Page 21 of Samuel's Heart

“I’m not that hungry right now. I’ll keep it for later.” I place everything back into the bag just to have something to do.

“What happened to you?” The question is out of my mouth before I can process what I’m going to say. Samuel’s cough fills the silence between us. I pat him on the back, trying to help him recover, and only stop when he moves away so he can pick up his drink.

I didn’t want to ask something so personal, but the question is out in the open now. I’m not going to take it back. He knows more about me than I do, I’m sure. Someone who can get that kind of information about donor recipients can sift through my life in a second. And I’m sure he did. No one trusts a stranger—unless they’re stupid. Samuel might be a lot of things, but stupidity doesn’t come to mind when I look at him.

“I had an accident.”

I wait patiently for him to continue, but nothing more comes, instead he goes back to his food.

“Is that it? That’s all I get?” I’m not sure why I’m insisting on an answer. I should be grateful for what he’s doing, but I’m at a disadvantage and need something from him so I don’t feel like a pathetic charity case.

“I’m sure you read the news.”

“Yes, like you, I did my research. Still, I would like you to tell me.”

He looks at me as if I’ve grown three heads, then returns to his food again.

“I was kidnapped by a friend’s ex-boyfriend and thrown out of a window.”

My gasp eclipses the sounds around us. That, I believe, is the moment Samuel realises what he said because his face goes pale, and he opens his mouth, but no sound comes out.

Then my worry takes over and what’s most important is for him to be okay.

“Should you be running around like this when you haven’t fully recovered?”

“I’m okay,” he says, though there’s obvious suffering embedded in his tone.

“I’m sorry. I should have noticed that you’re still recovering.” Shame is a constant companion, but why does it seem even more pronounced right now?

“I’m okay.”

I take a mental step back because I don’t want to piss him off more. Samuel seems to notice, and he pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers, as if trying to rein in whatever is pushing to come out.

“I’m sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m well enough to travel, and I’m the one that offered help.”

I nod to acknowledge his apology, and smile to let him know that nothing he said offended me.

“I saw the article, but there was nothing about you being kidnapped or thrown out of a window.”

“That should have been a secret, but I have a big mouth when you’re around.” His smile makes the room brighter and warmer, as if a small sun has entered the room. A sun that’s only for me.

“Secrets are bound to be shared. You’re lucky I don’t have anyone to share it with.” My heart doesn’t fill with the usual sadness; instead, it’s filled with excitement at the idea of being someone Samuel can trust.

“Are you done?” The sudden change slaps me in the face and makes me dizzy from the mood swing.

“Yeah, I’m done. “

“You need some sleep, so I want to be on the road before the evening traffic.”

My heart expands with long-forgotten emotions, like I’m a balloon filled with hot air. I hide the smirk pulling at my lips from the joy of having someone caring for me.

“Tomorrow is going to be a long day,” he says before standing up. He takes the rubbish from the table and walks to the bin, leaving the table cleaner than before. He’s a goody-goody with some sprays of bearishness that make him stand out from the crowd even more.

The next part of the trip is long, the traffic heavy and slow, making two hours become four. After exhausting the common pleasantries, and not wanting to get into anything too serious, we spend the rest of the time discussing music while listening to the radio.

I’m ready to settle in when we arrive at the hotel, and I’m glad when we’re on our way to our rooms less than five minutes later.

We say goodnight at the door before entering our designated rooms. I’ll have some of the food from the services if I’m hungry later, but right now I need a long shower.

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