Page 62 of Escape to the Sun

“What’s so funny?” Ash pulled back and looked at her as if she’d totally lost her mind, which she may have.

“Was I gone long?”

“Were you?”

“You could say that.” She took Ash’s hand and led him up the dock into grande casa. She was suddenly overcome by thirst. How long was she out there, anyway? “I need a drink.”

“I’ll get some beers.”

“No.” She stopped him. “Water for me. I…” She paused long enough to guzzle half the bottle from the fridge. “I didn’t realize how thirsty I was.”

“You’re acting crazy.” He shook his head, but there was a smile on his face. “What’s going on? Where did you go?”

“I don’t know.”

Ash tilted his head and waited. Heather laughed at his confusion.

“I took the boat out to get sea grapes from across the channel,” she started to explain.

“Why didn’t you take the canoe?”

Heather raised her eyebrows and Ash laughed. “Oh yeah. I guess we should rescue the boat later, too.”

“I guess we should.” She chugged the last half of her water bottle before she continued. “Anyway. I took the boat out and I was enjoying it so much, I decided to go a little bit farther.”

“How far?” Concern started to show on Ash’s face.

“That’s the thing.” She laughed. “I have no idea. I was driving along somewhere in the mangroves and the engine quit.”

“It quit?”

She nodded, eager to get the story out and tell him exactly what she was feeling. It was almost bursting inside her. “As it turns out, there is no anchor and no paddle in the boat.” She tried to look stern, but she couldn’t stop the smile. “So I floated. And floated and floated.”

“What the hell, Heather?” He put his hands on her shoulders and shook her a little. “Are you okay? You got it started again? Well, obviously.”

“I did.” She nodded and moved to the fridge to get the beers. Now that she was hydrated, a beer was in order. After all, she was celebrating. What exactly, she couldn’t quite articulate. But she felt good. Damn good. And that’s all that mattered. “Cheers.” They clinked bottles and she took a long pull before she answered him. “I have no idea how long I was out there. Long enough that you didn’t notice.” She pointed the bottle at him accusingly.

“I was up at Sherri’s for a long time.” He waved his hand, dismissing it. “We can talk about that later. But seriously. Were you out there the whole time I was gone?”

“Maybe not the whole time,” she said. “But long enough that I was able to have a good cry.” She couldn’t even believe she was admitting that to Ash, but somehow it felt right. It felt as if she needed to somehow try to explain how she’d just come to an epiphany about her life. And him. Definitely him. So much…him.

Before he could ask her again whether she was okay, she kept talking. “It was just me out there and I got mad. And then I got sad. And then…I was okay.” She smiled so wide, it almost hurt her face, but she couldn’t help it. There was no other way to explain what was going on.

“I needed it,” she continued. “I needed to come to grips with everything and I think the boat breaking down was just the tipping point. Almost a representation of my entire life. Does that make sense?”

Ash shook his head slowly. “Not even a little bit.”

She wasn’t discouraged. “I’m tired of coasting. I’m ready to drive my own boat. Set my own course. And decide where it is that I want to go.”

“Okay.” He nodded slowly. “And where is that?”

She took the step that closed the distance between them and stood directly in front of him. She’d never felt more sure of anything in her entire life. It almost didn’t matter how he’d react, because Heather knew with complete certainty that what she was about to do was exactly what she needed to do. “It’s not so much that I want to go somewhere.” She paused. This was it. The moment where she could choose her path. Go after what she wanted. It was about her now. “I wanted to tell you that I—”

The blare of a horn cut her off, jarring them both from the moment. The horn sounded again, and she turned toward the noise, to see a wooden panga, a water taxi from Bocas Town, heading toward the dock with a passenger.

“Are you expecting a guest today?”

Heather shook her head. “I just checked things. No one for…” There was something familiar about the passenger in the boat. Even from a distance, she could see the person held themselves very straight. Very proper. Very much like…her mother.

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