Page 61 of Unmasking You

I’m speechless. For a few seconds my brain goes haywire, a red alarm blaring and a robotic voice sayingmalfunction, malfunction.Then a big sign pops up showing the words,“He said yes.”

What the heck just happened? Do I have a date with Jamie?

“Please kick me, because I believe I’m dreaming,” I say to him in a shaky voice.

Tears pop out while I watch Jamie with his head thrown backwards, and he’s laughing. And I’m struck by a thunderbolt.

I love him.I’ve never stopped loving him.

I open my mouth to tell him, but Karl chooses that moment to pull us into their conversation. I could kill him if I wasn’t so happy. I turn towards him and Alexi, while I keep my leg plastered to Jamie, and my joy grows when he pushes back.

Maybe, just maybe—because I’ve suffered a lot believing he would never forgive me—it was worth being separated for a while. We both needed time to come to terms with the pain we inflicted and received.

“Tell me more about this project of yours,” Jamie says looking very interested.

“You probably know I’m very involved with the Pride to Be foundation. It’s my baby, even if I’m not really part of the committee.” I stop for a moment because that always hits me hard, being at the mercy of my father and not having any control over something I love and I want to make grow. But I learnt a long time ago that life is unfair and kicks you when you’re down.

“Yeah,” Jamie says, and I’m sure he’s remembering that conversation I had with my dad on the phone.

“Anyway, just because I’m not in charge doesn’t mean I can’t do anything to help them have a future.”

“Mate,” Karl says, but I wave him off.

I don’t look at Jamie because I don’t want to see pity there. Ten years and I’m still under my father’s thumb so much that I can’t protect something I love. I only hope that this time I’m making the correct choices.

“My idea is to have coding classes, or anything linked to technology, as we all know that’s the future. I can have that with other companies, but we would like to work with you, because on top of that we want them to have the chance to do apprenticeships. Because they’ve suffered already, I don’t want them to end up working for someone who’ll make them feel less because of who they are, or who they love.” I look at Jamie straight in the eyes, because I know he’ll understand where I’m coming from. He lived that. We both lived that in our skin.

His eyes are wet, and unconsciously I extend my hand under the table and place it on his leg. My own eyes get wet when he places his hand on top of mine.

I don’t want to believe we’re okay until he tells me so, because if it’s not true, I’ll be devastated.

“I’m aware that your company works primarily with LGBTQ+ organisations, and I’d like for you to offer the people we support a chance, so they can go out into the world as functional members of society. I want to give them a chance to be happy, to be proud of who they are.”

“We do that,” Alexi says. “But we aren’t big enough to support a project like this.”

I understand, but they have the right contacts to make this project a success.

“We do have the right contacts, though,” Jamie says to Alexi.

I want to laugh out loud at Alexi’s face clearly saying, “I was trying to save you from spending time with your old bully.”

Jamie continues, unaware of his friend’s turmoil. “We’ll have to oversee everything, because I don’t want to have any problems, but I believe we can do that.”

“So, we’re doing this?” Alexi asks, placing a hand on Jamie’s arm.

I want to move it away, because I don’t want anyone touching him, especially when nothing between us has been settled. And also because I’m afraid he’ll change his mind and I’ll lose the opportunity to spend more time with him, and to give a better chance at life to my kids.

“Yeah, we are,” Jamie says, and he pats his friend’s hand before pulling away.

I want his attention back on me, so I lean closer.

“Are you going to teach classes?” The idea of Jamie being a teacher and wearing those hot as fuck glasses makes me hard. If we ever get to make love one day, I want to fuck him with his glasses on.

My face goes ablaze when I notice all eyes on me. Jamie’s smirk and bashful eyes tell me we were on the same wave of dirty thoughts.

How I wish it was only the two of us, in a place where there weren’t eyes to watch me kissing him until we were both hard and ready for more.

I shake my head, because this is not the time or place to have these thoughts.

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