Page 56 of Keeping Happily Ever After

ChapterEighteen

It was finally here.

The showcase was only hours away and it still didn’t feel real to Bella. Nothing felt real.

It had been a long week. A really long week.

Between the intense rehearsals and time in the recording studio, along with all the interviews and press commitments, Bella barely had time to think about how she’d left things with Jeremy. How had it gone so wrong, so quickly when it had all been so very right? It didn’t make sense.

And her nighttime hours were filled with trying to make sense of it all. Not that she could. Instead, she tossed and turned; when she could finally fall asleep, her dreams were of Jeremy and everything that could be between them. Until it finally was easier not to sleep at all.

Finally, desperate for some rest, the night before the showcase, she gave in and took a sleeping pill.

She woke up the next morning, ready and rested. She’d also woken up to dozens of unread messages and missed calls on her phone.

She probably should have looked at them. But the idea of reading messages from loved ones wishing her well on her big day but not seeing a message from Jeremy was too much. She couldn’t handle it, so she powered off her phone and tucked it into a drawer.

Today was the biggest day of her career. She needed to focus.

Besides, she had come to the conclusion that it wasn’t the right time to have a relationship. It was for the best that they weren’t together. Logically, she knew that.

But logically or not, it didn’t matter. Because when she closed her eyes, she could still see him. She could feel his touch. Taste his kiss.

All of it.

It was too much.

Even if it wasfor the best. She still wasn’t capable of reading a message from him and knowing he wouldn’t be in the audience watching her, supporting her and loving her. And likewise, she wouldn’t be there for him on his big day.

Every time she thought of it and all they were both missing, there was a physical pain in her chest. The weight of it all was crushing.

It was easier not to think of it at all.

She went through the motions of eating her breakfast, an egg-white omelette her nutritionist had ordered up for her. She’d been staying in a suite on the second-top floor of the hotel near the studio instead of her own small apartment. It was more convenient to be close to everything and because the studio was paying for it, and there was a chef to make all her food that the nutritionist had laid out for her, it was all just easier. Steph had the top floor, the penthouse suite. Bella may be the star of the movie, but Steph wasthestar. Bella was nowhere near at her level of fame. And probably never would be. Even ifBombshellwas the hit everyone thought it would be, she still wouldn’t be at Steph’s level.

Even if she wanted to.

And did she?

If it meant not being with Jeremy, ever?

Is that what she wanted?

Sometimes it felt as if she didn’t know what she wanted anymore.

She sighed and forced it all from her mind. She needed to focus on the showcase today. That was it. Nothing else.

Bella still had a quick sound check and then she’d be in the makeup and hairstylist chair for a few hours before show time. Oh, and also the red carpet.

Her first red carpet.

And she’d walk it alone.

When Jeremy finally opened his eyes, he was in the hospital. His chest ached. It was hard to breathe and his head pounded.

But he was alive.

He didn’t remember anything after running into the burning building for the second time. It had been hot and dark. The smoke.

---