Page 542 of Sinfully Savage Mafia

“I know what you want to hear, but that’s not our world, babe. You’ll always be a Salesi, for better or worse. You’ll never be able to separate yourself from your family’s organization. Their sins will always become your sins. You can hide from them, but it won’t be forever. Our enemies are pretty unforgiving. And they’re relentless as hell. They always know exactly how to cause pain and suffering. So, no. The normal you want? It doesn’t exist.”

“Great,” she mutters, twisting her hands together. “And that lack of normal…how do you handle it? Do you even care that you can’t have it? Is it just so ingrained that you don’t even think about how much better things could be if you weren’t always watching your back? Doesn’t it hurt your neck after a while?” A dry chuckle slips from her lips.

“I’ve made some pretty bad choices in my life, Lil. Done things that have caused a lot of problems for my family, all because I’m trying to stay ahead of the enemy. I’ve committed a lot of sins because of that, sins my family has inherited. I’m not the thinker in my crew. I don’t sit around and wait for things to happen. I make them happen. Drives my father and my cousins crazy. But it’s who I am. It’s how I live, and how I survive. So I guess it’s always been the only normal I know.”

“What about the rest of your family? How do they feel about how your actions have impacted them?”

I rub the stress knot tightening on the back of my neck. “My older brother Ciro has his own problems to deal with, so he doesn’t focus much on me. I think he’s a little surprised I’m not dead yet, actually. But Gallo…” My voice trails off and my throat tightens, feeling that familiar surge of anger when I think about the damage I’ve done to him because of my fucking quests for justice.

“Your youngest brother, right?”

“Yeah,” I rasp. “You know, for as different as we are, sometimes I feel like he’s the only one who really gets me. And he’s the only one who is willing to help, no questions asked, even if he thinks I’m off my nut. That night we went after Messina at that underground casino…” I shake my head. “It could have been really bad, Lily. I put him in there.”

“Yes, but you saved him, too.”

“If he hadn’t been there in the first place, he wouldn’t have had to be saved. I don’t think my father has forgiven me for it, either. I can tell it’s always between us, hanging in the air. My recklessness almost killed his youngest son. The baby. The golden boy. The protégé.” I smirk. “I was never that guy. I could never be molded, hard as he tried.”

“I get that about you,” she says.

“I made my bed. But he deserves better than this life. He’s a good kid and he’s just gonna get sucked in like the rest of us if he sticks around with me.” I shrug. “With a permanent crick in his neck. I need to convince him to go back to school or something. He can be anything he wants, if he just gets the hell away from all of this. Dragging him into my world is just fucking selfish and I realized that too late.”

“Where is he now? Sicily?”

“Right about now, he’s on his way here. For the meeting. My father wanted us all to be here.”

“So much for not getting sucked in, huh?”

“Yeah, well, I’m gonna do whatever I can to keep him on the outside. Part of the reason he’s still shielded is that he’s young. He hasn’t been involved in a lot of high-profile stuff, so he’s kind of flying under the radar, you know?”

“You really think the people who have vendettas against your family won’t find him if they know it could hurt you?”

“I sure as hell hope not, Lily.” I lean back on my hands and stare up at the blue sky. “Because if not, it’s on my head for letting him in. I can’t let my normal be his. I’ll fight like hell to keep him away from the flames.”

“Do you believe you can control his fate?”

“Probably about as much as you believe you can escapeyourfate.”

She turns her troubled gaze up toward me. “There really is no exit strategy for us, is there?”

CHAPTER19

ZENO

“I’m not gonna lie, Lil. The exit strategy can be pretty fucking deadly. But you already know that. This is just who we are. It’s in our blood. You can fight it, but at the end of the day, family comes first.”

“I guess I’ve spent the past year fooling myself into believing I broke away from it all.” She lets out a deep breath. “But everything good comes to an end, right?”

“Not true. You just have to adjust your perception of what’s good.”

She nods. “Maybe…”

“No, definitely,” I say. “And I know that from personal experience.” I wink at her and a pink flush dots her cheeks.

I dip my head toward hers, grazing her lips with mine. I palm the back of her head, separating her lips with my tongue. She grips the sides of my shirt, eagerly attacking my mouth with the same yearning that festers deep within me.

I lose track of all time as I drink her in, pressing my fingertips into her hips. A loud and sudden ringing makes her jump back with a loud gasp.

So much for distractions.

---