Page 75 of Samuel's Heart

His smile is big, and so similar to Adrian’s, I can’t stop myself from reaching out and ruffling his hair affectionately.

“Yes, I was.”

“I saw you in the pictures. Mummy and Eric always show me.”

“We used to spend a lot of time together.”

“Can you tell me stories? Mummy always says, ‘Samuel knows a lot of them.’”

Tears fill my eyes when I look at him. I take his hand and pull him close. I sniffle, but push the tears back, because I don’t want to make Daniel cry too.

“I have so many! Jump up and sit on my leg and I’ll share them with you,” I say, trying to push back the tears that are threatening to spill.

I spot Lucy near the door, with her eyes full of tears, and I send a trembling smile her way when she mouths the words ‘Thank you,’ at me.

The rest of the afternoon is spent remembering Adrian. I share stories of him, of our time together. Laughter and tears are shared, and there’s some healing done too. Daniel’s happiness and giggles heal parts of me I didn’t even know were hurting.

When we leave Adrian’s house, I’m a changed man. But I’m also a man who understands he needs help to overcome what happened that night. Especially if I’m motivated by the chance to build something with Rory, which I really want. Because, in all the mess that our lives were, we somehow found each other andcame to love one another. That’s something I don’t want to miss out on, because if there is anything the Adrian incident taught me, it’s that we shouldn’t waste time if we’re sure of what we want. And right now, I’m sure I want Rory in my life.

Our departure is full of hugs and promises to see each other again soon. I’m happy to make that promise.

As soon as we’re near the car, I pull Rory against me and lean in to kiss him. I want the kiss to show him how important he is to me. I want the kiss to make a statement about what my intentions are. But the kiss doesn’t seem to fill the need I have to share my heart with him. So I pull away, and wait until he opens his eyes and is looking at me.

“I love you, too.”

His eyes shimmer with happiness and the love I know he has for me. Then he leans in and kisses me again, just a brush of lips that makes my heart sing, and I pull him into a tight hug.

“Thank you,” I say to him, leaning in for a kiss. What he gave me today . . . there are no words I can say to thank him enough. I kiss him again and then nip lightly at his lips, needing a deeper connection.

“There is nothing to thank me for,” he says after pulling back.

“I love you.” And I love the smile that curves his lips, and the light that shines in his eyes, only for me.

“I love you, too,” he replies, making my world right.

There isn’t anything more I can ask for.

“Let’s go home,” I say to him. I need to show him with my body how important he’s become to me.

He leans in and kisses me, long and hard.

“Take me home.” With a wink that makes me hard and ready, I follow.

I’d follow him everywhere.

Epilogue

One year later

Samuel

I always thought that saving others was what I was supposed to do, but only now, after facing all my fears, I understand that forgiveness is the only thing that helps you move forward. It’s the only thing that gives you peace, the strength to keep going, and to do your best for those no longer here.

Now, one year after following Ro and knocking at Lucy’s door, I’m a new man. A person I’m proud of. A person who still helps others, but also a person who takes care of the people he loves.

I can’t believe we are all here in our house, mine and Ro’s.

Lucy, Daniel, and Eric, who is now part of the family.

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