Sarah’s laughter stopped suddenly. “That feeling.”
Brody tipped his head in question but didn’t speak, so Sarah continued. “You know,” she said. “That new dating feeling. The excitement, the butterflies…the anticipation of what’s coming next. All of it. It’s been a long time since I felt that way.” She dropped her head back and looked up to the evening sky. “Alongtime.”
Brody didn’t say anything right away, and as the silence grew, she started to think that maybe she should have kept her mouth shut. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment.
Finally, she took a breath and swallowed hard. “I don’t actually know why I said that.”
“Why?”
She shook her head. “Because I actually don’t think I am jealous. It all sounds so…overwhelming.”
“I don’t know.” He didn’t look at her as he spoke, but instead tipped his head up to the sky. “It doesn’t have to be. It can be amazing.”
“Then why aren’t you doing it?” The second she asked the question, she regretted it. Sarah loved spending time with Brody. She’d come to depend on him, in a way. That would all change if he started dating someone. Which was probably why in all the time they’d hung out and been getting to know each other, she’d never asked him why he was single. After all, he was a good man, successful, incredibly good-looking. No doubt half the single ladies in town, never mind the tourists, would be interested in him. But it was in her best—and totally selfish—interests for him to stay single. The idea of him dating someone just didn’t feel right. She just couldn’t picture it.
He didn’t answer right away but right when Sarah was going to change the subject to something safer, he looked at her. “It’s just not been the right time.”
She nodded. That made sense. He’d been pretty busy getting Birchwood up and running, and then with coaching the soccer team, he probably didn’t have a lot of extra time anyway.
“Why don’t you give it a try, Sarah? I mean, it’s been…how long?”
She swallowed hard against the lump in her throat. It didn’t matter how long it had been. It didn’t get any easier. “Five. Almost six years.”
Sarah appreciated that he didn’t tell her she was being ridiculous by waiting so long to get back into the dating world the way most people did when they found out she’d been a widow for so long.
Instead, he nodded. “And you haven’t considered getting back out there?”
She shrugged.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, each sipping at their drinks before Brody spoke again. “It was an accident, right?”
Sarah hesitated, but eventually nodded. It was an accident. That was the official report. A drowning. An accident. A terrible, tragic accident. That was what the investigation had ruled.
She’d never spoken it out loud, but that didn’t stop her from questioning it.Had they gotten it wrong?
“I heard he saved a child from drowning.” Brody added, “That’s pretty amazing.”
“Right.” She looked down. The familiar guilt filled her. “The details got a little messed up,” she finally said. “There wasn’t a child, but some people heard that and there was a newspaper story that ran it and…well, they printed a retraction but even so…anyway…I never bothered to correct anyone.”
She’d never really told anyone that part of things before. Not unless they asked. Which most didn’t. It had always just been easier for everyone to believe Josh had been a hero.
Brody nodded in understanding. “I could see that.”
“Really?”
“Absolutely. I can’t even imagine what that time would have been like for you.”
They sat in silence for a moment before Brody spoke again.
“And he was the love of your life?” He took a sip of his beer. “Is that why you haven’t been able to date again?”
It was what most people assumed and over the years, Sarah had found it easier just to let people think what they wanted. It offered them an easy explanation for why she chose to stay single. It sure was a hell of a lot easier than the alternative.
She looked over at Brody and contemplated telling him the truth. But ultimately she just shrugged. “Maybe I will start dating.”
It was a throw-away comment, but Brody sat upright and stared directly at her, a grin on his face.
“Really? You will?”