Page 71 of Samuel's Heart

I can’t believe it happened, and I believe even less that it happened while I was looking for my lost love. However, his presence, kindness, and need to help others has made my heart sing again. Seeing him broken, crying for a mistake he didn’t make, and devoting himself to a life of penance while trying tomake other people’s lives better. That’ what made me fall in love with him.

“Can you believe I didn’t even notice at first, and by the time I did, I needed a new heart?”

Matthew’s voice brings me back from my thoughts.

“We always think that something bad can’t happen to us,” I say. We never know when life will decide to be a bitch and leave us with only half a heart. Or with the need for a new one.

“That’s why I’ve decided to share my story and start a campaign to support the opt-out system for organ donation. Losing someone we love is devastating, but knowing that someone was saved and living a new life thanks to their organs helps. We also have created a non-profit organisation called John’s Gift to increase the number of organ and blood donors across the UK. More people are aware of the importance of telling their family and friends they wish to donate. That will give more people the chance to receive an organ and live a life they couldn’t have had before the transplant.”

“John’s Gift?”

“Yes, I wanted to honour him. Also, I never want to forget what he did for me and what he gave back. I owe him my life and want everyone to know about it.”

Tears are now running down my face. I can’t stop, because while I’m in pain, I’m also pleased that he will continue to live through this man. A man who’s accepted this organ like the gift it is and is doing his best to help others receive the same miracle.

“John would be happy about this.”

“I’m sure he is,” Matthews says, placing a hand over his heart.

I look at him through watery eyes, wishing I could do the same. To hear John’s heart beating for the last time—even if it’s inside Matthew’s body. However, to do that, I have to tell him my story, and break the promise I made to Samuel. And that’s never going to happen.

He gave me more than I could have hoped for before meeting him, and in return, he only asked for me to respect his rules, and that’s what I’m going to do.

“Rory lost someone, and his organs were donated as well,” Samuel says to Matthew. He keeps his eyes on me, and smiles at me when my eyes dart to him, when his words hit me.

“I’m sorry for your loss, but I’m glad someone got to live because of him.”

“I’m glad as well,” I say to Matthew.

He walks towards me, and I look at him with uncertainty, because I’m not sure what his intentions are.

“Thank you for sharing him with the world,” he says, then takes my hand and places it on his chest right above his heart.

John’s heart.

And it’s beating, strong and beautiful, just like it did when it was inside John. I hear the sound through my hand, and more tears run down on my face. Then Matthew hugs me, and I let him, imagining that the arms pulling me in and keeping me close are John’s.

Then, I whisper the only thing I’ve wanted to say to him since I lost him.

“I love you. Goodbye.”

Matthew’s arms tighten around me for a few seconds, and then he lets me go.

I take a step back and wipe my face with the sleeves of my shirt.

“Thank you,” I say to him, when I’m able to talk.

“No, thank you,” he says. “It’s only because of people like you I’m alive.”

A tissue appears in front of me, and I turn my head to find Samuel close to me. I take it and look at the strong, beautiful man in front of me, conveying with my eyes how grateful I am for what he did. Even his eyes are wet. It must have been hard for him as well.

“Are you okay?” he asks, and I nod before replying.

“Yeah, I am. Thank you.”

He doesn’t acknowledge my thanks, but places a hand on my shoulder and squeezes for a second. His touch helps me, like it usually does, to settle my whirling emotions.

Matthew walks back to the bench he was sitting on before we arrived, and leaves us alone, probably understanding how difficult this moment is for me.

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