Page 58 of Escape to the Sun

“Let’s start from the beginning.” Heather sat down, adjusted the throttle to choke and pulled the cord. Nothing. “Okay,” she said to herself. “Try it again. Take it slow and start from the top.” She took her own advice and this time went over every detail, pretending Ash was there talking to her. Still, nothing.

“Stupid boat!”

The anger and frustration welled up and this time, she didn’t even try to stop it. Heather dropped to the bottom of the boat and let the emotion wash over her. Tears fell hard, hot and fast down her face, over her hands and onto her bare legs. And she let them. She let herself cry hot tears that she’d been holding in for months. Maybe even years.

It was a messy cry. A hard, hot cry.

It was exactly what she needed.

She cried for herself. The years lost, the missed opportunities, the love she’d never had. She cried for Ash and everything he’d confessed to her. She cried for his wife and unborn child and his heart that might not ever heal again. She cried for them and the chance they might not ever have.

Heather didn’t move from the bottom of the boat until she’d exhausted every last hot, salty tear. And not even then did she move. She sat and she waited. For what, she didn’t know. But she let it all out and when she was finally completely wrung out, she sat a little longer.

The boat had probably floated halfway to Costa Rica by now but if she just didn’t open her eyes to see, she’d never know. And sometimes, ignorance was bliss.

Just like it had been with her ex-husband’s affair. Everyone at Shelter Bay thought she’d been caught off guard—the jilted wife. Not true. Not at all. She’d known about Joe and Maria from the start. Heck, she’d known before they did. She wasn’t stupid. She saw the way they’d looked at each other that first day when Maria had walked in, asking for a job. If Heather hadn’t already been so jaded on love and the idea of it all, she might have likened that first meeting to something in one of those cheesy romantic comedy movies she used to like to watch. The ones where the heroine was always just a little bit unsuspecting and the hero was in need of a life shake-up and together they found who they were and what love was all about.

That was exactly what Joe and Maria had been like. Just like they might have if their lives had actually been in a movie, they probably tried to fight their attraction at first. After all, Joe was married and even if it was already a dead marriage, it was still a marriage. But if they had tried to fight it, it hadn’t lasted long before they finally gave in to their attraction.

And then came the baby.

She hadn’t seen that coming. Not in a million years. But when Heather had first noticed Maria’s stomach start to swell and her uniform started to get a little tight, she could have laughed with the ridiculousness of it all. But still, Joe didn’t come to her and confess. It was as if they were all living in some kind of delusional dream world where, if they just ignored what was playing out in front of them, it wasn’t really happening. And Heather was just as bad. She could have said something. Confronted them. Yelled and screamed and forced Joe to make a choice. She could have done all of that.

But she didn’t.

Because then there’d be no turning back. And when you didn’t know where you were going or what you wanted, it was sometimes easier to keep doing what you were doing and pretend that there was nothing wrong.

But there was.

And when finally Maria went into labor in the middle of the marina restaurant, Joe made his choice right there on the spot, choosing his girlfriend and the child they were about to bring into the world.

Heather should have been mad or humiliated. But all she felt was relief at being given an out.

The only problem with her relationship falling apart was she could no longer keep her head in the sand about what she wanted and what she wanted to do with the rest of her life.

Ignoring it wouldn’t make it go away.

Just like sitting in the bottom of the boat and crying about it.

Heather sat up, wiped her eyes and smoothed her hair back, fixing her ponytail. “Okay, Heather. You’re better than this.” She wasn’t one for talking to herself, but sometimes a girl just needed a pep talk and if there wasn’t anyone else to do it, she’d just have to do it for herself. “Pull yourself together. It’s not like you haven’t been in tough spots before.”

She got up and moved to the back of the boat. With her hands on her hips, she stared down the engine. “I can do this.” She walked herself through all the steps again, this time letting Ash’s voice guide her.

The fuel hose gets loose sometimes,he’d said.

There was no way it could be that simple, but it was the one thing she hadn’t checked. Heather followed the gas line to where it disappeared under the plywood bench where the gas tank was kept. She lifted the seat board to gain access and there, lying in a small puddle of what she assumed to be gasoline, was the end of the fuel line.

“Oh my God.” The words came out as a half laugh, half cry and she shoved the line back on to the fitting, making sure it was secure. “You have to be kidding me. If this works…” She refused to jinx herself by saying anymore. Heather quickly put the seat board back in place and went back to the engine. She stared it down one more time and followed all the instructions to start it.

This time, with a choke followed by a roar, the engine sputtered to life.

If she hadn’t already spent all her tears, Heather might have collapsed onto the floor one more time. But she’d wasted enough time. And one thing she knew now: she was done wasting time on things she couldn’t change.

It was time to look forward and go after what she wanted. And no matter what Ash said about not letting anyone get too close again, one thing was for sure…he didn’t have a choice in it.

She was in love with Ash. And she didn’t know entirely what that was going to look like yet, but she did know one thing—she was going to tell him. Because no matter what happened, Heather was tired of sitting back and letting life happen to her. She was taking control.

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