Page 74 of Almost Paradise

I wish I had known that four years ago. “I wish you had told me this back then, Lang.”

“But you blackmailed her? Classic Donald Paradise. Total control freak move.”

“Not exactly a compliment.”

“It wasn’t meant to be. What the hell were you thinking doing that?”

“I wanted my family with me,” I say in my defense. And I needed to do it before things about Dad were confirmed. Seeing her with Jelani that night was the final push I needed to make my move.

“I can tell you care about her.”

“Of course, I do, but that’s something I need to discuss with her before anyone else.” That’s putting it mildly. The feelings I had all those years ago never went away. I stuffed them down, and now they’ve resurfaced. I chose to be with a woman who could never compare to Nia, not even on her best day. I had condemned myself to a life of melancholy and adequacy. I had given up on passion. The nights with her just sleeping beside me are more fulfilling than anything I’ve had with anyone else.

“I’d like to spend time with Carter. He’s all mom’s talked about.”

“You can see him whenever you want. He’d love that.”

Nia was right when she told me Carter is full of love. He’s like that because that’s all he’s received, and that’s not thanks to me. He got that from her and her family. My father, my so-called family did everything to keep him from me. That thought is like acid churning in my stomach.

“Why did you ever get involved with Scarlett? You were never interested in her, and then out of nowhere, you two became a couple. Then you give her a ring but never set a date. What the fuck was that all about?”

I look away, ashamed and guilty at how I treated her, but I remember all the awful things she said about Nia and Carter, and most of that guilt disappears.

“She was safe. After things ended with Nia, I was so hurt. I was angry. I didn’t want to feel those things again, and I knew that I was not in danger of getting hurt by Scarlett. I shouldn’t have done it. Part of me feels like shit for doing that to her.”

“I’ll be honest, watching you two together was so uncomfortable. Every time she put her arm around you, it felt unnatural. But only part of you felt guilty?”

“What are you? Some investigative reporter? I’d appreciate it if this conversation stays between us, by the way.” I eye him up and down. He’s obviously sober and not holding any malice toward me. At least while he waits for me to answer. “She said some horrible things about Nia and Carter. I’m not going to repeat them, but they were ugly. So, yeah, I’m not going to wallow in guilt over her.”

He nods in understanding. “I bet,” he says. “She came to the house and cried on Mom’s shoulder. She told her it was up to her to convince you to take her back. I don’t know what she was thinking since you’re married, but it made Mom uncomfortable.”

I can picture it now. Scarlett crying hysterically because she thinks it will get her what she wants. I noticed that’s how she operates with her family. She cries to her father, and he does whatever she wants. She assumes that will work on everyone else.

“I guess it makes sense why Nia was so closed off toward everyone. She didn’t eat or drink, and she wouldn’t let Carter out of her sight. She assumes we’re all like Dad, doesn’t she?”

I nod in silence and run my hand over my face. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. She has every right to be angry and wary of us, and I have no idea how to change that. She still doesn’t believe that I didn’t know. She thinks I’m only in his life now because of some sense of guilt.” Truth is, I’m fucked. I went about everything the wrong way, but I don’t regret us getting married when we did. I regret how I went about it, but I’m fine with the result. Besides, I didn’t have the luxury of time once Jelani entered the picture.

“Well, you look at her like you want to have her for dinner,” Langley says. My head snaps up, and I look into his face. “She avoids looking at you at all costs. It’s really quite funny.”

“Not from over here, it’s not.”

“Try being nice. Maybe apologize for your actions and come clean about our father. Have you told her you believe her about Dad? I bet when she first made the accusation, you didn’t take it well.”

“I didn’t. Our father wasn’t perfect, but I never thought he was that.” I can barely say the word. “I thought he loved us. I thought he loved me, but how can a loving father do this to his son? The worst part is, he’s dead so I can’t even walk away from this and cut him out of my life. I don’t know how to reconcile any of it. And what the hell kind of apology can I offer that would erase his actions?”

I sit back down in my chair and lean back. I exhale and cover my face with both hands.

“Just tell her you’re sorry she had to deal with him and go through a pregnancy alone. I don’t know, Drake. Go to therapy. Have a mediator help you communicate. Tell her how you feel. Start small by asking her out on a date. Hell, ask her for an hour of her time. Just do something.”

She’ll probably pull another knife out on me if I do all that, but I don’t say that to my brother.

“Why are you here? And why are you being nice to me?”

“I don’t want to be an asshole like you and Dad,” he says.

“I’m not an asshole. At least never to you. Get your facts straight. You’ve had it out for me for the past five years, and I have no idea why. We were close once,” I tell him. “I miss that.”

“Look, I was just sick of you being the golden boy. Dad always preferred you. He put you on a pedestal. Hannah was his little girl, and I was an afterthought. It was always you who would run the business. Everything was Drake, Drake, Drake, and I got sick of it. Maybe I want to be CEO,” he says.

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