Page 97 of Sinfully Savage Mafia

I could fall for him, I realize. Hard.

There’s a part of me, the little girl inside, who’s already head over heels, because he’s part fairy tale in how he is with me when we’re alone. And when we’re out. Jailer or protector. It’s a fine line, and that little girl sees the protector, the safety net of the trappings of Matteo.

I’ve taken what he’s said and run with it, and when I see my father—Matteo keeps me from Conor, or is always in the same room with us, hand near his gun so Conor can see—I never bring up what happened in that warehouse. No matter how much I’ve wanted to, I’ve stopped myself.

And now, here I am, a little part of me in love with the man I hate. The man I hated. The man I can have a future with if I choose.

One thing that steals my breath is how he is now compared with how he was before. I think he cares about me and my family. It might have started as a business arrangement initially, but it feels like it morphed into something else. Or else I’m being an idiot. But I choose to see it as he tells it. He picked me, asked for me. He didn’t have to.

And he has layers, ones I can spend years peeling back, because there’s always something else, another depth, and he fascinates me. Makes me crazy, too. Because he’s a cold asshole when he wants to be. Overbearing.

He’s also phenomenal in bed, or against the wall or on the floor…

And he can be soft and sweet, too.

In the beginning, I was caught between a rock and a hard place. I couldn’t walk away from my father’s order, knowing that my resistance would put my family in jeopardy.

Now I can’t walk away because I have feelings. Big ones.

We pull up at the church and Aunt Maura fusses again.

“I’m okay.”

Dad glances at us, then away. “Of course she is.”

“Give us a minute, Declan,” Aunt Maura says.

My father sighs and climbs out of the car and paces a few steps away. Patty comes up to him and peers over at me. But I turn back to my aunt, who’s patiently waiting. “If it’s about the birds and the bees, I’m aware.”

“Heaven.” She shakes her head, but when she looks at me, her blue eyes are both kind and filled with concern. “I know what I said to you that night you were betrothed…”

It feels like a million years ago. Since then, I’ve cycled through so much, but, as I think about it, there’s goodness there, in the shape of Matteo. Of how he’s been with me, and yeah…beyond the sex, there just might be something, and I don’t know. That big L word—love—hovers, but I’m not sure what to do with it. Time. That’s what. It needs time.

“I remember.”

“There’s duty, and you’ve always been dutiful, driven, if a little hot-tempered. You’re smart, smarter than the others, and I know this must be really difficult.”

“I do what needs to be done.”

“You’re someone I love dearly. And yes, you are that. But if you don’t want this marriage, truly don’t, we can find a way.”

“It’s a little late,” I say.

But she shakes her head. “Not yet. I’m checking, my love. Do we run off?”

“No.” I take her hand and kiss it, squeezing it tight. “I know my duty. I’m underboss, and…and…I think this could work. He isn’t what I thought.”

She breathes out and relaxes a little. “Just what I wanted to hear. I’ve seen how you look at him. And how he looks at you. Growing to love someone isn’t the same as falling hard, so…” She smiles.

My pulse throbs against my neck when my father pulls open my door.

Aunt Maura gets out, but Dad holds out a hand to me. I stare at it, then at him, finally grasping it and allowing him to help me out of the car. I gather the long white train in the crook of my arm and face him. This is the first time we’ve been face to face without an audience since it all went down. I’m not sure what I expect, but it’s not this.

His eyes look sad and drawn, and he brings a hand to the back of his neck.

“Heaven,” he says in a heavy voice. “I’m so sorry the way things turned out. I’m sorry that you have to go through with this, but I’m so grateful to you for saving our family.”

I squeeze the side of his arm. God, I’ve thought about this moment for the past two weeks. And last night I finally decided that I’d forgive him.

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