“I mean, no.” He laughed again. “It’s not. But it will be. You know I love you, Noa.”

She didn’t know what she’d expected, but to hear Ryan’s voice and know that he wasn’t angry with her filled her with relief.

“And the parents?”

“Oh, that’s a different story. They’re upset for sure.”

Her heart clenched.

“I figured you’d just gotten cold feet and needed a bit of space. To be honest, I wasn’t too worried about it all. I did my best to calm everyone down. Mom wanted to leave and go home, but I convinced everyone to stay. After all, there was no point in canceling all the reservations. Besides, the skiing has been great.”

Noa rolled her eyes. Leave it to Ryan to turn a botched wedding into a fun, family ski holiday. She listened while he filled her in on how the mothers were taking the news, and made her laugh a few times until she’d forgotten the reason for her call completely.

Asher had gone outside to give her privacy, and through the kitchen window, in the porch light, she could see him behind the cabin, chopping firewood next to the woodshed. Being with Asher felt different. On some level, Noa knew what they were doing wasn’t real and they couldn’t stay hidden away from reality forever.

But she couldn’t help but hope for a few more days at the very least. Asher made it clear that he also never wanted a relationship, which made what they were doing kind of perfect, because she didn’t have any expectations either.

“So, are you going to tell me where you are?”

She shook her head but before she could answer, Ryan continued. “There are rumors that you’re with the hotel guy.”

“The hotel guy?”

“He’s an owner here. Carlson, I think his name is?”

Again, her eyes traveled to the man in question.

“Some employees reported you getting into his truck, but the manager isn’t confirming or denying anything. Honestly, I think it’s great, Noa. I told you to blow off some steam and get it out of your system.”

It struck her at that moment just how screwed up the entire situation actually was.

“You did tell me that…”

“Great. So when you’re done with that, do you think we can get this done?”

“When I’m?—”

“Maybe New Year’s Eve? It would be a good new memory for?—”

“Oh no.” She stopped him. “Ryan. We’re not getting married. I thought I made that clear when I…well, when I didn’t show up for the wedding.”

He was silent for a second. “I thought that maybe you just needed to blow off a little steam. You can’t be serious about not going through with it.” The laughter had completely vanished from Ryan’s voice.

Noa fingered the gold rose. “Ryan, I really think?—”

“Don’t give me an answer right now.”

“I already?—”

“Sit on it.” He interrupted her. “Really think about it, Noa. And what it will mean to everyone. Our families need this. And you know it doesn’t matter to us. Not really.”

She let her gaze travel out the window again.

It was ridiculous to think that what she was doing with Asher was anything important or serious in any way. It wasn’t. She knew that. Ryanwasimportant and special to her. So what was she doing?

“Remember what I said about seeing other people, Noa. You can do as much of…whatever it is you’re doing, as you want. You know I don’t care.”

“I know. But that’s not why I ran, Ryan. I just…it doesn’t feel…”