Page 84 of Ace of Spades

We stop near the edge of the cliff. The ocean stretches endlessly in front of us, slate gray and heaving it’s fury against the rock wall.

“He didn’t just raise me,” Theo says. “He saved her. And Josie. Again and again. Even when she kept leaving. Even when she lied and kept using. Even now.”

I’m quiet, because there’s nothing to say that doesn’t sound small.

“I hated him for a while,” Theo admits. “Because I thought he was choosing her over me. But now? I think he just never figured out how to stop being the one who holds everything together.”

My throat tightens.

“That’s a lot.”

“Yeah, he blames himself for putting them in that predicament. If the show hadn’t been such a success. If he hadn’t worked so much. If he would’ve just focused on us… his family.” Theo says. “Then maybe things would’ve been different.”

“Is that what you believe Theo?”

He looks out into the dark ocean and shakes his head.

“Nah. I think mom was going to make her choices. And who are we to know if it would’ve made any difference?”

I nod at that. “Yeah, we all make our choices.”

The wind gusts harder. I tug my coat tighter around me, suddenly aware of just how cold it is.

We stand there for a long moment, the air sharp with salt and sea spray, the ground solid beneath our boots.

“I didn’t know any of that,” I finally say.

“Most people don’t.” He kicks at the dirt again. “Levi doesn’t talk. He just... acts. And sometimes, it’s hard to tell where the man ends and the weight he’s dragging begins.”

I turn to face him.

“Why are you telling me this?”

Theo looks at me. Really looks.

“Because I think you’re starting to matter to him. And if you’re gonna be part of this world... you should know what it costs.”

The words settle deep in my chest.

I think about Levi’s silence. His storms. The way his touch steadies and shatters me in the same breath.

And I think about Julian, drifting. About the way the crew still looks at me like they’re waiting to see if I’ll run. About how I’ve spent so long not belonging anywhere that the ache of almost-fitting hurts worse than being alone.

The sky shifts to a lighter grey as the clouds part slightly giving room for the moon to glow. The lighthouse stands still and silent ahead of us. A witness.

“I don’t know what I am to him,” I whisper.

Theo’s quiet for a beat.

“Maybe that’s what scares him.”

The last time Levi cared, he had everything taken from him.

His wife. His show. His relationship with his son.

If I were him… I’d be scared too.

Theo takes his hand out of his pocket and pulls out a flashlight, handing it over to me. Then pulls out another one for himself.

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