Page 132 of Capri

I smile at my sister. My best friend and truly the most caring person I know. “You make it sound so easy,” I laugh, my gut churning with worry.

“So, show him. Show him how easy you can be to love and, most importantly, how you promise to love him back. I think if anyone would be understanding, it’s Jones.”

“You didn’t see his face, Cols. I destroyed him. I can’t even forgive myself. How should I expect him to forgive me?”

Collie smiles, wiping a tear from my face. “We all do crazy and horrible things sometimes when we’re in love. You had a moment. And one day, Jones will have a moment, too. Forgive yourself, ask him for forgiveness, then fuck it out.”

I throw back my head and chuckle, thankful to have a sister as genuine as Collie. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Cols.”

“Well, for starters, you’d still be in bed smelling like horse shit and rotten takeout. You can make it up to me later.” She grins.

“You got it,” I say, kissing her cheeks and gathering up the rest of my things. “I’m not sure what I packed, but at this point, it doesn’t even matter. I’m ready.” I take a deep breath.

If he turns me away, I’ll never recover. I know that much is true.

There’s no one quite like Jones Archer in this world, and I was the fool who hurt him. Who lost sight of her love for him in the middle of blind panic.

Who owes him a big-ass apology.

“Go get him, babe. And kiss Romeo and Luca for me while you’re at it.”

Will do. It looks like I’ve got some groveling to do.

43

JONES

“Where’sthe goddamn guest list? I thought I told you to keep track?” I snap.

“Look behind you, boss,” Romeo tells me, eyes filled with concern.

I jerk my head around, finding the stacked notebook I’ve been driving myself mad trying to find.

“Great,” I say, playing off my assumption. “Get back to work.”

Thankfully, he doesn’t argue and leaves me. Leaves me to my own space, the place I feel fucking haunted by the void in my chest. I’m an angry, bitter mess, and I realize I’m taking it out on the people I care about, but I don’t know how to shake it.

Shake her.

It’s been two long and torturous months without Capri, and I feel every second of her absence. She became this cure for me, something I now realize fought off the loneliness. Cured the loneliness.

I’ve done nothing but slam myself with work, tirelessly aiming to take on more to keep myself busy. Spoiler alert: it’s not working.

She’s all I can think about. Her lavender smell, the raspy sound of her voice early in the morning, the slickness of her skin pressed against mine, the kindness she showed my mother…

Fuck. I replay her last words to me over and over again.

My own husband abandoned me. How am I supposed to know you won’t abandon me like you did your mother?

At first, I was hurt. Hurt that she would make a comment like that about me and my mother. I meant what I said about wanting a life partner who would support me and encourage me.

However, I had no way of knowing who nurse Vivian was to Capri.

It makes sense she would trigger her, especially given she was her best friend. That’s a lot of damage that I’m sure Capri never had the chance to fully deal with, given her impending marriage was the priority.

And then seeing her with me. And her hand on mine. Fuck. I know that had to suck for her to see, leading to the spiral.

The more I sit on it, the more I understand. I’ll always have sympathy for what she’s gone through, but that doesn’t mean I have to accept the affliction toward me. I’ve done my hardest to make sure Capri feels loved and cherished.

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