Page 60 of Friend Zoned

She sighs and stands. “Fine. Behave, Mom.” She kisses her mom’s cheek and leaves. Myra walks away and pokes her head down the hall. Once she’s assured that Jeannie is gone, she returns to the stove. She has her back turned, but she cranes her neck to look back while she stirs something on the stovetop. Whatever it is, makes my stomach growl.

“You know you’re always welcome in this house as long as my daughter wants you here.”

“Thank you, Myra,” I tell her.

“And you can watch the football with me,” her dad says. “The bonehead didn’t like to watch with me. He said I asked too many questions. I have a game on now.”

I scratch my head and say, “Football season is over. The Superbowl was two weeks ago.”

“I recorded it. Didn’t watch it yet. You can explain to me since you coach. I like it but don’t understand it.”

“I coach basketball,” I remind him.

“So, you don’t understand the football?” He seems a little deflated.

“I do. I can teach you.”

Myra stands straight and nods in approval. “Forget about the stupid football, Alphonse. Now,” she says, limping over and taking Jeannie’s empty seat, “will my daughter be welcome at your family home?” She looks me right in the eye. “She’s been through a lot with the bonehead. She needs someone who will treat her well.”

I rest my hand on hers and squeeze. “I promise I will.”

“Good.” She squeezes my hand back. “Now, answer my question. Will she be welcome by your family?”

My sister is like an eager puppy waiting to attack her the minute I bring her home. My dad will do his best to charm her, and my mom’s competitive spirit will kick in and she’ll try to outdo my dad in the charm department. Shannon will be happy to have another person to show her dolls to, and Lincoln will pour the wine.

“She will,” I tell Myra.

“Then we won’t have a problem.” She gets up from the chair and returns to the stove just as Jeannie returns. “You have big hands. Do you know how to fight?”

I stand and take the bottles of soda from Jeannie and put them on the table. I hold up my hands and make two fists. “Why? Do you want to fight me? I’ll fight, but we have to do it outside. I don’t want to break anything in here.”

Myra puts down her spoon, approaches, and knocks my fists with hers. I take two exaggerated steps back.

“She will kick your ass,” Alphonse says.

“Not me. I will beat you, but if you can kick the bonehead’s butt, that will be good.”

Jeannie sighs and looks to the ceiling. “Let’s not talk about him, please.”

“I saw his mother,” Myra whispers. “She said hello, and I pretended I didn’t hear her and walked away.” Her face breaks into a smile, and she starts to giggle.

I offer Myra a fist bump, and to my surprise, she taps her fist with mine.

“Why? I have no issues with her. We’ve always had a good relationship, and I don’t blame her for her son’s actions,” Jeannie tells her mother.

“Well, I do. She’s a bonehead too,” Myra insists.

“A big bonehead,” her father agrees.

“Only a bonehead can make a bonehead. Look at me. I made a smart, beautiful girl,” Myra says. She pats Jeannie’s cheek.

“I wanted a boy,” Al says. He looks at Jeannie and winks at her. “I go to the hospital, and they pull out a girl.” He extends a hand to Jeannie, and she takes it. “I told My to leave her in the hospital, but she wanted to bring her home, so I let her.”

I’m sure Jeannie has heard the story before because she giggles and shakes her head at him.

“I think you made the right decision,” I say to her dad.

“I don’t know yet.” He shrugs. “I’ll let you know, but so far, she’s okay.” He kisses Jeannie’s cheek.

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