It might just be us this year, but it’s still formal. I don’t think my mother knows any other way. We’re seated in the formal living room. I was shocked to see her take Dad’s old seat at the head of the table. Her place at the other end remains empty. I’m seated to her left with Nia next to me, our fingers intertwined and resting on my lap.
To my shock, the staff have left, and it’s just the six of us to enjoy the feast in front of me. The table and food looks like it belongs on the cover of a gourmet magazine.
“We haven’t done this in a while,” Mom says. “I want to say grace, and I want us to take turns saying what we are grateful for.” Langley opens his mouth to say something, but Mom cuts him off. “And before you say it’s corny, Langley, I want you to know that I already know it is. But as the head of the family now, I’m insisting, so zip it, please,” she says with asweet smile.
Langley raises both hands and smiles back. “I wasn’t going to say that. I think it’s a great idea.”
“Mmhmm,” Mom says, doubting him. “Drake, please pray.”
“What?” I ask, stunned by the request. “Did you just ask me to pray?”
“You want Drake to what??” Langley asks before he bursts into laughter at the table. Hannah tries to hide her amusement, but she starts to laugh too. Not even Mom’s glare can stop them.
Even Nia snorts next to me. We go to church with her family once per month, but I dread it, and I spend the hour sneaking looks at my phone or thinking about work until it’s over. One time, Nia took both my phones and refused to give them back. Her dad looked my way and gave us both the death glare, and my wife blamed me for getting her into trouble with her dad.
“Uh,” I begin. Langley’s smile deepens, and Hannah tries to hide hers behind her champagne flute.
“Drake, Mom?” Langley asks. “That’s funny.”
“Are you kidding me?” Mom asks. “I took you guys to church.”
“About three times a year,” Hannah says.
“I’ll do it,” Nia volunteers. “Since I’m not a heathen like my husband. Have you learned anything at my family’s church?” I give her a blank stare and she flares her nostrils. I don’t even know the minister’s name, and he makes it a point to say hello to me every time we go.
“Please go ahead, Nia,” Mom says, pursing her lips at me.
I squeeze my wife’s hand.
“Let’s all hold hands,” she says, and we do. “Bow our heads.” After we bow our heads, she says the same prayer that her dad says every holiday. She thanks God for the food and the family and asks for his protection.
“Thank you, Nia,” Mom says. “That’s going to be your job from now on because obviously, I’ve failed my children.” Nia smiles with pride, and I make a note to hug my mother a little bit longer today for treating my wife the way she does. “Now, I’ll go first,” Mom says. She looks around the table and smiles the way she used to when I was growing up.
“I know this will sound cliché, but I’m happy for my family, especially for my beautiful grandchildren. We’ve had a rough time, but things are turning around now. I’m so grateful to you kids, especially Carter, whose arrival forced me to deal with my grief. He gave me a reason to wake up and to embrace life again. I’m grateful to Priya, my first and hopefully not my last granddaughter. I’m so lucky I get to be a part of her life and watch her grow up. She looks like her mother, but I see so much of her father in her. She’s going to be brilliant like both her parents. It's an honor and a privilege to watch these children grow and find their footing in this world.”
“Dada,” Priya says while she claps her hands. Everyone at the table laughs.
“Now, my children,” my mom continues. “I’m grateful for you, Hannah, because you’re the best daughter I could have asked for. You’re not only beautiful and smart, but you’re also kind. Your kindness is my favorite thing about you.” Hannah blushes, and her eyes fill with tears. “I hope and pray for the best for you.”
“You can outsource that to Nia now,” Langley says. My mom gives him the same look she’d give us when we misbehaved as kids. Langley clears his throat and sits up, but still hides his smile behind his hand.
Mom turns back to Hannah, reaches over, and strokes Hannah’s cheek. “You are a gift, not just to me, but to the world. The best part of that is that I get to be your mom. I got to watchyou grow up and blossom into the amazing woman sitting here today.”
“Mom,” Hannah says through her tears. She gets up, hugs our mom, and kisses her cheek. Mom swipes a lone tear and gestures for Hannah to sit down.
“Langley,” she says, facing my brother now.
“Don’t even think of making me cry in front of my nephew,” Langley says.
“My second born. You were a surprise,” she says. “One of the best surprises of my life. You were meant to be here because not only were you a surprise, but you were born three weeks before your due date. You’re also my most impatient child and my most sensitive. You love and feel so deeply, and I love that about you. I’m so thankful for you, Son. During one of the worst times of my life, you never left my side. That’s because you knew I needed you. I’ve watched you grow and turn into an amazing man, and I’m so proud to call you my son.”
Langley looks away, but I see his tears. He reaches across the table and squeezes Mom’s hand.
“And now Drake. The one who made me a mom. I’ve always had love. I grew up in a wonderful home with a loving family. I married for love, but the love I felt when I first held you in my arms was beyond anything I could have imagined. I was so unprepared.” She stops and takes a breath. “Especially since I was expecting a daughter.” She smiles fondly at the memory. “I was prepared for a daughter, but they placed the most perfect baby boy in my arms, and I had no idea what to do. Then you opened your eyes and looked at me for the first time, and I never experienced such a profound and perfect moment in my life. I made a vow at that moment to always love and protect you. I succeeded at the first but failed at the second.”
“Mom,” I begin.
“Shh. Let me, please. I didn’t protect you. I should have. I should have known, and if I had, things would have been so different. If I were a better mother to you, you wouldn’t have gone through so much pain for so long, and we could have avoided so many consequences. But I don’t want to dredge all that up. I’m thankful to you for making me a mom. For being not just a wonderful son, but a wonderful human being. For filling a role when I know you were unprepared, but you did it so seamlessly. For being a wonderful brother to your siblings and the most amazing father and husband. I always knew you would be because you have so much love. It’s a joy to watch you now with your family, and I’m so grateful to not only witness it, but I get to be a part of it. I love you, Drake.”