Page 62 of Stolen Dreams

“We need to do this again,” Autumn says.“It was so much fun.”She hugs Lilah as she walks over to kiss Everleigh’s cheek.“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“We should get going also,” Brock adds.“Saige,” he calls for his daughter, who comes bouncing into the room with Lucy behind her, the two of them in matching pj’s.“We are going to go,” he tells her as she gets up on her tippy-toes to kiss him.

“Okay, Daddy,” she replies and gives him a hug.“I love you,” she says, walking over to Everleigh and giving her the same hug she gave her father.I turn my head to watch Lilah, who is smiling at them.

“I want you to sleep tonight,” Everleigh tells her, “and then maybe tomorrow we can do a double sleepover.”

“What?”Brock says, exasperated.“That doesn’t sound like a good idea at all.”That makes us all laugh.

“Good luck, you guys,” Charlie says as he grabs Autumn’s hand and walks out the door.

“You two,” I say to both of them, “time to pretend to go to bed.”Which makes them laugh as they rush back to Lucy’s room.

“How long do you give them before the giggles start?”Everleigh looks over at Lilah.

“At least twenty minutes,” she responds as we walk Brock and Everleigh out.

“Call us if you need anything,” they offer.When they walk to the truck, Brock with his hand in Everleigh’s, they wait until the last second before they have to let go of their hands.

“Tonight was a good night,” Lilah states from beside me, and I look over at her and see her tired smile.“You okay?”she asks as she wraps her arms around my waist.“You’ve been quiet all night.”

“I’m fine,” I answer softly, trying to get my head to stop fucking going a million miles a minute.

“I’m going to go and take a shower.”She tilts her head back, and instead of kissing her lips, I nod at her.

She lets go of me, turning and walking back into the house with me following her not far behind.She goes to the bedroom while I go to the kitchen to clean up the rest of the dishes we dirtied.

The tightness forms in my chest as I clean up and I hear the words in my head again.“Don’t fuck it up.”I finish cleaning, turning the lights off before walking to the bedroom and peeking in, the two of them in bed watching the television.The both of them are not saying anything as the light is turned off.

The sound of the shower comes out from the other bedroom as I walk back out and head to the front door, opening the door and stepping outside.Breathing in as I sit on the step, I look up at the sky, listening to the quiet that is the night and hoping it helps quiet my head.

Tonight was a night I never thought I would have in my whole life.Couples getting together with me as one of them, with my own child.It was a little bit overwhelming and I tried to calm myself down the whole night.

I rub my hands down the front of my jeans, trying to stop the panic going through me.I put my elbows on my knees, leaning forward and looking at her truck parked there beside mine when the front door opens.“There you are.”

I look over my shoulder at her, wearing a pair of loose shorts with a matching long-sleeved shirt that falls off her shoulder.Her hair is pinned up on top of her head as she walks on her tiptoes toward me.“I don’t want to jinx it”—she smiles as she sits down beside me—“but I think the girls are sleeping.”She puts her hand on my leg.“They are both snoring, and the television is watching them.”Her legs press into mine as she leans into me.

I look toward the window that is Lucy’s bedroom.“You don’t say?”

“I think it was them going to play hide-and-seek in the backyard that did it.They were both sweaty messes by the time they came in and went to take a shower.”I take one look at her and know it has to happen.

“This can’t go on.”I say the words, even before I can take them back.The back of my neck heats up at the same time the dryness forms in my eyes.

I watch her face as long as I can before I turn to face the darkness.“What can’t?”she asks the loaded question.

“This,” I say, not sure I can look at her while I say this, “me and you.”She moves her hand from my leg and I feel the heat disappear, and in its place is a cold I’ve felt before, a cold I know is so deep I’ll never feel the warmth again.“I can’t give you what you need.”I shake my head.

“How do you know what I need?”she asks.“You’ve never asked me what I want or what I need.”Her voice sounds like she’s breaking and it kills me that I’m the one breaking her right now.

“It doesn’t matter.Whatever it is that you need, I can’t give it to you.”The pain in my chest is stronger than it’s ever been.“I can barely give it to myself.It’s just all too much for me.My life was thrown upside down with Lucy and now with you and all of it.It’s just more than I can take.”

“I see,” she mutters softly.

“I never should have asked you to help me so much with Lucy.”I look over at her now, and it’s her not looking at me.She’s looking straight ahead, and I want nothing more in my life than for her to look at me.“It’s not right.”My heart speeds up so fast I have to put my hand on my chest to rub the pain away, but I know nothing can make it go away.

She gets up, standing beside me, and she finally looks at me, and I see the tears running down her face.“You never gave us a chance,” she declares, her voice broken and as empty as I feel.“You never gave yourself a chance.”She turns and walks back into the house, closing the door softly behind her, the sound of the door shutting cementing everything.

ChapterThirty-Three

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