because I wouldn’t be able to focus with Carter following me around. I figure I can give them my undivided attention tonight.

My loving son and his mother who hates me. I have felt a slight change from Nia for the past few days. She only put up a small fight, but she let me take care of her. Since the first day, she’s been a lot less hostile, and I wonder if I’m being foolish to hope that one day we can get past all this and return to how we were before.

While I pull out a spreadsheet with last quarter’s numbers, my office door swings open and Langley walks in. I do my best to mask my surprise, but I don’t remember the last time he stepped foot in this building, never mind my office. I think he checked out when he learned our dad only had months to live. Of course, it was left up to me to delegate to his team. He never once thought that I might need comfort or my own time to grapple with Dad’s illness.

No one in my family other than Hannah considered me or my feelings. Mom stuck her head in the sand and is only now starting to emerge. Langley just threw his hands up in the air and dumped everything on me, yet he acts as if I’m the one who hurt him.

I don’t say a word. I don’t look at him at all. I don’t know why he’s sought me out, but I doubt it’s for any positive reason. There’s no need to ask him how he knew I’d be here on a Sunday.

We were close as kids. We were close as adults too, but things changed between us a few years ago. I can’t think of anything I did, but he became resentful of me and pushed me away. Whatever bullshit he’s on right now, I’m too busy for it.

He walks to my desk and sets something on it. It’s a large coffee from a local coffee shop.

“To what do I owe this honor? Did you poison this?” I think of Nia accusing my family of poisoning her, and my stomach sinks at the memory.

“Fair question, but no.” He walks around the office and looks out the window that shows the back of the building. “Can’t a brother come and say hi to another brother?” he asks.

“Not if those brothers are us. Let’s not pretend we’re anything more than we are.”

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