Page 110 of Born into Darkness

“I don’t know if I’m pregnant,” I tell him, “but whenever we do have kids, I really hope they’re just like you.”

He gives me a wink and kisses my navel. “And I hope they’re just like you.”

“Maybe a compromise,” I suggest. “A little girl who loves to play the piano.”

I swear his whole face softens at the image I’ve just put in his head. “Adark-eyedlittle girl who loves to play the piano,” he corrects.

“And a grey-eyed boy who loves dogs and the beach,” I say, already picturing how happy it’ll make Wallace.

Max grins and kisses my stomach again before lifting up. “I’ll do my best, baby. We might need to have more than two, though, to get that exact combination.”

I love the idea of a big family, so I just smile and pull him closer and say, “Sounds good to me.”

We stay in bed until Wallace comes looking for us, and then we order pizza for supper and it’s perfect. We play fetch with the happiest border collie in the world and when he finally curls up in his new bed, Max takes me back to ours and spends the rest of the night worshipping every inch of me until I finally pass out from exhaustion. If this is how the rest of my life is going to be, then I can’t wait to marry him and get started.

The next morning after I finish his finger exercises, we drink coffee and wait for my family. They’re leaving today, and no matter how happy I am with Max, I can’t deny there’s still an ache in my chest at knowing they’re leaving.

“Are you okay?” he asks, reaching over to squeeze my hand.

I smile at him and nod. “I’m fine. I’ll call them all the time and do video calls and text and send photos and all of that. It’ll be okay.”

He watches me like he doesn’t quite believe me. Cupping my face, he gives me a kiss and says, “I will do anything to make you happy,svetik moy.” His eyes look more blue than grey today, and when I turn my head and kiss the palm of his hand, he smiles and strokes my cheek with his thumb. “Will you be happy here with me, or will a part of you always be sad?”

I look up at him, taking in the sight of my beautiful fiancé and tell him the truth. “I will always miss my family. I love them too much not to, but I will never be sad to be with you, Max. I love you, and I can’t wait to marry you.” I smile at the relief I see on his face. “Thank you for agreeing to live in Oregon for half the year, but I hope you know that even without that, I would still marry you, and I would still be the happiest woman on the planet for being able to call you mine.”

He kisses me and whispers that he loves me, and I have just enough time to think that I’ve never been happier before the security alert on his phone goes off, letting us know my family is here.

“All right, baby, you ready for this?”

“I’m ready,” I tell him before he grabs my hand and leads me outside.

I wasn’t lying to Max. I don’t regret choosing him, and I’ll never regret it, but that doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t break a little bit when I see my family getting out of the SUVs. When I meet my dad’s eyes, mine fill with tears. He sees it and quickly walks over, wrapping me up in a hug as he kisses the top of my head.

“This isn’t permanent,” he reminds me. “We get you for half the year and we’ll visit during the other six months. It’s a temporary separation, and I expect phone calls and texts and photos,” he says.

“I will. I promise,” I tell him.

He looks down at me while Max goes to give my mom a hug and tell her goodbye. We’re far enough away to give us a bit of privacy, so I know no one can hear him when he says, “Are you sure about this, honey? I know he protected you, and I’ll always be grateful for that, but I don’t want you marrying him because you feel you owe it to him or out of some misplaced guilt.”

I give a soft laugh and shake my head, loving that he cares enough to ask and make sure, but also knowing it’s a fear he can let go of. “I love him, Dad, and I want to marry him, not because I feel like I have to, but because Iwantto.”

He nods and gives a small shrug. “I had to ask.”

“I know, and I love you for it,” I say.

He sighs and squeezes my hand, raising a brow at the large diamond I’m wearing. “Well, at least he wasn’t cheap about the ring.”

I laugh and look down at the diamond that still makes me smile every time I look down and see it. “No, he wasn’t,” I agree.

“Does Wallace like him?”

“They’re getting along great,” I say. “Max never gets tired of throwing the ball for him, so Wallace is in heaven.”

“That’s good,” my dad says. He’s quiet for a second before he shakes his head as if he can’t believe this is really happening. “I was so scared while you were gone, terrified I was going to lose you, and now I’m losing you in a different way. The house is going to seem so different without you.”

My big strong tattooed dad looks more emotional than I’ve ever seen him, and it has my own eyes tearing up as I give him a big hug. “You’re not losing me, Dad. You’ll never lose me. We can talk anytime you want, and I’ll visit so much it’ll be like I never left.”

“You better,” he says, squeezing me back. “I love you, honey.”

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