Page 115 of Sinfully Savage Mafia

Something dark and nasty flares in my father’s eyes and he turns, stalking to Conor and fisting his shirt, slamming him back against the bar, harder than I ever could.

“Is this true, Conor?” he asks with quiet and deadly intent. “Did you pull a gun on your sister?”

“I…” Conor looks at me, and the disgust suddenly morphs into shame. But then he lifts his head and narrows his eyes. “It was a bad day. I wouldn’t have done it. But she needs to learn her lesson. Know her place. She’s no underboss. We all know it.”

Silence comes down and the fire suddenly goes out in me and I collapse into a chair. “I’m not. And it’s not just because I’m female.” I look up at Dad. “Marrying me off to Matteo was to keep me in check because you just didn’t trust me. You haven’t since… Since Molly was taken. Because that was all my fault. Just like Conor told me.”

“Conor.” That’s all Dad says.

And I look down, blinking hard, trying to clear the hot blur of tears from my eyes. I take in a deep breath, then another and another, until I have my control back, until I’m no longer on the edge of self-pity and disaster.

“Heaven, that’s nonsense,” Aunt Maura says, as she moves to me. “Everyone knew you’d done what you could to stop them from taking her.”

“No, not everyone.” I look at my father. “You didn’t. I saw it in your eyes then, and I can see it again now.”

Dad shakes his head. “You only see what you want to see, Heaven. You always have. You’ve been so racked with guilt that you’ve never let yourself off the hook.”

“Was making me underboss charity?”

My father laughs, a sad sound. “Not on your life, Heaven.”

“It was my fault,” I say. “And I’ve been trying to make up for it ever since.”

“You’re the only one who thinks you need this redemption.” Dad’s forehead pinches.

“Fuck that!” Conor staggers over. “If you had the makings of a boss, Heaven, you’d have saved her!”

“Conor!” Dad glares at him. “Enough!”

I shake my head, my shoulders slumping. “No. He’s right. I know it.”

For years, I’ve let Conor chip away at me because he’s a mess. I’ve proven myself, I know that. I took one for the team and got my heart decimated.

But I’m strong.

I can see that.

There’s guilt and there’ll always be guilt over Molly. But if I can do this, change my thinking, get my shit together, and be in the game my way, then I’ll make it. I run over what Dad’s said. It strikes me he’s never said I wasn’t good enough.

I look at him. “Why did you also appoint me underboss? Because of what happened?”

He frowns. “No, Heaven.” He slides a disgusted look at Conor. “Because you’re smart and strong and can go places. I know how the game is played. I’ve been hard on you, harder than Conor, because you have the ability. But you have to want it for the right reasons. I thought if the two of you did this together, one would choose that life, and the other would find the right fit for them.”

“Me?”

“I don’t know. But Villani has opportunities that I can’t give you. I thought I was playing him, but he played us.”

“So—”

“Enough. Listen to me.” He shakes his head and takes hold of the back of a chair. “I let him in because we needed him. Like it or not. And you…it was safer for you, Heaven. Over the past couple of weeks, I saw his real motive. Villani wants our territory. And you with him and the way he looks at you… Well, I’d rather him than someone else laying claim to what’s ours because Conor will fuck it up.”

“Bullshit,” Conor says, coming at us. Then he stops short, like he realizes who he’s about to jump. “She’s a fucking girl. She’s weak. She’s gonna need a man. Look at her. All fucking sad because bitch here couldn’t keep the man she was set up with.”

My aunt of all people marches up and slaps Conor across the face. “I love you, you’re my blood. But pray we forgive you. And if I ever hear you speak about women like that again, especially your sister, I’ll shoot you myself.”

I flash my aunt a grateful smile. Feeling sorry for myself isn’t who I want to be. Or who I am. I get up. I keep going, dammit. “You rock, Aunt Maura. Thanks, Dad. And Conor? I forgive you for what happened.”

He starts to speak but I speak over him.

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