Page 25 of Dice & Dekes

“You say that, but you’re smiling. And I like seeing you smile. I wish that happened more.”

He’s right, I realize. I’m grinning at a dad-joke made at my expense. It’s such a silly little thing, but the fact that he’s joking with me, notatme, is… a relief. Or something. I’m so exhausted that I can barely think straight.

The car settles into a pocket of quiet, and for a second, it feels like the air between us is… soft. Not awkward, not flammable. Just easy. I almost forget why we can’t ever quite be more than frenemies.

By the time we pull up to Knight’s place, I want nothing more than to faceplant onto his guest bed. I drag my duffle out of the back seat and pause by Viktor’s vehicle.

I hesitate with my hand on the door. There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to leave this bubble we’ve created in the car. Where the world isn’t on fire, I’m not the family disappointment, and Viktor isn’t the guy who broke my heart. He’s just the guy who showed up.

“Thank you,” I tell him. “Seriously. You didn’t need to drive over and miss your post-game celebration—”

“I did,” he interrupts.

I shake my head. “No. You didn’t. But… I’m really glad you did. I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier, too. I guess I was having a bit of a freakout.”

The sharp, impish lines of his face smooth out into something gentler—like he’s remembering how to be the boy who once made me feel safe. “Hey, it’s no problem. You’d have done the same for me.”

Yeah, I probably would have. What am I to make of that?

“Call me if you need anything. I’m right across the street.” Viktor nods to his condo as if I didn’t help him move in.

“Thanks,” I say again. This is so goddamn weird. We’re never this genial. Too much time has passed without a direct insult. I wouldn’t have thought Viktor would miss an opportunity to tease me, but he’s being so nice. Suspiciously nice. If that’s the case, though, I can’t imagine what he’s after. He’s never apologized for how he treated me in high school, so what’s the deal?

This is not a puzzle I’m capable of solving tonight, so I wave, hike my duffle higher on my shoulder, and head to my brother’s front door.

Sofia meets me at the entryway and hustles me inside. “Oh, you poor thing!” She examines my face, my hair, and my hands, all the while making little tutting noises like a mother hen. “Knight’s on the phone with your dad. Let me get you set up in the spare room.”

I follow her to the room, passing Knight, who waves at me while speaking on his cell. On the way down the hall, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. There’s ash on my face, Ireekof smoke, and my hair is out of control. I avert my gaze; I donotwant to deal with this messy, helpless, hopeless version of myself.

Sofia runs around the guest room, checking to make sure that there are towels in theen suitebathroom, even though I’m sure she went through this whole routine before I came over.

“I put some aloe by the sink,” she tells me. “Do you need anything else?”

Knight appears in the door of the guest room. “Geeze, Knova, what a night, huh? Want to talk about it?”

I drop my duffle onto the floor. “Not really. I’m ready for today to be over.”

“Sure thing.” Knight reaches out his hand, and Sofia takes it. Ugh, they’re so adorable together. It’s almost enough to make me believe I could have something like that. “We’ll see you in the morning, sis.”

They offer a few more platitudes before finally shutting the door behind them. A blissful silence falls over me. Alone at last, I head to the bathroom to strip down and finally get clean.

I spend longer than usual in a lukewarm shower, being very mindful of my minor burns, washing off the smoke and residue of the night. My muscles relax in the steam, and I let go of all the tension I’ve been holding. Today has been awful, but nobody got hurt, and I haven’t lost anything that can’t be replaced. I’m incredibly lucky in that regard. The worst thing about starting that fire was the knowledge that I put people I love in danger, but we’re safe now.

I’m safe.

It’s going to be okay.

Once I’m out of the shower, I pull on the pajamas Sofia laid out for me and cover my burns in aloe. The guest bed is waiting for me, the sheets cool and soft around me as I snuggle in and close my eyes. I don’t usually like going to bed with damp hair, but at the moment, nothing could stop me from drifting off to sleep at a moment’s notice.

Fifteen seconds later, a thump from upstairs tests that theory. Another thump follows soon after, accompanied by the groan of springs.

“Yeah?” My brother’s voice is faint but recognizable. “You like that?”

I open one eye and stare up at the ceiling.Please don’t let this be happening.

“Mm, yeah.” Sofia’s voice is breathless.

“I know you do, you naughty thing.”

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