Page 23 of The Kingdom of Flames and Ash

His face softened. “That isn’t what I meant. You’re injured, and I almost lost you last night. If Eiric hadn’t glamoured herselfas you—” His words cut off as agony lined his face. “I… I can’t even allow myself to fathom it because the thought alone has me going insane.”

“Don’t you think I feel the same way?” The double standard frustrated me more than anything else. “People want to hurt you as well. It isn’tjustme, and if you want the Unseelie to believe that you view me as an equal, then you need to back up your words with actions. I refuse to be left behind while you run into battle. How would you feel if I did the same thing to you?”

“You don’t think I know how that feels? Watching someone rush into danger while you get left behind? Remember, I had to watch you come close to dying so often in the gauntlet.” His fingers tangled into his dark hair, causing pieces to fall across his forehead. “Something that I never should’ve pushed upon you, and I never want you to experience anything close to that again. Being with me makes even your wings targets, and an Unseelie took that shot the first chance she got. Every time something happens, you’re the one who gets the brunt of the punishment, and I’m so tired of not being able to protect you.”

As turmoil and guilt swirled through him, I wanted to give in. But that wouldn’t improve our situation. In fact, it would do the opposite and empower him to continue pushing me aside when it mattered the most. I couldn’t allow the fated-mate bond to influence me to bend when I needed to stand straighter than ever. “How could you protect me when you left me behind?” I took a step back, removing the temptation to fall into his arms. “That could’ve been exactly what Eldrin wanted! Then I could have been imprisoned somewhere so one of his loyalists could drain me of my blood.”

He flinched, revealing that he hadn’t considered that.

“Furthermore, when have Ieverasked you to save me?” I patted my chest. “Because I don’t believe I ever have. Both my sets of parents ensured that I could defend myself. Evenon Earth, Mom and Dad taught Eiric and me how to defend ourselves if we got into trouble. I need you to trust me like I do you—trust that we can fight beside each other. I refuse to play it safe while you stick your neck out.”

“Is that more Earth speak?” His brows furrowed. “Because I don’t believe I’ve ever stuck my neck out. It seems like a peculiar thing to do, and I hope you’d inform me if I looked foolish.”

I laughed, unable to stop myself in time. I loved how he seemed more perplexed than amused by Earth sayings. Finnian ate the information up, but Tavish seemed to believe each figure of speech was a complex problem he’d rather do without.

“It is Earth speak.” I rolled my eyes, trying to force my expression back into indifference. “It means I won’t hide in our bedchamber while you put yourself in danger. It’s really rather simple.”

He smirked. “Ourbedchamber?”

My pulse froze, and I tilted my head back. I couldn’t believe I’d just assumed that his bedroom was ours, but it was too late to yank it back. “Yourbedchamber. I just meant—”

“You had it right before,” he interjected and took my hand. “It isours. It’s just the first time I’ve ever heard you say that, and I really enjoyed it. I know you haven’t made any changes to make it feel more like your own, but love, everything that is mine is also yours.”

Chest warming, I squeezed his hand. I could feel the truth of his words through our bond, but that wasn’t all that I needed. “Then I need that to include our enemies and danger as well. I want it all, Tavish. I want us to be beside each other in all ways. We’re stronger together, and though I know when we fight, we tend to get split up, we’re still working toward the same goal and can protect each other.”

He huffed and leaned his head back against the wall. “I can feel this is important to you, and you’re right. If you tried leavingme behind to fight, it wouldn’t work. I’d fly after you the same way you did after me this morning. But all I ever want is to keep you safe and happy.”

My anger vanished, leaving my shoulders feeling lighter than when Struan had informed us about the issue this morning. “And I want the same for you, but we both have to remember that we aren’t each other’s parents. We’re lovers, friends, and equals who embrace everything, even challenges, together.”

“I can agree to that, even if it is begrudgingly, as long as we acknowledge that there might be a situation where the other person must be part of the battle.” Tavish cupped my face and leaned forward. “And we need to realize that there are times when it could be best if one of us removed ourselves from the threat, such as if one of us is at significant risk. I don’t want to make a vow that can’t be broken and gets us both into trouble.”

I hadn’t considered this a vow, but I could see his point. We were coming to an understanding about how each of us wanted to be treated. “Fine, since you’re including yourself in the equation.”

He smirked. “I figured I had to in order to get your agreement.”

“Then you assumed correctly.”

The buzz from his hands on my skin had my annoyance with him fading away.

Nightbane huffed, no longer worried about what was brewing between us, and trotted back to the bed, where he lay down at the foot of the mattress.

“I didn’t mean to upset you, but I understand why you were.” He kissed my forehead tenderly. “My intent was anything but malicious. You’re my entire realm… more important than anything else, including my people. I understand that you can protect yourself. I’ve seen you overcome the odds way too many times. I just don’t want you to have to.”

Lifting my head, I kissed him gently.I know you weren’t being mean or thought me incapable. If I believed either of those was the reason, we wouldn’t be having a conversation right now. I’d be forced to prove myself to you with a sword.

I’ll spar with you any day, Princess.He winked but then frowned.Which brings up another point. I need to retrieve my sword from your mother—er—mom.

Even in my mind, he sounded strange usingmombecause, in Ardanos, we called our parents mother and father.

I understood this was important to him, even more so now that Eldrin had made sure everyone knew Tavish no longer had his father’s sword. Though I found that part a little silly, I understood that the sword itself was sentimental to my mate.Why don’t we eat some breakfast and find Mom so we can retrieve it? Then we can check on Finnian and Lorne.

I’d normally try to convince you to return to bed, but we already had a late start, and we need to inform Caelan of what transpired in the prison. Hopefully, he can help discern who is loyal to me and who is still following Eldrin beyond those already imprisoned for speaking out against me.His unease filtered through the bond, and my chest constricted.

We had no clue who was truly an ally or enemy.

My knees weakened, but I didn’t want Tavish to realize how much that impacted me.Then let’s go and see if we can find leverage against Eldrin.The last thing I wanted was for him to get the vows he was so desperate for from Tavish and my parents. Vowing that we wouldn’t harm him meant that he could go after both crowns, and we could never eliminate the threat.

That thought sent a shiver running down my spine.

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