Page 81 of Dice & Dekes

“You’re okay, Viktor,” Knight says, walking beside me as they wheel me toward the tunnel. “You’re gonna be okay.”

The crowd claps politely, but I barely hear it. Violet’s murmuring instructions. I catch snippets—concussion protocol, pupils, no vomiting yet. I’m trying to be brave, but everything inside me feels off-kilter.

As they guide me into the medical room, I catch Knight’s eyes again.

And I blurt it out.

“I want my wife.”

Chapter Twenty-One

Knova

Within seconds of Viktor hitting the ice, I’m on my feet. All around me, people are screaming and booing, but I can’t make a sound. My tongue has locked up. My vocal cords are frozen.

Head injury, my lizard-brain screams. Head injury. Just like Mick.

My vision tunnels. My skin goes clammy. I try to scream, but no sound comes out—just a strangled wheeze. I’m locked inside my own head, stuck replaying the last time someone I loved went down and didn’t get back up. Mick’s face flashes in my mind—his laugh, his dog tags, the impossible angle of his neck in the wreckage. I press a shaking hand to my collarbone, reaching for comfort, only to remember my tags aren’t there. I’m not wearing them anymore. But that’s a choice. Before, I lost them. Just like I could lose Viktor.

“Oh my gosh, Knova.” Sofia wrings her hands. “That looked serious. What do we do?”

I’m tempted to run to the edge of the seating section, vault down to the ice, and book it toward Viktor… but that’s not a reasonable response. On the jumbotron, the medical crew is already converging on Viktor. Dante may be a ginormous asshole, but he protects his investments, including the health of the team. He’ll have vetted every member of the medical crew himself.

“I need to get to him,” I whisper. “I need…”

“Knova.” Vivian Metcalfe grabs my arm. She’s sitting in the row behind me, visibly shaken by the way her brother just went down. “I’m going to go down and find him. Do you want to come with me?”

I nod, unable to form a complete sentence. It takes her a while to squeeze to the end of her row. I’m waiting for her when she does, and she loops her arm through mine. “Go slow,” she whispers. “I’m worried if I take the stairs too fast, I’ll trip over my own feet. I don’t think that would help with the situation, do you?” She flashes me a smile that I can’t quite manage to return.

Despite her warning about the pace, Vivian clearly knows where she’s going. I vaguely remember something happening last year with her now-husband, Coach Grady. The guy took a hit. At the time, I didn’t think much of it—not because I didn’t care, but because I simply didn’t know the coach that well—but Vivian must have been terrified.

When we manage to reach one of the quieter halls, Vivian gives my arm a squeeze. “I know you care about my brother. You’ve always been really good friends. I’m glad he has you.”

I manage a shaky laugh. “I don’t know about always. We’ve certainly had our ups and downs.”

A smile plays over Viv’s mouth. I wonder how much she knows about the secret boner situation. “He’s not always easy to love, but he’s nicer than he wants people to think. And you’re not always obliging, are you? I seem to recall you causing plenty of trouble when I was babysitting.” Her arched, no-nonsense eyebrow makes me grimace at a dozen less-than-ideal memories of my childhood shenanigans.

“Touche.”

“At any rate, you’re there for him when it counts, and I appreciate that.”

Her words make something squeeze behind my ribs. I’ve never had a sister, but in this moment, I wonder if this is what it would feel like—being seen, defended, welcomed. Vivian isn’t just offering support. She’s offering family. And I want it. Badly.

It occurs to me that in marrying Viktor, I’ve also gained two sisters. Vanessa doesn’t live in Vegas anymore, but Vivian’s here for the long hall. When I was little, I wanted a sister, but in adulthood, I’ve mostly been a guy’s gal. I’m loud, I’m mouthy, and I sometimes have trouble connecting to other women, which has always bugged me, though never enough to do anything about it.

But Vivian’s already been like an older sister. I wonder if she could ever think of me as family.

With the annulment in the works, I suppose it doesn’t matter. The thing is, I’ve already been second-guessing myself on that front, and I’m just beginning to realize that being with him comes with more than just our marriage. Being with him would connect me to another family, one that I already like. Our relationship could push me to branch out in other ways. I can’t see myself coaching Special Olympics athletes like he does, but maybe I could volunteer to teach emergency response courses?

Being with Viktor could make me not just happier, but more complete. Which is slightly terrifying.

Although none of this will matter if his head injury is as bad as I fear. People like to say that lightning doesn’t strike twice, but that’s not true. Lightning remembers. As an atmospheric phenomenon, it’s drawn to familiar ground. If I lose Viktor now, it will break me in ways I’m not prepared to consider.

We finally turn into a hallway where a pair of security guards are blocking a door. On the far side, I can see Violet Sawyer, the team’s trainer and PT, examining Viktor. From this angle, I can’t see his face, but it has to be him. I need to get in there. Now.

One of the security guards steps in the way. “Ms. Hale, I’m afraid I can’t let you in there.”

“She’s with me,” Vivian says. Her hand is still closed over my arm, gripping me tight.

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