Page 34 of Wanting Happily Ever After

“I didn’t really know what…well…it didn’t seem…”

“You should go.”

“Don’t you think we should talk about it?”

Sarah turned from the sink where she’d been staring at the dirty dishes. “About what?”

That they’d made love on her living room couch.

That he’d made her feel in a way she’d never experienced before.

That Rory almost caught them together naked in the living room.

That she’d felt so safe in his arms she’d fallen asleep.

That she’d dreamed in detail about her last conversation with her husband.

That she’d woken up screaming his name.

There was more than one thing that they could talk about. And she wasn’t interested in discussing any of them. Before he could answer, Sarah shook her head. “No. You should go.”

Brody pushed up from the kitchen table and crossed the room to her. “Sarah, I don’t think I should leave you.”

“I’m fine.” It was a lie of the worst kind, because she was anything but fine. “It was a mistake.” Another lie. But this one could at least protect both of them from making the situation worse. “We shouldn’t have done that.”

“You don’t believe that.”

She squeezed her eyes shut to keep from looking at him. But when she closed her eyes, all she could see was the broken expression on Josh’s face moments before he’d run into the lake. A sob caught in her throat. “Brody, I can’t do this. I told you before that we need to be friends. I can’t…I just can’t do this. Today was too much.”

Had that been what the dream was about? Was Josh trying to tell her no? She’d ruined one man she’d loved. She wouldn’t do it again. And there was Rory to think about, too.

She still couldn’t look at him, but when he placed his hand on her hip and pulled her closer, for a second she considered giving in to his touch. Her entire body yearned to let him hold her. But that would take them down a dangerous path again. The last time he’d held her, he’d kissed her and then…no.

She shook her head. It was going to be too hard. She couldn’t do this. There was only one way to protect them both.

Sarah swallowed hard and with a deep breath, forced herself to step back while at the same time, pushing him away. “Leave.” Her voice cracked on the word, so she tried again, this time with more force. “Leave, Brody.” She swallowed back tears. “I need you to leave. We can’t do this. It was a mistake and yes,” she added before he could object, “Idobelieve that. I never should have even let you in. You betrayed me.”

She steeled herself against the look of disbelief and pain on his face while she spoke. A little bit of hurt in the short term would protect them all. It was worth it.

“Sarah, this doesn’t—”

“Let me talk.” She interrupted him. “I trusted you with the most important person in my life. You made me a promise, and you couldn’t keep it.” It was ridiculous and shaky ground, she knew, but it was all she had to stand on. Sarah forced herself not to look away when she delivered her final blow. “You’re not the man I thought you were.” She saw him wince, but still continued. “And I was wrong. About everything. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea tonight, but it was a mistake. A terrible mistake. You need to leave.”

She held her ground despite the fact that she was sure her legs would give out on her at any moment.

He looked as though he were going to say something, and she didn’t know whether she’d be able to handle it if he did. Finally, mercifully, he nodded. “If that’s what you really want.”

She nodded curtly. “It is.”A lie. A terrible, horrible lie.Her eyes burned with unshed tears, but she willed herself not to cry.

“Okay. I’ll go.”

She clenched her hands into tight fists to keep herself from reaching out as he walked away from her, wearing nothing but his swim trunks. The moment she heard the front door click shut, she released her hands and let her head drop to her chest with a long exhale. She no longer had the energy to cry as she made her way to bed, wondering whether she’d just made the biggest mistake of her life.

ChapterTen

It had beentwo days since they’d been at the lake. Two days since Faith allowed herself to entertain, even for one second, the idea of opening herself up to a relationship.

With Logan.

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