Page 1 of Capri

PROLOGUE

CAPRI

“Mom,I’m sorry. You know I wish things were different.” I close the front door behind me, shuffling two grocery bags in my arms and bringing them into the kitchen.

Where is he? His car isn’t in the driveway, and it’s almost ten o’clock.

“I just don’t understand, honey. That’s all. He’s never home. You always come to visit alone, and for God’s sake, Capri, he missed his own birthday dinner.”

Yeah, that one hurt like a bitch. Drew misses everything because he’s “working and really needs this big promotion.”

I believe it less and less every time.

No need to worry, husband. I’ll just teach all day, come home to an empty house at night, and make sure everything you need is ready for you when you decide to finally show up.

That’sifhe shows up.

I go to bed…he’s gone. I wake up…he’s gone. The only evidence I have of Drew’s presence in our home is an empty coffee cup in the sink and his dirty suit in a pile on the floor of our bedroom.

Nothing more, nothing less.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” I tell her calmly, feeling numb at this point. “I’m used to it.”

“Well, you shouldn’t be. Your father and I expect more from him and the way he treats our daughter. It’s inexcusable. He’s your husband,” Mom rants, as if I don’t already know that. “In my day, that used to mean something.”

It means something to me. That might be why I’ve stayed all this time.

So, I pack his lunches, drop his clothes at the dry cleaner, and leave his side of the bed ready for him until I don’t have the liberty to anymore.

It doesn’t stop my heart from breaking, though.

“I gave up hope years ago, Mom. When I was alone through the darkest time of my life.”

“I know, honey. I know, and my heart breaks all over again for you because of that.”

When Drew and I got married five years ago, I thought I found my person. The man I would spend forever with. Little did I know, I’d be spending these five years alone.

In fact, I’m more alone now than I was before we were married. The walls of our half-million-dollar home don’t speak, dinner doesn’t make itself, and the intimacy that typically comes with a married partnership is nonexistent.

The times when it is, I feel nothing. I will say, it’s been longer than I can even remember, but when we are intimate, I lay there like a statue, terrified to be insulted for doing something wrong or how my stomach rolls over while I’m on top.

I’m a walking definition of depleted physical confidence.

At some point, being married to Drew became a chore. I battle myself every day about whether I should leave him for neglecting me so deeply or give him the benefit of the doubt and trust him when he says work will lessen after this promotion.

That he’ll finallyseeme after his promotion.

But there have been years of promotions. Years of opportunities he’s achieved, only for another to land in his lap.

When will I finally become his priority? When will he finally be home before midnight?

Muffled noises on the line remind me I’m still on the phone with my mom. Since I feel myself getting more frustrated by the second, I tell her I’ll call her in the morning. “Hey, Mom. I’m gonna go, okay? I need to get these groceries put away. I love you and appreciate you checking on me.”

After leaving my parents’ tonight was the only time I had to go shopping. Putting everything away is the part I loathe.

“Okay, honey. I’m here if you need me. Love you.” And she hangs up.

I take a deep breath and rest my head against the kitchen counter. I’m exhausted. The loneliness makes the stale air stifling.

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