Page 66 of In this Moment

“I want to believe that,” she said. “I want to believe more than anything that he loves me. It has to be love. I won’t settle for anythingless.”

“Of course not. Why shouldyou?”

She couldn’t explain to her friend. Not now. Too much had happened.

“But if he loved me, why did he leave?”

That was the one thing she didn’t understand. Why didn’t he tell her? Why didn’t he stay and fight if he really loved her? How could he walkaway?

The same way youdid.

It was as much her fault as it was his. But she needed to know. She needed to besure.

“Because Declan will always put others first. He thought it was what you wanted. And he would never get in the way of what you want. Not if it will make you happy, Evie. He’ll sacrifice everything for you. Including himself. Always.”

It was wrong. It was all wrong.

But what can I do aboutit?

After leaving Evie’s shop, he’d returned to his brother’s house and grabbed the few things he had there. Everything else was at Evie’s, but he wasn’t going to stop there. It would be too painful. He’d get new things.

After a quick good-bye, and even quicker non-explanation to his confused siblings, Declan had thrown his few belongings into the back of the car and hit the road. If Wes wanted him to be there for the meetings, that’s what he’d do. And there was no point in grooming him to take over as the face of DAR anymore. Not if he had no reason to stay in Cedar Springs.

But you do have a reason.

The voice in the back of his head was relentless. From the moment he drove out of town limits, headed to the city, the little voice wouldn’t shutup.

Don’t leave.

Fight forher.

You loveher.

Tellher.

Would that change anything? He had no idea. Evie would always do what was best for Jonah. Just the way his mom had done what was best for them. That’s the way it should be. He wouldn’t expect anything different from her. If he told her that he loved her, it would just hurt more when she chose Tony and walked away fromhim.

She wouldn’t walkaway.

If only he could besure.

Declan drove for twenty minutes, battling with himself before he realized that he hadn’t been paying any attention to the road. “Dammit.” He yanked the car to the right and pulled over in a rest stop. He needed to think. He needed a clear head to be sure he was making the right decision. Because if he left and walked away from the only woman he’d ever loved, he wouldn’t be able to look back. It would be over. Forever.

And he just didn’t think he was ready forthat.

He turned the car off and got out into the cool mountain air. He inhaled deeply and walked down toward a picnic table that was perched next to the river.

He had to balance what was best for Evie with his own desires. He’d never been selfish before, but he was more than a little tempted at that moment.

Declan sat for a few minutes, trying to sort out in his head how he could explain to Evie that it wasn’t a good decision to be with Tony. How could he tell her that choosing Tony was wrong?

Because it was. It wasn’t that long ago when Declan wasn’t sure whether he’d be enough for her and whether he’d be able to give her everything she deserved. But a lot had changed. No, everything had changed. And maybe he still wasn’t totally sure whether he could be everything for her all of the time. But the one thing he did know for sure was that he could love her because he did love her and everything else would sort itself out if they hadthat.

But only if she loved him, too.

He dropped his head into his hands, remembering the way she’d looked him in the eyes and told him it hadn’t been real. Those words had completely broken his heart because it had been real. His time with her had been the most real thing he’d ever felt in his life. And she had to feel the same way. She had to. He refused to believe that she’d been acting.

He could also remember with perfect clarity the look in her eyes when they made love. That wasreal.

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