Page 9 of Unmasking You

Karl

Don’t let your father boss you around.

Easier said than done.

I lean against the seat, asking myself the same questions that have been buzzing in my head since I saw his picture in that magazine.

Is he really okay?

What am I doing here?

I should be going to work instead of letting my fixation on Jamie guide my every move and thought. If my father gets a whiff of this, he’s going to make me pay, hitting me where it hurts. He’ll retaliate with the only thing I care about, the only thing that has kept me sane all this time, the only thing keeping me feeling human and not like a monster.

No one will know, though, because I’m going to stay hidden in the shadows.

Getting his address was easier than I thought. I had my assistant looking for it, and a couple of hours later, I had it on my desk.

The debate over whether to follow Jamie’s request to stay away or to satisfy my need to check he’d survived school was short-lived. And so here I am, waiting to get a glimpse of him through the window of my car.

I’m not even sure what spying on him will give me, and if I get caught, he’s probably going to punch me this time around. However, I can’t stay away. It’s like that encounter months ago has shifted something inside me, bringing me back to what we were and putting a veil over the bad things I’d done. Every time we see one another again, more memories pop into my head, and I’m sixteen again, smitten with the geeky new guy at school.

I didn’t think much of him when he entered the room; he was just another new student, and I was too busy talking with one of my friends about meeting up after school. But then his voice, so timid and frightened, commands my complete attention. When I glance at him, something new opens up inside me, feelings I’ve never felt for another person. His pale face, with that wild hair, as if he’d jumped out of bed and run his hands through it to comb it. His cheeks are pink, probably from shyness, embarrassment, or maybe he ran here. His body is small, and he looks like he doesn’t spend a lot of time outside. But what really gets me, sinking its nails inside me, are his eyes. I don’t mean that beautiful green forest colour, but the way they seem like they’re devouring everything around him, like he’s hungry for knowledge, as if everything around him is beautiful.

He’s completely different from me—head of the class, first in everything because my father demands it, because my name means I must be the best at everything. It means people must follow me. It means I need to set an example for everyone, even when that example is so far from what I am that we might as well be the sun and the moon.

There is no freedom in my life. Every step I take is controlled by the person who feeds me, and there’s no point in rebelling because I’ll be the one to lose.

But this boy is free, and I want that. I want to grab it with both hands and never let it go. I want to spend time with him and learn how to be free and courageous. And I want to be someone that I’m not, someone better.

“Mr Campbell?” Could I really be that lucky? Being his chaperone means I’ll have a reason to spend time with him.

“Madam.” I’m quick to respond. I don’t look around, convinced everyone will hear my eagerness. When no one whispers, I let my breath out slowly, trying to regain my composure.

“Can you please show Mr Wilson around for a few days?”

It takes a second to reply because I’m astonished that my prayers have been answered.

“Happy to, Mrs Brown,” I say, keeping my excitement hidden.

I watch as Jamie walks towards me, and the only thing I can hear is the thumping of my heart, getting louder with his every step closer.

“Hi.” I welcome him as soon as he’s close, eager to hear his voice again.

I need to find a way to spend more time with him. I want to know everything. Every single detail. What does he like? What does he hate? I want to find things in common that will allow us to spend time together.

I just need to make sure not to ruin everything like I usually do.

Voices outside the car pull me back to reality just in time to see Jamie and a woman leaving his building.

I’m not sure if it’s because of the memory I’ve just relived, but it’s like the first time.

He’s still as beautiful as he was back then, even if he’s all man now. His face is still as pale as it was, so he’s clearly still spending more time inside than outside.

Then something white comes into view, and it’s the cutest little thing ever. I watch the two as they walk, and I laugh at Jamie who bends down every couple of steps to talk to the dog and make sure the leash is not too uncomfortable, while the dog pulls on it, eager to move along and find something to mark.

They cross the street, never even realising I’m here watching their every move.

I wish I could just jump out of the car, walk over there and flirt with him a bit, and then spend the day with them playing with the dog, kissing and touching Jamie whenever I want, and not being rejected.

---