Page 82 of Ace of Spades

No reply.

I check again anyway, like maybe this time, it’ll be different. Like maybe the stupid little “delivered” bubble will miraculously change to a text from him that says “on my way.”

Nothing. It’s still sitting there. Unanswered.

Julian said he’d stop by after class. Something about needing a break from the constant grind of pretending college parties were fun when everyone was performing for Instagram.

But he never showed.

And I’m not stupid.

I saw the photos. The ones of him and some jocks from EGU out by a bonfire on the mainland. All those polished faces, bright teeth and beer cans raised like trophies. Julian with his head tipped back in laughter. His arm slung around some guy in a backwards hat who looked like he probably plays some hard core sport like rugby.

To be fair, he didn’t post it. But somebody tagged him in it. And I should be happy for him. He’s out there carving out a place for himself in this world.

Julian looks like he belongs.

Meanwhile, I had a chance to hang out with the SKC crew and blew it waiting for him.

Now, I’m sitting on the balcony of the apartment overlooking the area where he’s probably at right now, picking at the chipped polish on my thumbnail.

The night is cool. Too quiet. The kind that gets into your chest and settles.

The kind that makes you miss your mom so hard it’s physical.

I pull out my phone again.

No new messages. No missed calls. Just me.

Still not really one of the crew. Still the outsider at SKC who gets polite nods but is kept at a distance. Still the girl people aren’t sure is here to stay.

God, I wish my mom was here.

She’d tell me to stop spiraling. To get up, go for a ride.

That I don’t need anyone’s permission to take up space.

But right now? I don’t even know where I belong.

I stare out at the road, thinking about hopping on my bike and justgoing.

But then my thumb hovers over another name.

Theo.

I hesitate. He’s Levi’s kid. The one person I shouldn’t get close to. I don’t want him getting the wrong idea.

But he’s also the only one who’s reallyseenme since I got here. The only one who checks in, and talks to me like I’m not temporary.

Probably because he likes you, you idiot.

I don’t let myself overthink it.

I hit call. And he picks up on the second ring.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” I say. I try to keep it light. “What are you doing right now?”

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