Page 130 of Capri

For being so small, she’s hella strong.

“You’re scaring me,” I say, looking at her in question.

She propels my body to the bathroom, instructing me to follow her lead. “Shower. You stink. You’ve got five minutes, tops.” Her nose scrunches as she takes a whiff of me. “And for the love of God, brush your teeth and meet us in the living room.”

“Us?” I croak, still trying to see clearly.

“Capri, just do what I tell you.” This is the most intense and serious I think I’ve ever seen Collie. That’s why I take the quickest shower of my life, brush my teeth, and throw on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. The same outfit I’ve worn every day for the past two months straight.

Well, I’ve rotated through three.

Unless I’m working. In that case, I dress for work and change as soon as I get home. It’s been a monotonous few months in Timber Heights.

Entering the living room, it looks like a fucking therapy session has been set up. One single chair is placed in the middle of the living room, right by the TV. With my parents and Collie scattered across my sectional, looking at me with steadfast determination.

“Anyone want to explain what’s going on? I haven’t even had my tea yet.”

“Honey, we’re concerned,” Mom says painfully.

“I knew I should have changed the lock,” I mumble under my breath.

“Let’s be serious now, sweetie,” Dad says. “We only want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself.”

I gape at him. “I’m doing fine. You guys don’t need to worry about me.”

Collie barks out a laugh and it’s full of annoyance. “Is that what you call hiding in your apartment for two months, not eating or cleaning? God, Capri. Your room smells like horse shit.”

I roll my eyes, feeling defensive. “I’m coming off a breakup, okay? I don’t even know if it was a breakup if we weren’t technically together. But he left me, and this is how I’m choosing to cope with it.”

“Capri, look around you. This place hasn’t seen a vacuum in weeks. Your neighbor, Amy, even asked us where you’ve been. This isn’t healthy, honey,” Mom says.

This isn’t healthy.Those same words I heard exactly two months ago. Words that have replayed in my head over and over again.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Mom.” I feel dead inside. Literally. Like my life has taken a rough turn and I’m this close to losing control and falling off a cliff.

At least then I’d be on the same level as my heart—on the ground in pieces.

I know that sounds morbid, and no, I’m not suicidal. But I have regrets and they’re eating me alive. Time has only made them worse.

Why is it that when the dust settles, we see things more clearly? After it’s too late.

“Have you talked to Jones, Capri? Have you even tried to reach out?” Dad asks, and my eyes take in the graying around his face. Despite getting older, he’s a handsome man with a big heart. I know he only wants me to be happy.

And I was. Until I fucked it up.

I huff, running my hands through my hair in frustration. “Of course not. He made it perfectly clear we were done and he never wanted to see me again.”

“That didn’t sound like what happened to me,” Collie says.

I cut her a look. “That is what happened, and it was the result of my stupidity and panic. I didn’t think I was ready. I fucked up, okay? I realize that. Now, can you all please let me be?”

Mom and Dad both go to speak at the same time, but not before Collie shouts, enough to silence the entire room. “Enough of the shit, Capri!” She walks beside me, crouching down in front of me in my chair. “You’re my sister and I love you, but you can guess again if you think I’m gonna sit around and watch you self-sabotage.”

“I’m sad, Cols. Not plotting my death. There’s a difference.”

Her hands find her hips. “Why? Because of a past shitty relationship? Because your husband cheated with your best friend and you were blindsided?”

I nod. “Basically.”

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